


Alone Together

by Sulli (Cas_Dean_and_Sammy)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Birthday, Birthdays, Destiel - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Happily Ever After, Happy Ending, Highschool AU, Homophobia, I promise, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mild Angst, School, Slight Age Difference, Student Dean, Teacher Castiel, Top!Cas, Tutor/Teacher Castiel, Tutoring, Underage - Freeform, bottom!Dean, highschool, if underage is a squick for you don't worry bc it's not that big a deal, non supernatural au, school au, slow-build romance, student/tutor, teenage dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2015-06-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 15:55:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 33
Words: 83,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1610873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cas_Dean_and_Sammy/pseuds/Sulli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is a struggling high school student, and his teachers decide that he should hire a tutor. Enter Castiel. Dean begins to develop feelings for the college boy, but has difficulty accepting who he is. Castiel teaches him in more ways than one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, the title does come from the song 'Alone Together' by Fall out Boy. Also, comments are appreciated. :) Enjoy the story!

The first time it happened, Dean didn't pay it too much mind. It was just one bad math grade. He could handle it. However, when it started happening over and over and over, that's when things got a little sticky. Dean wasn't sure if he had test anxiety, if the teachers were bad, or if he was just plain stupid. But no matter what, something obviously needed to change. And quick. Dean was in his junior year of highschool, and if he wanted even the slightest chance of getting into college, he needed to get his grades up. 

Dean sat at his desk, impatiently waiting for his math teacher to come by and hand him his test. He'd studied all night for this one. There was no way that he didn't pass. He couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face as his teacher set the paper down on his desk, face-down. It was an A. He could feel it. He bit his lip in excitement and turned the paper over, his shoulders slumping and face falling as he saw what was written. 'D.' In thick red letters, as if it already wasn't prominent enough. Dean resisted the urge to scream. All that studying and preparation, and none of it payed off. It just didn't make any sense. Dean closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose in obvious stress.

When class finally ended, Dean stood up, his face a storm of mixed emotions as he walked over to the door, crumpling the paper into a tiny ball and tossing it in the trash-can on his way out. Before he could get a foot out of the classroom however, he was stopped.

"Mr. Winchester?" 

Dean froze in his tracks and turned around on his heel to face his teacher, a happy facade plastered on his face. "Yes, Mr. Henriksen?" he asked, all mock-politeness and cheesy smiles. All Dean wanted to do was go home, eat some pie, and watch Dr. Sexy M.D. as he wallowed in his self-pity for the rest of the night. 

Mr. Henriksen stood up from his desk, sighing softly and givng Dean an exasperated look. "Have a seat. I'd like to talk with you." He gestured to a seat, raising his eyebrows at Dean as he waited for his student to oblige.

After a moment's hesitation, Dean groaned and threw his bag on the ground, sighing and slumping down in the chair as he reached it. "What's up?" he asked, obviously annoyed. And he had a right to be. He'd just failed yet another math test. Why couldn't he just be left alone to feel sorry for himself? 

Mr. Henriksen crossed his arms and leaned against his own desk, taking a deep breath before looking back at Dean and rubbing the back of his neck. "You failed another test, Dean," he said, crossing his legs at the ankles and tapping his fingers on the desk absently.

Dean almost laughed. Wasn't that a bit obvious? Where was this conversation going? "Uh, yeah. And?" he asked, more confused than irritated at this point. He furrowed his brow slightly and rested his elbows on the hard wooden surface of the desk.

Mr. Henriksen sighed. "Something obviously needs to be done, Dean. If you plan on doing anything worthwhile with your life, you need to get your education in check. I've decided to help you." he said as he shoved a hand in his pocket and pulled out a small card. He glanced at it as if he was second-guessing himself, before handing it to Dean. 

Dean took the card and looked at it. All that was written was a name and a number. 'Castiel Novak. 555-890-8365.' What the hell kind of name was Castiel? And why was his teacher giving him someone's number? He was extremely perplexed as he turned the paper over, trying to see if there was anything written on the other side. There wasn't. Dean's eyebrows pulled together and his forehead creased as he looked back up at his teacher. "Okay? And what's this?" he asked, holding the paper up between his thumb and index finger on his right hand.

Mr. Henriksen stood up straight and began to pace around the room, though his eyes were fixed on Dean the whole time. "Well," he said slowly, as if he knew that what he was about to say might rub Dean the wrong way. "Some of your other teachers and I have been talking..."

Dean tensed up at that. This couldn't be good.

"...And," his teacher continued, "Since your grades are slipping, and we know you're a smart kid, we all think that you could benefit greatly from having a tutor." 

Dean's eyes widened and he immediately opened his mouth to come up with a retaliation, but he was cut off when Mr. Henriksen held a hand up to silence him. 

"Dean. Let me finish. This was not my idea. I thought we should put you in remedial classes," he said, speaking firmly and raising his eyebrows at Dean. "But Ms. Milton, your English teacher, thinks that you have potential, and you're just not putting forth your best effort." He shrugged as if he didn't really believe that. "I personally don't think this will work, but I'm willing to give it a try. However, if I do not see an improvement in your grades by the end of this semester, I'm putting you in remedial classes. No questions asked." He saw the look on Dean's face and sighed, his expression changing from hard to sympathetic. "This is for your own good, Dean. We want you to strive to do your best and have a good life. Education is essential, and it's important that you take this seriously." 

Dean flushed, embarrassed, because he didn't need a tutor. He could study perfectly fine on his own. Hell, he would even go to the library and study there with his little brother, Sam. He ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath and composing himself before opening them again. He looked at the paper in his hand, which he'd somehow manged to crumple into a little ball at some point during all of this. He smoothed it out on the desk and looked at the name and number again. "So," he started, his voice coming out higher than he'd meant for it to. He tried again. "So, this is the guy you want to tutor me?"

Henriksen nodded, sighing quietly in relief and visibly relaxing once he realized that Dean wasn't going to throw a big fit about this. "Yes. Castiel is a great boy. Extremely smart for his age. He tutors my son, and he's getting all A's now." 

Dean nodded offhandedly, keeping his eyes glued to the piece of paper. "How much does he hire for?" 

Henriksen furrowed his brow, "Huh?"

Dean sighed and repeated himself, tearing his eyes away from the paper and looking at his teacher. "How much will it cost for him to tutor me? My family doesn't have a lot of money, and-" 

Henriksen cut him off. "We've already talked with your father about this. We agreed that the price is reasonable, and we both want the best for you, Dean." 

Dean frowned at the idea of his teachers and father talking with each other about him, but he quickly brushed the thought away, not wanting to dwell on it for too long. "Okay," he muttered, tucking the small piece of paper into his pocket and looking back at his teacher. "When do I start?" 

Henriksen smiled a little, "That's up to you and Castiel to decide. Give him a call and the two of you can discuss times, days, and anything else." He paused for a moment before continuing. "I'm sure this will be a great experience for you, Dean. I'm hoping those remedial classes won't be necessary."

Dean shrugged, frowning slightly as he stood up, grabbing his bag off the floor and slinging it over his shoulder. "Yeah yeah. Thanks," he mumbled absently as he walked out of the classroom. A tutor? A /tutor?/ Sure, Dean wasn't the smartest tool in the shed, but he didn't see why he needed this. Part of it was just the embarrassment. Whoever this...Castiel was, he was probably only going to see Dean as another dumb, mathematically challenged kid to be condescending towards. The thought of being patronized made Dean sick to his stomach. He groaned, feeling the weight of the paper in his pocket as he walked out to the parking lot, got in his car, and began the slow drive home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel will meet in person in the next chapter, don't worry. :)  
> 

The next day was Saturday, and Dean still hadn't called Castiel. He was trying to occupy himself in any way he could to forget about the piece of paper that was shoved into his sock drawer. For some reason...needing to have a tutor seemed...degrading and embarrassing. Especially when his thirteen year old genius brother had never gotten anything lower than an 'A' on his report card. Dean knew it was wrong, but sometimes he was jealous of Sam. With his good grades and ambition, he was sure to have a great future. Dean wasn't so sure about that for himself.

Dean hummed 'Back in Black' by ACDC to himself as he scrubbed the dishes, something he /never/ did. He just needed to find some way to distract himself. He figured that if he put it off long enough, eventually his teachers and father would just forget about the whole tutoring thing. What he didn't realize was that his family might notice that his behavior was slightly odd.

 "Dean?" 

Dean recognized his brother's voice. He stopped humming and turned around to face him. "Yeah?" he asked, smiling too widely. 

"Are you okay?" Sam asked, furrowing his brow and narrowing his eyes slightly. Dean could practically see the gears turning in his brother's head.

 "I'm peachy," Dean said, drying off his hands with the towel and setting it down before leaning against the counter and folding his arms over his chest. "Why wouldn't I be?" 

Sam shrugged, "I don't know. You're just acting different." Dean was not the type of person to just randomly start cleaning. If he had free time, he was spending it watching tv, eating, or driving around in his baby. Sam couldn't remember the last time Dean had cleaned without being prompted to.

 Dean played dumb. "Different? How? Why would you think that- " Before he could finish his sentence, his father walked into the kitchen, sat down on a stool at the counter, and frowned at his oldest son. 

"Have you called that Novak boy yet?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at Dean. 

"Who's 'that Novak boy?'" Sam asked, always nosy.

 Dean glared at him. "No one." He knew Sam would just tease him if he found out that Dean needed a tutor, and he really wasn't in the mood for that at the moment. 

Their father, John, ignored Dean and looked at Sam. "He's Dean's math tutor." He paused, "Well, he's /going/ to be Dean's math tutor, if he ever calls the guy," he gestured to Dean as he said that last part. 

Sam tried to stifle his laughter, but failed miserably, and soon he was laughing uncontrollably at the thought. Dean knew he didn't actually find it /that/ funny, but Dean would be annoyed if he laughed, so that was his goal. 

Dean blushed and pointed up the stairs. "Get out, Sam," he said, glaring at his little brother as he slowly made his way upstairs, stopping every few steps to make some joke or laugh. As soon as he was out of sight, Dean focused his glare on his father. "Now why did you have to tell him that?" he asked, throwing his arms up in exasperation.

John sighed, "It's not a big deal, Dean. Lots of people have tutors. It doesn't mean you're dumb or anything. In fact, some people who already get good grades hire tutors so they can get even better." 

Dean rolled his eyes, "Yeah? Well I'm not one of them." 

John frowned, obviously frustrated, "Why are you so defensive about this? It's nothing serious. It'll be good for you." 

Dean shrugged, "I don't wanna be tutored by some guy who's just gonna treat me like a kindergartner." That was one of his biggest worries about getting a tutor. He was afraid the guy was going to treat like he was dumb or something. Just because he wasn't the best at math didn't mean that he wasn't capable.

His father nodded, realization crossing over his face. "I'm sure he's a nice guy." 

Dean scoffed, looking up at the ceiling. "Have you ever met him? Do you even know his first name?" 

John shook his head, "No. And I don't need to. All I need is for you to give the Novak guy a call and discuss things. Right now, Dean. I won't take no for an answer. You need to get your grades up, and this will help. Now stop being such a baby, man up, and just call the damn guy already." He gave Dean a firm glare and raised his eyebrows, waiting for his older son to make a move. 

Dean knew not to argue any further. "Yes, sir," he mumbled quietly, leaving to go into his room and get the number. 

****

Dean sat down on his bed, his back pressed against the headboard as he stared at the number in his hands. He'd been sitting there for almost ten minutes, unable to make the call. When he actually thought about it, Dean didn't know why the thought of having a tutor unnerved him so much. Maybe he was overreacting. In a surge of determination, Dean grabbed his phone and dialed the number before putting the phone to his ear without any hesitation.

It rang once, twice, thrice, before someone answered. Someone with a low voice that sounded like he'd just gargled gravel. "Hello?" Dean's inspiration from a few minutes before the call went out the door when he heard the guy's voice. He was immediately intimidated. 

"H-hi. Is this Castiel Novak?" he asked, glancing at the card and reciting the unusual name into the receiver. 

"Yes," the voice-Castiel's voice-replied. "Who's calling?" 

Dean hated talking on the phone. It made him extremely unsettled, and he wasn't sure what to say. He stood up and began pacing around the room. Who could stay still when talking on the phone anyway? "This is Dean. Dean Winchester," he answered, his voice not sounding as confident as he would like. 

"Ah, yes. You're the kid Victor told me about," Castiel answered.

Dean frowned. He was /not/ a kid. He didn't like this guy already. "Yeah that's me. I guess you're supposed to be my tutor or something," he said, trying to sound nonchalant.

Castiel chuckled, and Dean frowned. Why was he laughing? Did he say something funny? He bit his lip nervously as Castiel replied. 

"Yes. I assume you're calling to discuss prices?" he asked, waiting for Dean's reply.

Dean nodded, before he realized that Castiel couldn't see him, and he quickly gave him a rushed, stuttered reply. "Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's why I'm calling. To discuss prices." 

Castiel laughed again, and Dean's frown deepened. Was everything he said funny? 

"Okay, Dean," he started, "I charge fifteen dollars an hour for math. You are coming for math, right?" he asked.

Dean cleared his throat before responding, "Yeah, I kinda suck at math." 

Castiel sighed into the phone. "Don't say that. You just haven't unleashed your potential yet." 

Dean laughed bitterly, "Now don't pull any of that touchy feely, self-help, yoga crap on me. I'm not in the mood. Let's just stick to the math, alright?" 

Castiel sighed again, "Okay. Well, like I said, fifteen per hour, and I'm thinking we could do two hours every other day?" 

Dean groaned softly. There goes his afternoons. "Yeah. Two hours. Great." 

Castiel continued, not noticing the note of sarcasm in Dean's voice. "We could either do it at my apartment or your house. Your choice." 

Dean knew his dad sometimes got drunk and angry, and the last thing he wanted was for Castiel to see how messed up his family was. "Your place is fine," he said quickly, still pacing around the room. 

"Great," Castiel said, "I'll text you my address. We'll start Monday. Come over at four o'clock, and you'll stay until six. Does that work?" 

Dean sighed and shrugged, "Yeah. That works." 

"Good. I'll see you on Monday, Dean. Bring your homework and textbooks." And with that, Castiel hung up the phone. 


	3. Chapter 3

After what seemed like a blink of an eye, Monday rolled around. Dean had been dreading it all weekend, but still, he went to school, pretending to pay attention in his classes when really, his thoughts were on his tutor. What if he was mean? He sounded pretty rough on the phone. Dean knew that he wouldn't work well with some arrogant dick who treated him like he was dumb. 

School ended at about 3:15, and the day passed pretty quickly. Dean drove home, turning the volume all the way up on his music to try and distract himself from what he knew was coming in under an hour. Of course, because the world just hated Dean Winchester, he'd received more homework than usual that day. His dad told him that he should be happy that he had a tutor who could help him with his work, but really, Dean was just embarrassed. He had a reputation at school for being a cocky smart-ass, whom everyone loved nonetheless. If /anyone/ found out that he was getting extra help in math, his social status would diminish greatly. 

Once Dean got home, he sat down at the kitchen table and took out all his math homework and textbooks. He thought that maybe, if he could do all his work before he got there, then Castiel would let him leave early. But Dean couldn't seem to do it. The work was over that day's lesson, and Dean hadn't been paying the slightest attention to what Mr. Henriksen had been saying. 

After about a half hour of just staring at the math problems and clenching his teeth in frustration, Dean sighed heavily and stood up, shoving the papers aside. To his dismay, he would just have to let Castiel show him how to work out the problems. 

Dean glanced at his watch and groaned. It was three-fifty already, and Castiel lived nearly fifteen minutes away. Dean hated being late, especially when he was first meeting someone. It made a bad impression, and Dean was a firm believer in making a good first impression. He hurriedly gathered up all his math homework and textbooks, said a hasty, "seeya," to Sam, who was watching a lame documentary about a chimpanzee named Trixie, and hurried out to his car. 

After Dean had started up the car, he pulled out his phone and looked at the text in which Castiel had sent his address. Like most college students in Lawrence, he lived in an apartment complex downtown near the university. Dean peeked at the time again. Three-fifty-five. Yup, he was going to be late. Dammit. He sighed deeply and began to drive to Castiel's place.

By the time Dean finally reached the complex, he was already almost ten minutes late. He parked in the lot and quickly gathered all his books and work before locking the car and hurrying up to the doors. He entered somewhat timidly, feeling slightly inferior to all the college students who were casually strolling around. He took the stairs two at a time until he reached the seventh floor. Castiel's floor. He walked down the hallway, only stopping when he reached room 702. He took a deep breath and stood in front of the door for a few minutes, his heart thundering in his chest, before he worked up the courage to knock on the hard wooden surface. No sooner than he'd finished the first knock, he could hear shuffling behind the door. He saw the knob turn, and he took another deep breath, ready to face whatever bastard he was expecting to appear.

What he wasn't expecting, though, was this. 

The man that greeted him was wearing a navy blue, collared shirt with sleeves that folded at the elbows, a pair of dark slacks, and gray socks, but no shoes. His eyes were bright blue. They were so shiny, they seemed to be almost liquid. His hair was dark and /extremely/ messy. It looked as if he'd just gotten out of bed. 

Dean was expecting a preppy, sorority-type guy, or an unattractive nerdy weirdo. He wasn't prepared for a guy who looked like /this./ Now, Dean wasn't into guys, of course. But there was no way that he could deny that this guy was something special. 

"Hello. You must be Dean," Castiel said, raising his eyebrows slightly. 

Dean cleared his throat awkwardly. "Y-yeah. Sorry I'm late. I was trying to do this work and I lost track of time."

Castiel chuckled, and Dean frowned. Here we go with the laughing at everything again. 

"It happens," Castiel said simply, stepping out of the doorway so Dean could enter. "Come in." 

Dean bit his lip and slowly walked into the apartment, looking around. The place was undecorated and immaculate, save for a few pictures hanging on the blank white walls. There was a soft-looking, black couch in front of a nice television, a kitchen, and a couple closed doors that Dean assumed led to the bedrooms or a bathroom. "Nice place," he lied, because it seemed as if no one even lived here. He tried to focus on the pictures on the wall, because they were the only signs that this guy was even human. 

Castiel shrugged and followed Dean's gaze to the pictures. "That's my family," he said, breaking the silence with his rough voice and catching Dean off-guard. 

After he'd composed himself, Dean stepped a bit closer to the pictures. "You have a really big family," he noted, trying to focus on anything besides the reason why he was actually there- for tutoring. Maybe if they spent enough time drawing out the whole clichè get-to-know-you process, there wouldn't be any time for tutoring at all.

Castiel nodded and sighed a little as he looked at the picture. "Yes. Seven total." 

Dean feigned surprised interest. "Oh wow...tell me about them," he said, raising his eyebrows and casually setting his books down on the counter near where they were standing.

Castiel stared at Dean for an excruciatingly long minute, studying his face as if he knew exactly what Dean was up to. Dean felt like he was going to burn up by the intense stare being given by those icy blue eyes. When he finally looked away, Dean breathed a quiet sigh of relief. 

Castiel looked at the picture and pointed to someone, a tall boy with light brown hair. "That's Michael, he's the oldest. Very bossy, but he was the one who held the family together, so that was to be expected." He sighed tiredly, as if he really didn't want to be talking about this. "Zachariah," Castiel said, pointing to a round-faced boy with dark brown hair. "He's very annoying." He bit his lip. "Gabriel, he's very, very childish. Loves candy and playing tricks," he said, pointing to another boy with long-ish brown hair. He glanced at Dean, a challenge in his eyes as he paused. "I know what you're doing. I'm not stupid, you know."

Dean took in a sharp breath and felt his face heat up to his ears. He said nothing, so Castiel kept talking.

"How about this. I know you don't want to study at all today...but that's not an option. However, since this is your first day, we can spend the first half-hour getting to know each other. Okay?" He raised his eyebrows at Dean, and the younger boy sighed. 

"Fine." Dean didn't like when people could see straight through him. He was starting to like this Castiel guy less and less. He was intimidating.

Castiel gave him a smile and pointed to someone else in this picture, a girl with bright red hair. "That's Anna. We don't get along very well." He pointed to the last two people in the picture, a couple kids who looked like they were about Sam's age. "Hester and Samandriel are twins. They're inseperable." 

Dean was embarrassed to find himself actually enjoying to hear about Castiel's family. Maybe it was because it was the complete opposite from his own. He was snapped out of his thoughts when he realized that Castiel was staring at him again, waiting for him to say something. "Oh-uh...weird names," he commented. It was true. Who names their kid Samandriel?

Castiel nodded. "Yes, my parents are very religious. All of the children were given biblical names." 

It took all of Dean's willpower not to roll his eyes. Great. This guy was probably a huge bible-thumper, and Dean was undoubtedly going to get a bunch of spiritual advice along with his math tips. 

"Your turn," Castiel said, leaning against the counter and folding his arms over his chest as he gave Dean a pointed look.

"What?" Dean said, furrowing his brow and running his fingers through his hair-a nervous habit of his. 

Castiel laughed softly, and Dean didn't even bother getting annoyed this time. "Tell me about your family."

Dean frowned. "Oh." His family was a sensitive topic. He bit his lip and twisted his fingers nervously. "Uh, I've got one little brother, he's in the eighth grade. Sammy's really smart. Really really smart. He's a bitch, but I love him." He smiled a little as he thought of his annoying little brother. 

Castiel smiled. He could see the fondness Dean had for Sam. "He's the only sibling you have?"

Dean nodded.

"I've always wanted to have a smaller family. Things could get a bit chaotic at home," Castiel said, giving Dean a half-smile. "What about your parents? What do they do?"

Dean shook his head. Nope. He was not about to talk about his fucked-up parents to some guy he'd just met. His mom was dead, and his dad was a stupid drunk. "Doesn't matter." He shrugged and grabbed the books off the counter. "Let's just get to the tutoring stuff."

Castiel tilted his head to the side and watched Dean, a bit confused, but he said nothing. "Hm. Okay," he said as he began to walk to the black couch, not checking to see if Dean was following. 

Dean followed Castiel to the couch and sat down beside him before setting his textbooks on the small table in front of them. 

"So, let's take a look at your homework, shall we?" Castiel said, arching an eyebrow at Dean as he silently handed over the stack of papers he'd received as homework that day.

***

They ended up working for about forty-five minutes before Dean's stomach reminded him that he hadn't eaten since lunchtime. 

Castiel stopped mid-sentence and gave Dean an amused look. "Hungry, are we?" 

Dean shrugged and blushed, cursing himself. "I guess."

Castiel smiled. "There's some cheese and crackers on the counter in the kitchen. Help yourself, then come back so we can finish these last few problems before you leave."

Dean nodded, still embarrassed as he stood up and walked over to the kitchen. He got a napkin and put a couple cheese cubes and crackers on it before heading back to the couch and taking his seat next to Castiel. He ate the food while they worked on the last four equations. 

***

By the time six o'clock came around, they'd already finished all of Dean's homework and studied for an upcoming test. As much as Dean hated to admit it, he did feel more comfortable with the topic. Sure, the guy was kinda annoying, but he was a genius too.

Dean had gathered all of his work and books and held the stack in both arms as he walked to the door with Castiel. 

"Uh, thanks," Dean muttered as the older man opened the door for him, giving him a small smile as he stepped out of the apartment.

"I'll see you on Wednesday, Dean," was all Castiel said before closing the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little chapter. The next one will be longer. :)

When Dean got home that evening, he walked inside to see Sam sitting at the kitchen table, doing homework. Dean chuckled and walked over to him, dropping his books and work on the table before ruffling Sam's hair. 

Sam swatted his hand away and gave Dean his best bitchface. "Stop it," he complained, trying to smooth his hair back into place. 

Dean rolled his eyes and sat beside Sam at the table, pushing his own chair back so he could rest his feet on the surface. "Hey, I'm just trying to make you look better," he teased, laughing softly to himself.

Sam sighed in frustration and ignored Dean, focusing too hard on his work. "You're in a good mood," he said emotionlessly, eyes still fixed on his work as his pencil moved rapidly on the paper. 

Dean furrowed his brow and ran his fingers through his hair. "What? No I'm not. I'm just normal." Was he in a good mood? He didn't know why he would be, aside from the fact that he probably wouldn't fail his next math test. If he was in a good mood, it definitely didn't have anything to do with Castiel himself. Definitely. 

Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes as he continued to work. "Yeah, you are." He paused and set his pencil down momentarily so he could turn his head and arch an eyebrow at his older brother. "You must've enjoyed your tutoring." 

Dean blushed and stood up, hiding his face subtly by turning and walking in the opposite direction of Sam, towards the refrigerator. "Shut up," he said, opening up the fridge and peering inside. "Where's Dad?" he asked once his face had gone back to its normal complexion. He closed the fridge and straightened up, turning to face Sam and raise both eyebrows.

Sam shrugged as he finished his work and reached down to grab his bookbag before opening it and shoving the papers inside. "I don't know. He left about twenty minutes after you did." 

Dean frowned, furrowing his brow in concern. "He left you here alone?" Dean sometimes forgot that Sam wasn't a little toddler anymore. To him, Sam would always be his little baby brother. 

Sam rolled his eyes. "I'm thirteen, Dean. I don't need someone to look after me anymore." 

Dean nodded and bit back a laugh. "Of course, you're practically an adult," he teased, chuckling to himself before he got serious again. "Do you know where he went?" He asked, leaning his back against the counter and crossing his legs at the ankles. 

Sam shook his head. "How am I supposed to know? You know Dad never talks to me," he said sullenly and sadly, staring down into his lap and picking at the lint on his jeans. 

Dean sighed. "Well, he can stay gone for all I care," he said, turning around to hide the worry that was clearly etched into his face. When his father left like this, he usually came back drunk and angry. And that never meant anything good. Dean cleared his throat and walked over to the pantry, opening it and pulling out a box of dry spaghetti noodles. "Spaghetti and meatballs sound good for dinner?" he asked Sam, turning around and holding the box up to show him. 

"Yeah, that's great," Sam said as he stood up and began to walk over to the living room. "I'll be in here. There's a documentary on the History channel about the discovery of fossils." 

Dean laughed softly and shook his head, "You nerd," he teased as he watched his brother walk into the living room and turn on the television. Dean turned back around and began to cook with a small sigh, saying a silent prayer that when their father returned, he would be sober.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been gone for so long and I apologize!! To make up for it, I'll write a gift fic to first commenter. It can be any pairing you want as long as its Supernatural. Smut, fluff, angst....it's up to you. :)

The next morning, Dean awoke to the feeling of a thin hand shaking his shoulder not too gently. He grumbled and closed his eyes again, turning over to his stomach and burying his face in the soft pillow. It was still too early for his brain to function properly, so he assumed that whoever was trying to wake him up would eventually go away. He didn't. After a few seconds, Dean's head cleared enough so that he could hear a frantic voice trying to reach through his sleep-clouded mind. 

"Dean," the voice said, the voice which Dean would soon identify as Sam. "Dean. Dean, wake up." 

Dean groaned into the soft pillow and flipped over onto his back, rubbing his eyes before opening them halfway and focusing on Sam. "What?" he asked, voice thick with sleep.

"Do you know what time it is?" Sam asked, looking at Dean as if he was a child. When Dean shrugged and began to close his eyes again, Sam sighed in frustration and walked over the lights, flicking them on. Dean threw an arm over his face to block the light from streaming in, but Sam walked back over and pushed his arm away before shoving his wrist in Dean's face. "It's eight o'clock," he said impatiently, tapping at the screen of his watch with his free hand. "School starts in fifteen minutes." 

"Shit," Dean muttered, before hurriedly getting out of bed and stretching briefly before moving to his closet and throwing open the doors so he could pick out his clothes. Sam followed him around, muttering on about how he had a history test that morning and couldn't be late, how Dean never took him to school on time, and how he couldn't wait until he got his license so he could take himself to school.

"And," Sam added as Dean pulled a gray t-shirt and a pair of jeans out of his closet, "You won't have any time to make breakfast, so I won't get to eat until lunch."

Dean rolled his eyes and pulled an army-green leather jacket out as well before turning and giving Sam an exasperated look. "Who said I'm in charge of cooking? Go make your own damn breakfast," he grumbled before walking over to his bedroom door and opening it, hoping Sam would take the hint and leave. 

"You've always been in charge of cooking. I don't know how," Sam whined, standing in the doorway and glaring at Dean. 

Dean was about tired of Sam's bitchy teenage angst. He was constantly griping about something, and Dean knew that it was just a phase and he would grow out of it, but it still bothered him. Sam was starting to want to go his own way and do his own thing. He used to follow his big brother everywhere, used to want to do everything he did and be just like him. Dean used to be Sam's role model, and now Dean felt like everything he did annoyed Sam. He missed the days when Sam would copy his every move, he missed those chubby cheeks and cute dimples when he smiled. Now all he got was a lanky teenager whose limbs were too long for his body and whose face was constantly bitchy. Dean knew it would pass. He did. But that didn't keep him from being unsettled. "Well it's about time you learn," Dean said, nodding at Sam before placing a hand flat on his chest and pushing him into the hallway. He closed the door quickly to avoid seeing the eye roll or grumble that he was sure to get. 

Dean sighed and shook his head as he began to pull his pajamas off so he could get dressed for the day. He had better things to worry about. Like if he would get a good grade on the math homework he'd worked on with Castiel the night before, and if Dad was going to come back anytime soon. After a few minutes, Dean was dressed, and he went to the bathroom to quickly brush his teeth and try to do something with his hair. He put on a spritz of cologne before looking at his reflection in the mirror and flashing a quick grin at himself and heading downstairs to the kitchen. 

He stopped when he smelled something cooking. Or rather- something burning. 

He slowly walked into the kitchen to see Sam standing over the stove, attempting to make a grilled cheese sandwich. Dean sighed a little, feeling his heart soften just a bit. Poor kid really did try. That was Sam for you. And that was one thing that Dean unfortunately failed to realize most of the time. As annoying as Sam could get, in the end, he still looked to Dean for approval. 

Dean walked over and stood behind Sam, looking at the black piece of toast burning in the pan. "Looks good," he joked, giving Sam a half-smile. They didn't apologize in his family, but he knew his eyes said everything. He shouldn't have gotten that upset with Sam. He really /didn't/ know how to cook, and that wasn't his fault. 

"Yeah, right," Sam snorted, sighing as he looked at the thing in the pan. 

Dean felt bad. If he would have woken up on time, he would've had time to make breakfast, and this whole scene could have been avoided. 

"Tell you what," Dean said, grabbing his bag from the kitchen table and heading towards the door, "There's a café on the way to school. We'll stop there and I'll buy you somethin'." 

"Thanks Dean," Sam said, still sounding somewhat defeated as he tossed the ruined sandwich in the trash can and grabbed his own bag, meeting Dean at the door. 

"Mhm," Dean replied, giving his little brother a quick smile before grabbing the keys and stepping outside, Sam following close behind. 

***

Dean felt off the whole day. Maybe it was because of his fiasco with Sam that morning, or maybe it was the fact that he had to have cafeteria food for lunch because he didn't wake up early enough to pack his own. Dean appreciated good food. When he was little, he watched his mom cook and he helped out sometimes, and after she was gone, Ellen (who was like an aunt to him) taught him the magic of the kitchen. So when Dean had to eat something sub-par, he was never satisfied. 

By the time he got to math class, he just wanted to be home. He suffered his way through the class, trying to concentrate and take some notes so he wouldn't be completely clueless and embarrass himself when he worked with Castiel the next day. When the class finally ended, and the students began to file out, Mr. Henriksen called after them that there would be a test on Friday over what they'd been learning. Dean's stomach lurched. This test could be a deal breaker for him. Mr. Henricksen had said that if his grades didn't pick up with the tutoring, then Dean would be put in remedial classes. And as much as Dean hated having Castiel tutor him, it wouldn't be half as bad as the embarrassment of remedial classes. 

"Dean, come here for a moment," Mr. Henriksen said just as Dean got one toe out of the door. 

Dean sighed and turned around, already knowing that his teacher wanted to know how the tutoring had gone last night. Dean walked back over to the desk where Mr. Henriksen was sitting, and he stood in front of it and raised his eyebrows. "Yes?"

"How did it go?" Mr. Henriksen asked, sitting up straight in his chair and looking at Dean intently. 

Dean still didn't understand. Why did all these people even /care/ about how he did in school? Dean wasn't Sam, it wasn't like he was going on to do great things. He would probably end up in a rut, stuck in some mediocre office job, or driving a bus or something like that. "Fine," Dean answered, putting on his most believable smile.

Mr. Henriksen bought it. He smiled in return. "Good. Castiel is a nice boy, isn't he? And very smart." 

Dean nodded, agreeing just so he could get out of there faster. "He sure is."

Mr. Henriksen nodded in content. "Alright, that's all. I just wanted to see how things were going."

"Thanks for checking in," Dean said before hurrying out of the classroom and making his way to his car. He drove home quickly and wasn't surprised to see the driveway still empty. Dad still wasn't home. 

Dean sighed and parked the car, walking inside and nodding a hello at Sam, who was sitting at his spot at the kitchen table, slaving over his homework as usual. 

"How was school?" Sam asked, not looking up from his work. 

"Good," Dean answered, walking over to the pantry and pulling out a bag of chips. He didn't need to ask how Sam's school day was, because he knew what the answer would be. Sam loved school. "Have you heard from Dad?" Dean asked cautiously, knowing he was treading on dangerous territory. Sam and John's relationship wasn't the best. 

Sam's pencil stilled briefly on his paper before it started up again. "Nope," he said shortly.

Dean detected the coldness of his voice, and he sighed quietly to himself. "Alright," he said, dropping his bag on the floor and making his way to the stairs, chips in hand. "I'll be in my room, and I'll come down to make dinner in like...a couple hours. Call me if you need me." 

Dean barely registered Sam's mumbled, "Uh huh," before he took the stairs two at a time and went into his room. 

Once inside, he turned on his favorite ACDC album and laid back on his bed, closing his eyes and trying to clear all the stress in his head.


	6. Chapter 6

Wednesday was a blur. Dean woke up on time, thanks to Sam coming in and waking him so he wouldn't miss his alarm. Looks like Dean wasn't the only one who wanted to avoid another argument with Sam. Dean knew they had to cherish all their time together, because the day would come when they wouldn't be living in the same house, and they wouldn't see each other on a daily basis. 

Dean made a huge breakfast of waffles, bacon, and eggs to make up for having to eat shitty coffee shop food the day before, and he made sure that he packed good lunches for both himself and for his little brother.

School went by pretty quickly. Dean got a 'C' on his English essay on teenagers and social media. The teacher had said that they could write whatever opinion they held, and Dean's opinion was that there was nothing wrong with social media. Maybe that's why he got the grade he did. It didn't bother him too much though. Dean was a good writer, and he knew that he could bring his grade up. English was his favorite subject. 

Math was awful, as usual. Dean suffered through the lesson, and his brain literally /hurt/ by the end of it. They were beginning to review for the test on Friday, and Dean was struggling to grasp the topic. The only part he understood was what he worked on with Castiel. And despite all his intuition screaming 'No,' Dean found himself looking forward to going to Castiel's that night. Not to see Cas, of course. Just to study. Dean needed to get a better grasp on this topic if he had any chance of getting higher than a 'D' on Friday's test. 

After school ended and Dean got home, he walked in to see Sam sitting at his usual spot at the kitchen table. But something was different. Sam looked distressed, to say the least. His forehead was scrunched up, chin resting in his hand, and he was reading a single sheet of notebook paper. A pencil was resting to the side absently, as if Sam had just finished writing and was now looking over it. 

Dean frowned and walked inside, dropping his bag and kicking his shoes off at the door. "Everything okay, Sammy?" he asked, furrowing his brow in concern as he walked over to Sam to see what he was writing. 

"Everything's fine!" Sam said quickly when he registered that Dean was looking over his shoulder. He turned the paper over and placed his palm over it. 

"What're you writing, Sam?" Dean asked, wondering why Sam was being so secretive about this damn paper. 

"Nothing. It's for school," Sam said, keeping his hand secured onto the flimsy sheet.

"Okay.." Dean muttered as he began to walk away. As soon as Sam let his guard down and removed his hand, Dean ran back over and snatched the letter up.

"Dean! Cut it out!" Sam squealed, jumping up to try and reach the paper. Sam was tall for his age, but at thirteen, he still wasn't as tall as Dean. Not yet, anyway. 

Dean ignored his protests and held the paper just out of reach, tilting his head up so he could read it. 

'Dear Jessica,' the letter started.

Dean felt a wide grin spread across his face. "Ooh...Sammy, who's Jessica?" Dean teased, laughing at Sam's mortified expression. 

"She's no one!" Sam said desperately, trying to reach the paper.

Dean laughed and kept reading. 

'I don't know if you know me, but I sit behind you in History and I think you're very pretty.'

"Aww.." Dean said, reaching down with his free hand to ruffle Sam's hair. "Sammy's got a crush." 

Sam's face heated up and he shot Dean a glare. 

"Fine, fine. Take it," Dean relented, chuckling as he handed Sam the paper again. 

"I probably won't give it to her anyway," Sam grumbled as he snatched the paper away and sat back down.

"Why not?" Dean asked, sitting beside Sam and raising his eyebrows. 

"She doesn't even know who I am, Dean. She won't like me." Sam frowned.

"What? Of course she'll like you," Dean said with a reassuring smile. "You're tall with cute puppy dog eyes and floppy hair. She would be stupid not to like you." 

"You think so?" Sam asked hopefully.

"Yeah," Dean said with a grin, standing up and walking into the kitchen to get himself something to eat before he had to go to Castiel's.

By the time he reached Castiel's apartment, Dean was in a pretty good mood. He knocked three times before Castiel opened the door. 

"Hello, Dean. Come in," Castiel said, stepping aside and holding the door open so Dean could step inside. 

"Thanks," Dean said as he entered, making his way over to the black couch with a little skip in his step. Dean loved Sam more than anything, and as annoying as his little brother could get, Sam never failed to cheer Dean up, even if he wasn't trying to. 

"You're in a good mood," Castiel observed with a small, bemused smile.

"Am I?" Dean said, still grinning. "I found out that Sammy has a crush, and he was writing a little note to her." He chuckled at the memory.

"Your brother Sam?" Castiel asked, still looking at Dean as if he were a puzzle Cas wanted to solve. 

"Yeah," Dean said before his smile froze on his face. Why was he telling Castiel all this? Castiel was his tutor, not his friend. He didn't care about Dean beyond tutoring, and he was doing that for money. 

"Everything okay?" Castiel asked, furrowing his brow slightly when Dean froze. 

"Yup," Dean said, pulling his classwork out of his bag and quickly changing the subject. "I have a few questions about what we went over today." 

Castiel stared at Dean for a few moments longer, his deep blue eyes boring into Dean's skull, until he finally looked away and pulled out a pencil. "Alright, show me what you're having trouble with." 

Dean nodded and began to explain, but he couldn't help but wonder what had compelled him to tell Cas about Sam. This was only their second session, and Dean was opening up to him more than people he's known for years. And he didn't like it.


	7. Chapter 7

Most nights after dinner, Sam and Dean would lounge on the couch and watch a movie together. On the nights when John was in one of his drunk fits, Dean would take Sam out for ice cream. It was just something that they did to stay connected to each other. They'd done it most every night since Mary died, and it was just part of their regular routine. So when Sam suggested a movie to watch, it didn't catch Dean by surprise. 

"Can we watch 'The Breakfast Club' tonight?" Sam asked as he handed the last clean plate to Dean. 

Dean frowned a little and took the dish, drying it off before putting it away in one of the cabinets. He knew they couldn't watch a movie that night. He had to study for the math test the following day, and he couldn't risk failing. "Sorry Sammy," Dean started, throwing away the paper towel and then turning to face his little brother. "We can't-" 

Sam cut him off with an obnoxiously loud sigh and an eye roll. "You said I could watch it when I turned thirteen, and I've been thirteen for a while now. Please? I won't tell Dad." 

Dean sighed and shook his head. "No. I mean we can't watch a movie tonight. I have to study." 

Sam's frown deepened and he looked down at his feet for a few moments before glancing back up at Dean. "If you don't want to hang out with me, just say so. Don't make up some lie about having to study. You don't study, Dean." 

Dean was a little offended, but he knew that there was truth in Sam's statement. It /was/ abnormal for Dean to study, but he didn't want Sam to think that he was doing this to avoid hanging out with his little brother. "I have a math test tomorrow, and I really need a good grade," Dean replied, trying to sound sincere. 

"Alright," Sam nodded with a small sigh. "Just promise we'll watch it tomorrow?" 

"Promise," Dean said with a smile, stepping beside Sam and clapping him on the shoulder before making his way to the stairs and up to his room. 

*** 

After a while of trying to study, Dean realized that he was getting nowhere. It was a lot more difficult for him to study when he didn't have his own personal genius sitting next to him and walking him through each problem. 

In a surge of frustration and impulsivity, Dean pulled out his phone and sent a text to Castiel. 

'Hey. -DW' 

'Dean? -CN' 

Shit. Dean wanted to punch himself. What possessed him to do that? He was so stupid. He almost just wanted to back out of it and tell Castiel he'd texted a wrong number, but he didn't to make things any more awkward than they already were. Also, he still needed help with his math. So he might as well get it while he had the chance. 

'Yeah, it's me. -DW' 

'Is everything okay? -CN' 

'I'm trying to study for the test tomorrow and I'm about to rip my hair out. -DW' 

Castiel didn't reply for a while, and Dean began to get nervous. Had he crossed some invisible line by doing this? Castiel wasn't getting paid to help Dean outside of the tutoring sessions. This was a bad idea. Dean had an apology typed out and was about to just give up on the work, when he received another text. Dean scrambled to grab his phone. 

'Would you like to come over? I know it's late, but I can't help you very well over the phone. -CN' 

Dean read that text over and over without realizing what he was doing. He hadn't been expecting this. Castiel knew that he was only getting paid for every other day, so why was he offering to do this? He couldn't actually...care about Dean, could he? 

Dean's fingers hovered over his phone screen for a few minutes before he finally managed to type out a reply. As much as he wanted to go over to Castiel's, he knew he couldn't. He didn't like leaving Sam alone late at night. 

'Thanks for the offer...but I can't. I have to look after Sam. -DW' 

Dean sighed audibly as he sent that text. He would just have to hope for the best and wing it on the test the next day. A few moments passed before Dean received another message. 

'Well, I could come over to your house and help you, if that's okay with you and your parents. -CN' 

'I really want you to pass tomorrow, Dean. -CN' 

Dean's eyes widened and his heart began racing. It wouldn't hurt to have Castiel over, right? John was still missing, and Dean knew that Sam couldn't care less. He typed out a hasty reply. 

'Wow, okay. That'd be great. Thanks. Do you have my address? -DW' 

'Yes. Victor gave it to me when we began this arrangement. And it's no trouble, Dean. Really. It's not like I have anything better to do. -CN' 

Dean didn't know what to make of that last text. Castiel hadn't come off as a party person, but he didn't seem like the kind of guy who had nothing better to do than to drive almost twenty minutes to a highschooler's house and tutor him for no pay just to make sure he passed a math test. 

Dean decided to just play it safe and he didn't reply, instead trying to slow his heart rate. Dean didn't want Castiel to think less of him after seeing his house. Castiel lived in a neat, swanky apartment which smelled like Febreeze and always felt cool and clean. It was the complete opposite of the Winchester's home, complete with an overgrown lawn, messy interior, and stuffy rooms (Because John hadn't paid the bill for air conditioning that month). 

Dean took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Castiel didn't seem like the type to judge. 

About twenty minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Sam went to open it. "Hello?" He asked, narrowing his eyes slightly. 

"Hello. Is Dean here?" Castiel asked, raising his eyebrows at Sam. 

"Uh, yeah. Come in," Sam said. As soon as Castiel was inside, Sam ran upstairs to Dean's room and barged in. "Dean. There's a man downstairs asking for you." 

Dean knew why Sam was acting so confused. Dean never had friends over. "Thanks," Dean said, standing up and making his way to the door. 

"Who is he?" Sam asked, following Dean down the hallway and to the staircase. 

"My tutor," Dean said simply. Sam could be like a child sometimes with all the questions he asked. 

"Why is he here?" Sam asked, still right on Dean's heels as they began to walk downstairs. 

"To tutor me, dumbass," Dean said with a chuckle, shaking his head. 

"What's his name?" He asked as they reached the bottom of the stairs. 

"Castiel," Dean replied as he walked into the living room, where Castiel was casually sitting on the couch. 

"Hello Dean," Castiel said, standing up with a warm smile and facing Dean and Sam. 

"Hey Cas. Thanks for coming," Dean said, a slight blush covering his freckled cheeks. "Uh, this is Sam," Dean added, gesturing to his little brother. 

"Hello Sam," Castiel greeted, turning to look at the younger Winchester. "I've heard a lot about you. Apparently, you're quite the genius." He smiled softly. 

Sam grinned at that. "Nice to meet you, Castiel," he said before beginning to walk away. "I'll be in my room, Dean," Sam added, heading up the stairs. 

Dean chuckled and sat down on the couch, gesturing for Castiel to sit beside him. "I really don't know how to thank you for this..." He said honestly, wanting Castiel to understand how grateful he was. 

Castiel waved it away. "You don't have to." He gave Dean a smile, holding his gaze for a long moment before looking away and clearing his throat awkwardly. "So, what do you need help with?" He asked, turning his attention to the papers Dean had brought down with him. 

"Everything," Dean said with a sigh as he began to explain, trying to ignore the butterflies he got in his stomach at the feeling of Castiel's eyes glued to his. Dean didn't approve of those butterflies. They were confusing him, and he wanted them gone. 

*** 

It was nearly three hours before Dean finally felt comfortable with the topic. It was almost eleven o'clock, and Dean still couldn't believe that Castiel had stayed this late just to help him out. 

He stood up and walked to the door with Cas, stopping before he opened it. "Hey, I- uh, really appreciate this," Dean said, smiling a little. 

Castiel nodded. "It was my pleasure, Dean." 

"Well, thanks again," Dean said with another smile before opening the door for Castiel. 

"I'll see you tomorrow. I know you'll do great on the test," Castiel added as he stepped out. "Bye, Dean." 

"Bye," Dean said, watching Castiel walk to his car and feeling his face heat up again when he realized he was staring. He swallowed hard and slammed the door, fisting his hands in his hair as he made his way upstairs. What the hell was going on? Why was he acting like this around Castiel? Why was he /feeling/ this way? Dean didn't like it. He didn't like not being able to understand his own feelings. 

Dean peeked in Sam's room on the way to his own, and sighed at the sight of him. Sam was fast asleep, snoring quietly and curled up under the covers. Dean felt jealously bubbling up inside. Sam was so carefree and Dean envied that. He really envied that. Dean knew it was awful for him to be jealous of his little brother, but he couldn't help it.

Dean closed Sam's door quietly and took a deep breath before walking to his own room and quickly changing into his pajamas and brushing his teeth before laying down in bed and staring up at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep because of all the thoughts keeping his mind awake.


	8. Chapter 8

When Dean woke up the next morning, he was ready. He made a good breakfast, packed a healthy lunch, and tried not to freak out as he was driving himself and Sam to school. Dean wasn't trying to become overconfident, but he just knew that he was going to do great on the test. He felt like he could teach the lesson if given the opportunity. It was still amazing to Dean how Castiel was able to help him in only three hours the night before. Cas would be an amazing teacher. Dean suddenly wondered what Castiel's major was. He would have to remember to ask when he got to Castiel's apartment that night.

"Good luck on your test today," Sam said as Dean dropped him off in front of the middleschool. 

"Thanks Sammy," Dean said with a wide grin, reaching over to ruffle his little brother's hair. Sam dodged Dean's hand, avoiding the ruffling as he slung his bag over one shoulder and got out of the car, closing the door. 

Dean chuckled to himself and shook his head as he began driving to the highschool. He was going to ace this test. 

***

Dean felt extremely confident all day. He had a skip in his step and a smile on his face through all his classes, and even his friends could tell that something was different. It's not like Dean was usually sad at school, but he wasn't usually happy either. So this was different. 

At lunch that day, Dean was sitting by his two good friends, Charlie and Benny. Dean considered them his "best" friends, even though they didn't know much about him. They knew he had a little brother named Sam, they knew that his mom was deceased, and they knew about some of his hobbies and the things he liked. They didn't know that Dean's dad was an alcoholic, that Dean was obsessed with a sexy male television doctor, and they didn't know about Castiel. Dean was okay with keeping some things secret. 

"Why are you so happy?" Charlie asked, narrowing her eyes at Dean before slurping down a spoonful of strawberry jello. Charlie had been Dean's first friend in middleschool. Dean had lived in Lawrence his whole life, but he ended up going to a middleschool that was different from where all his friends from elementary school were going. Charlie was the one who had shown him to all his classes and given him the scoop on which girls were sluts and which guys were douchebags. She'd told him who to avoid and which teachers were nice. So basically, she was amazing. 

"Do I have to have a reason to be happy?" Dean replied, raising an eyebrow and smirking at Charlie as he took another bite of his sandwich. 

Charlie frowned. "Well, you usually go about your day without showing much emotion. So when you smile at your sandwich while you eat-" She noted, gesturing to how Dean had a permanent smile glued to his face, "I know something's up." Charlie paused and thought for a moment. "You're a little bit like Spock-" 

Dean cut her off by waving his hand vaguely. "Spare us." He chuckled to himself and shrugged. "I don't know," He smiled to himself. Dean knew he was happy because he was positive that he was going to do very well on his math test that day, so he might as well tell them the truth. "I guess I'm just excited for math today," He said casually, taking a sip of his water. 

Benny gave Dean a half-smile. It wasn't a secret that Dean hated math class. In fact, he complained about it nearly every day. "Sure," He said, rolling his blue eyes. "Did something happen with Lisa? You got a girlfriend, Dean?" Benny asked, raising both eyebrows. He had a slight Louisiana drawl that made his speech sound slow and smooth. Benny and Dean had met about a week after Dean started highschool. They were paired together for a project, and their friendship took off after that. 

Charlie's eyes widened. "Ohmygosh that's it! You and Lisa worked things out, didn't you?" She asked excitedly, smiling widely at Dean, then at Benny, then back at Dean.

Dean laughed softly and shook his head. "No, I didn't work things out with Lisa. And I don't want to." Dean and his ex-girlfriend Lisa had broken up about a month prior. It was just a mutual agreement. Not to mention that Dean might not have been as attracted to her as when they first started going out. That didn't mean anything though. Of course. 

"Then what is it?" Benny asked, resting an elbow on the cafeteria table.

"I told you. I'm just excited for math," Dean said, chuckling. 

"Asshole," Charlie scowled and pouted, elbowing Dean in the side and causing him to wince. 

"It's the truth," Dean said, shrugging and rubbing his side. 

***

By the time math class finally came around, Dean was more than ready. He had studied a little more after lunch, and when he had some down time in his other classes. He walked to his desk and took a seat, saying a quick prayer to whatever God was up there, before taking a deep breath and tapping his fingers on the desk impatiently. He wanted to take this test while it was all still fresh in his mind. 

Dean felt his heart rate increase as Mr. Henriksen walked into the classroom and grabbed a thick stack of papers off of his own desk. 

"I hope you all studied," The teacher said as he began to hand out the tests. "This test won't be easy. It was designed to challenge you and make sure you've been paying attention in class. Good luck," He said as he continued to hand out the tests. "You may begin," Mr. Henriksen added when the last of the tests had been distributed. 

Dean swallowed hard and picked up his pencil with shaky hands as he looked at the first problem. He closed his eyes, trying not to freak out as he did his best to recall what he and Castiel had gone over the night before. Dean opened his eyes and bit his lip, staring down at the test anxiously. Maybe he hadn't been as well-prepared as he'd hoped.

Dean worked painfully through each problem, and there were times when he felt like pulling his hair out. 

About forty-five minutes after the test began, Mr. Henriksen stood up and clapped his hands once. "Alright class, please bring your tests to the front, and then you are dismissed." 

Dean felt his face pale and his heart stopped. He still had three more questions. Time went by fast. "Damn it," He muttered to himself as he scribbled out rushed answers for the last three without doing more than glancing at the actual problem. He definitely got those three wrong, at least. 

Dean was the last one to turn his test in, and when he handed it to Mr. Henriksen, the teacher raised both eyebrows at him in question. "How'd it go?" 

Dean shrugged, trying not to show that the test had ripped him apart. "It wasn't easy," He said, swallowing hard and nodding.

Mr. Henriksen nodded and took Dean's test, glancing over it and furrowing his brow before looking back up at his student. "You're seeing Castiel tonight, right?" 

"Yeah," Dean said, nodding. 

"Would you like me to grade this now so you two can look over it together?" The teacher asked, raising his eyebrows at Dean. "It will only take a minute." 

"Sure," Dean said, sounding much much more confident than he felt. Dean balled his hands into fists and walked back to his desk, trying not to stare at Mr. Henriksen and study every one of his facial expressions, trying to riddle out what each one could mean. 

After about ten minutes, Mr. Henriksen motioned for Dean with a single finger. An ominous gesture, Dean thought. 

"You did very well, Mr. Winchester," Mr. Henriksen said with a smile, handing Dean his graded test. 

"Holy shit..." Dean muttered to himself when he saw the grade, an eighty-four percent. A 'B.' 

"Language," The teacher warned, though he was smiling. 

"Sorry," Dean mumbled absently, before shaking his head and trying to hand the test back. "I think you might have made a mistake."

Mr. Henriksen chuckled and shook his head. "Nope, I had an answer sheet. That's your grade, Dean. Now go home and show your parents. They'll be proud of you." 

"Thanks," Dean said, still in awe as he grabbed his bag and headed out to the car. He wished his dad was around so he could show him, but Castiel and Sam would have to do. 

***

When Dean got home, Sam was at his usual spot at the kitchen table working, but he looked up when Dean entered. "So?" 

"So what?" Dean asked, dropping his bag at the door and humming to himself, trying to hide his smile. 

"The test. How do you think you did?" Sam asked, raising both eyebrows at Dean. 

"I thought it was really hard," Dean said.

"Oh..." Sam replied, frowning to himself. 

"But...I did end up pulling a B," Dean said proudly, pulling his test out and showing it to Sam.

"Dean, that's great!" Sam exclaimed, standing up so he could get a better look at the test. "I knew you would do well."

"Thanks," Dean said with a smile, placing the test on the counter and stepping into the kitchen so he could get a snack. "Hey, whatever happened with you and that Jessica girl?" He asked, getting a slice of leftover pizza from the fridge and grabbing a plate so he could put it in the microwave.

Sam shrugged, moving to sit back down at the table. "She said she would think about it."

"Yikes..." Dean muttered under his breath so Sam couldn't hear. 

"She's probably going to talk to her friends about it," Sam continued. 

"Do her friends think you're cool?" Dean asked, not wanting Sam to lose hope. 

"I don't know. Maybe," Sam replied, focused on his homework. 

"Then you'll be fine," Dean said reassuringly, taking his pizza out of the microwave and going to sit beside Sam at the table. 

***

When Dean arrived at Castiel's that night, test in hand, he was excited. He hoped Castiel would be proud of him. Because Dean was certainly proud of himself. That was the best grade he'd gotten in math in quite some time. 

"Hello Dean. Come in," Castiel greeted with a small smile as he opened the door and let Dean in. 

"Hey," Dean replied as he stepped inside and made his way to the black couch. 

"How was your day?" Castiel asked, raising his eyebrows at the piece of paper in Dean's hand as he sat down beside Dean. 

"Awesome. Look," Dean said with a smile, waving his test in front of Castiel's face. 

Castiel chuckled and grabbed Dean's wrist to keep him from moving the test around so he could actually look at it. His eyes widened when he saw the grade, and he smiled widely at Dean, still not letting go of his wrist. "This is wonderful," He said happily, still grinning. 

"I know. I'm proud of myself," Dean said with a smile, trying not to notice how Castiel still hadn't let go. It's not like it bothered Dean or anything. 

"You should be," Castiel said, looking over the test before catching Dean's eye. "I'm proud of you too," He added. 

Dean replied with a smile, finally breaking eye contact when he realized how long he'd been staring into those big, ocean-like eyes.

Castiel must've had the same realization, because he blushed and let go of Dean's wrist, biting his lip and taking a deep breath. "How about we take a look at what you missed?" 

***

About an hour later, Dean remembered his question for Castiel. "Hey Cas?" He asked, interrupting Castiel's explanation of what Dean had done wrong on a certain problem.

"Yes?" Castiel asked, looking up from the test and raising his eyebrows at Dean. 

"What's your major?" Dean asked curiously, furrowing his brow slightly.

"Business," Castiel said without much emotion. 

"Really? Hm. I wasn't expecting that," Dean said, shrugging. 

"Well, it's what my family wanted me to do," Castiel said, turning his attention back to the test. 

"So?" Dean said, furrowing his brow even more and frowning a little. 

"So I wanted to make them proud," Castiel answered sharply. 

"So you're going to suffer through school with a major you don't enjoy, and then go into a job you don't enjoy just to make your family proud?" Dean asked, narrowing his eyes slightly. "Sounds pretty crappy to me." 

Castiel took a deep breath and ignored Dean's statement, instead returning to explaining the missed answers on the test. 

***

After Dean got home and ate dinner, he and Sam sat down on the couch to watch 'The Breakfast Club.' 

"You ready for this, Sammy? One of the best movies ever," Dean asked with a grin as he turned on the television and started the movie. 

"Yup," Sam said with a smile, hurrying into the living room with a bowl of popcorn in his hands as he took a seat next to his big brother.

***

When the movie ended, and the final credits began to roll, Dean looked at Sam with a raised eyebrow and a smile. "What did you think?" 

"That movie made absolutely no sense. I don't know why it's so popular," Sam said, shaking his head, obviously not impressed. 

"What? That movie is amazing. You're just a bitch," Dean said with a chuckle, punching Sam's shoulder.

"Well you're a jerk," Sam rebuked, grinning at Dean and throwing a pillow at him before standing up and taking the empty popcorn bowl to the kitchen. He then made his way to the stairs. "Night Dean," He said on his way up, giving Dean a smile. 

"Goodnight Sammy," Dean replied with a grin, flicking the television off and standing up to go upstairs as well.


	9. Chapter 9

Two weeks after Dean's math test, John came back. Over the couple weeks, Dean felt like he'd grown a little closer to Castiel. He wouldn't call him a friend yet, but they were definitely more than just acquaintances at this point. On the days when Dean didn't have much homework, he listened to Castiel talk about his family. Despite his obvious distress at how his family functioned, Castiel still loved to talk about them. He made it very clear to Dean that in the Novak family, they stuck together. They were close-knit and very loyal to each other. Dean also learned that that's why Castiel felt obligated to go into business, when he'd much rather be an author. He told Dean about his father, the pastor, and his mother, who ran a daycare. His family was extremely religious. Castiel spoke of how difficult it was growing up in a household like that. There was no room for freedom or rebellion. 

Castiel did most of the talking during their sessions, but on a few occasions, he would ask Dean about his friends at school, about Sam, and his parents. Dean told Castiel about Benny and Charlie, he gushed over Sam, but he always skipped over that last question. Only a few people knew his mother was dead, and Dean didn't need the world to pity him for something that happened years ago. Only Sam, Bobby, Ellen, and Jo knew about John's alcoholism and disappearances, and Dean was fine with keeping it that way. He was sick and tired of being "different." He just wanted to fit in. 

***

One Saturday evening, Sam and Dean were stretched out on the couch, a half eaten pizza on the table in front of them, and some mindless television on the screen. Dean hated to say it, but he had grown used to his father not being around. He missed him, sure. And he was worried. But he wasn't gonna tell anyone about it. He couldn't risk getting himself and Sam on Social Service's radar. Also, Dean was fine taking care of Sam on his own. He'd been doing it his whole life, so it wasn't really like much had changed. Dean remembered when Sam was three and he was seven, and he would have to make dinner, give Sam a bath, and tuck him into bed while Dad sat on the couch and guzzled a beer. It didn't bother him much then. He thought it was normal. He thought all big brothers took care of their baby brothers like that. 

When Dean heard someone fiddling with the door, trying to get in, he paused the television and instinctively stood up, moving so he was standing in front of Sam, shielding him from whoever it was. The Winchesters didn't get visitors, but Dad /had/ gotten into some trouble with a few guys from a bar once, and they'd decided to follow him home. Dean remembered peeking out of his bedroom, hearing the men yell at his father. He remembered being scared, and he remembered keeping one arm wrapped tightly around his little brother. 

"Stay right there," Dean said to Sam, furrowing his brow as he began to slowly walk towards the door. Dean kept a gun under his bed, but his room was all the way upstairs, and there just wasn't time. When Dean was within three feet of the door, it began to open. 

Dean set his jaw and prepared himself for whoever he was expecting to see, but his jaw dropped when he saw who it was. 

It was his father, John Winchester, reeking of alcohol and too many days without a shower, sloppy beard growing in and dark hair unruly and unkempt. 

"Dad?" Dean asked, - whispered, really - his voice cracking as he stared wide eyed at the man who hadn't been a part of his life for weeks. He couldn't form words. He didn't know what to say. Dean almost wished it had been someone with a bone to pick with John, because Dean was certainly not prepared for /this/.

"What are you doing here?" Sam spoke up, voice edged with anger and lanky arms crossed defensively. 

"What do you mean?" John asked, chuckling, the stench of alcohol fresh on his breath as he stepped inside and dropped his duffle by the door. "I live here." 

"Are you sure?" Sam asked, narrowing his eyes. He fists were clenched at his sides, and it seemed like he was just barely containing his anger at that moment. It wasn't often that Sam lost his temper, but when he did, it was never pretty. "Because it hasn't seemed like it these past few weeks." 

Once Dean's brain caught up with the rest of his body, he was able to comprehend what was going on. Dean knew that he should feel happy that his dad finally came home, but all he could feel was anger. Red-hot, fiery anger. He saw red behind his eyes and had to take a deep breath and count to ten to keep from exploding. Dean always tried to be a good son. He said 'yes sir' and always obeyed his father. But this...this was it. The last straw. Dad couldn't leave for three weeks, then waltz back in here drunk and just think that everything was going to go back to the way it used to be. 

Dean clenched his teeth and glanced at Sam, and he could see that his brother was on the same page as he was. If Dad was drunk enough, he would lash out. And Dean wouldn't let Sam get caught in that. Sam had only gotten hit once, when he was pissed at Dad and decided to ignore him. He was only nine then. Dean wouldn't allow that to happen again. You had to be careful around Dad when he was loopy, and Sam wasn't safe down there, especially with all the choice phrases he probably had cooking up in his head to say to his father. 

"Sam, go upstairs," Dean said, teeth grinding as he fixed his gaze on his red-faced little brother. 

"What? Dean, no," Sam argued, not understanding that Dean was trying to protect his ass.

"Sam." Dean closed his eyes for a brief moment, opening them again to look between his father, who had a small, strange smile on his face, and Sam, who looked ready to attack. "Just go. Please." 

Sam stood there for a moment longer before grumbling his way upstairs, but not before he'd picked up the box of pizza and thrown it at the wall. 

Once Sam was out of sight, Dean turned his attention to John. He had no idea what he was going to say, or what was going to happen, so he just asked the first question that came to mind. 

"Dad...what are you doing?" Dean asked, his calm voice sounding forced.

"What?" John asked, a little delayed. "I came home." 

Dean took in deep breaths through his nose, and out through his mouth. He wasn't going to lose his temper. "You're drunk," He said, still taking deep breaths. "You've been gone for three weeks, and now you just come back here like nothing's wrong. Why did you leave?" Dean said, raising his voice slightly. 

"I needed to take a week off," John slurred.

"From what?" Dean asked loudly, shaking his head and furrowing his brow. "You never go into work. Bobby sends money every month. What exactly were you taking a break from?" Dean could feel his composure crackling underneath him, and he wasn't going to make any attempt to salvage it. 

"It's hard being a dad," John said, blinking slowly and shrugging vaguely. "I have a lot on my plate. You don't understand." 

That was it. Dean's short fuse was burned up. So, he didn't understand. He didn't know what it was like to be a dad. Hell, Dean /raised/ Sam on his own. Dad didn't have a fucking clue what he was saying, and Dean was about to let him know. "Excuse me?" Dean asked, narrowing his eyes as if he couldn't believe what his dad just said. "I don't understand?" 

John shrugged again.

"You know what, Dad? Fuck you." Dean could feel his anger boiling up, and he was going to let it out. "I'm the one who takes Sammy to school. I'm the one who helps him with his homework. I'm the one who tells him when it's bedtime. I'm the one who makes breakfast, and lunch, and dinner. When Sam was a baby, I changed his diapers. I fed him. I washed him. I read him bedtime stories. I made sure he didn't get into things he wasn't supposed to get into. Where were you?" Dean asked, voice still level as he stared his father down. When he didn't get an answer, he blew up. 

"Where the hell were you, Dad?!" Dean yelled into his father's face, feeling his eyes start to well up from all the pent-up emotion he was getting rid of. 

"Don't talk to me that way, son," John warned, his breath rich with the smell of alcohol as he frowned at Dean. 

"Don't. Don't call me that," Dean said, taking a few steps back and shaking his head. "I never had someone to help me with my homework. I had to walk to school. I've been making my own meals for as long as I can remember. This isn't right," Dean said, mostly to himself, still shaking his head as tears began to fall. "This is not right," He repeated. "And maybe I'm selfish for saying this, but I'm sixteen, and I have more weight on my shoulders, and more responsibility than you've ever had." He wiped at his eyes. 

John opened his mouth to say something, but Dean cut him off. 

"I'm sixteen, Dad. Sixteen. Most guys my age are off going to parties, out on dates, and hanging out with their friends. You wanna know how many parties I've been to in highschool?" Dean asked, biting his lip. "None. I've been out on a grand total of two dates, and I only see my friends at school. Wanna know why?" Dean asked, the tears flowing freely now. 

"Dean, look-" John tried again.

"Because I have to raise my little brother," Dean finished, sniffing and rubbing at his eyes. "It shouldn't be like this. You're the dad. Not me."

"Dean, I appreciate you telling me how you feel, but I am your father," John said, his voice changing from sympathetic to angry in a matter of seconds. "And you will not speak to me that way." 

Dean saw his father raise his arm, and for a moment he thought he was going to slap him, but then John just placed a firm hand in the middle of Dean's chest and pushed him backwards, causing him to stumble. "You're self-centered and ungrateful. I'm disappointed," John slurred.

Once Dean caught his balance, he turned to glare at his father with red-rimmed eyes. "Screw you," Dean said before running upstairs and returning a few moments later, gripping Sam tightly by the forearm. 

"Where're you going?" John asked as Dean tugged Sam to the door. 

"Like you care," Sam said to his father, his voice filled with anger as he followed Dean to the door. 

"You boys aren't just gonna leave like that," John said, obviously mad and upset as he began to walk to the door as well. 

Sam and Dean reached the door first, and Dean hurried outside, dragging Sam along behind him as they ran to the car. 

"Boys!" Dean heard John call from the doorway once they were in the car. He just shook his head and started it up, driving aimlessly just to get away from there.

***

About ten minutes into the drive, Sam turned to look at Dean. "Are you alright?" He asked, swallowing nervously. 

"Yeah," Dean nodded, keeping his eyes on the road. 

"Where are we going?" 

"I-I don't know yet," Dean admitted, shaking his head. Ellen and Bobby both lived too far away, Charlie and Benny didn't know about Dean's father, and it was going to stay that way. That left just one person. The sheer thought of what he was about to do made Dean sick to his stomach, but he really didn't have another choice. He took a deep breath and continued to drive until he reached his destination. 

When they reached the apartment complex, Sam looked out the window and frowned. "Where are we?" He asked as he got out of the car. 

"This is where Cas lives," Dean said, voice quiet as he got out of the car as well and began to approach the building. "Just follow me." 

***

When they reached the door to Castiel's place, Dean almost turned around and changed his mind, but instead he swallowed his fear and knocked lightly, then a little harder. 

A few minutes later, Castiel came to the door. He was much different than the Castiel Dean was used to. He was wearing a plain gray t-shirt, black lounge pants, and his dark hair was messier than usual.

"Dean?" He asked, obviously concerned as he could see how distressed the pair of them were. He glanced at Sam before nodding and stepping aside. "Come in. Is everything okay? Why are you here?" He asked, confused and worried.

"I'm so sorry for just barging in like this...but we need a place to stay for the night," Dean said, obviously embarrassed. He hated admitting he had weaknesses, and he hated having to ask people for help. "You remember Sam, right?" Dean asked, placing a hand on his little brother's shoulder. 

"Oh, yes," Castiel was still very confused, but he nodded. "I-I guess that's fine. I'm just a little caught off-guard, though. Would you mind just explaining what happened?" He asked, not really knowing what to make of the whole situation. 

Dean nodded, internally screaming because no one was supposed to know about his father. 

"Okay," Castiel said, still a bit flustered. "I- uh, have a spare room one of you can stay in."

"Sam, go," Dean said, giving Sam's shoulder a little half-hearted squeeze before pushing him gently in Castiel's direction. 

Sam nodded as Castiel led him to the room, and once he was settled in, Castiel came back out. "Shall we sit?" He asked, placing a hand on Dean's back and guiding him to the familiar black couch. Once they were sitting, Castiel sighed and turned towards Dean. "Please don't take this the wrong way. You're a very nice boy, Dean, and I enjoy our time together, but...why are you here? I don't like surprises very much, and I would like you to just clear this all up. Please." 

Dean nodded. "I understand," He answered quietly, then proceeded to tell Castiel all that had happened that night, and all about his parents. It hurt, and Dean would be lying if he said his eyes didn't start to water again, but by the time the story was over, Castiel was nodding in understanding. 

"Okay, Dean. That's okay. You don't have to say anymore," Castiel stopped him mid-sentence, taking a deep breath and not hesitating before pulling Dean into a light hug. Castiel rubbed Dean's back soothingly and sighed. He wasn't sure if he should tell somebody about this or not, but he knew that for now, he just needed to give the boys a roof over their heads for one night. He could do that. 

After a minute or two, Castiel pulled away, frowning slightly. "You need rest. The spare room has the only bed, but you can have my room for the night. I'll stay on the couch." 

"A-Are you sure?" Dean asked, biting his bottom lip. 

"I'm sure. Right down the hall, first door on your left," Castiel said, giving Dean a small smile as the younger boy stood up and began to walk to the bedroom.

"Thanks," Dean said quietly before he was out of earshot. He knew that was a lot to take in, and he was just lucky that Castiel hadn't kicked him out. As Dean curled up in Castiel's soft bed, face pressed into the pillow, he felt nauseous. The events of that night had drained him, and just thinking about everything that'd happened made him cringe and curl up tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out a bit sadder and more angsty than I had originally planned...but I hope you like it anyway! Feedback is appreciated! :)


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning, Dean woke up to the smell of bacon frying and pancakes sizzling. He frowned slightly and sat up, panicking for a moment in the unfamiliar room before he realized where he was. The night before, Dean hadn't gotten a very good look at Castiel's room, but now he could see that it was quite different from the rest of the apartment. Dean stood up and stretched, rubbing at his eyes and scrubbing a hand through his hair before walking around the room. 

There was a small photo on the wall of a little boy with shaggy dark hair and blue eyes, standing next to a girl with vibrant red hair. Dean assumed that was Castiel and his sister, Anna when they were younger. He smiled to himself and continued to look around.

There were several other pictures of family decorating the wall, and Dean looked at all of them before he finally noticed the huge bookshelf in the corner of the room. It was painted the same color as the walls - the same light, powdery gray - so it was no wonder Dean missed it. 

Dean wasn't a big reader, but it didn't surprise him that Castiel was, seeing that he wanted to be an author. That still made Dean angry. He didn't know why it affected him so much, but the thought of Castiel suffering in a profession he didn't enjoy made Dean want to go have a talk with Castiel's parents himself. 

Dean crouched down in front of the book shelf and scanned the spines, reading the covers. They were all pretty much the same: mostly nonfiction with the occasional realistic fiction thrown in there. Dean stopped when he saw a book that looked different from all the others. Instead of being bound, the pages were simply stapled together. He pulled it out and read the cover. 

'My Family. By Castiel Novak.'

Dean smiled and turned the page. The handwriting was pretty sloppy, and the edges of the paper were browning and fraying, so Dean assumed that Castiel wrote the book when he was much younger. 

'I have a very big family. Sometimes they are really annoying.' 

Dean couldn't help but grin as he continued to read. There was a picture on each page as well, and this one had a stick-figure with blue eyes looking pissed at a stick-figure with brown eyes. Underneath each figure were captions that said, 'Me,' with an arrow pointing to the blue-eyed figure, and, 'Gabe,' with an arrow pointing to the brown-eyed one. 

Dean laughed out loud. It was a good thing Castiel didn't want to be an artist. He turned the page carefully, smiling as he began to read. 

'Even though they are really annoying, I still love them most of the time.'

Dean laughed even louder and shook his head as he began to look at the picture. This one was simpler, with just a big red heart in the middle of the page. 

Dean turned the fragile paper again, not noticing when Castiel opened the door and stepped into the room. 

"Dean? I heard you laughing. Is everything okay?" Castiel asked furrowing his brow slightly. 

Dean swallowed nervously and stood up, biting his lip. "Y-Yeah. Sorry. I just...um..." He felt awful for snooping around Castiel's room. 

"I forgot about that," Castiel said simply, noticing the book in Dean's hands and walking over to take it from him. He looked at the cover wistfully. "This is the first book I ever wrote. I was seven." He smiled at the cover before bending down and placing it back into the bookshelf. 

"Sorry. I shouldn't have looked through your stuff," Dean said, blushing. 

"It's fine, Dean. I would've done the same thing." Castiel laughed softly, giving Dean a reassuring nod. "Come into the kitchen. I made breakfast for Sam. He's a nice kid. I like him," Castiel said, turning around and walking back out of the room, Dean following.

Dean breathed a sigh of relief as they entered the kitchen, glad that Castiel wasn't mad about the book. "Morning Sammy," He said, ruffling his brother's hair and trying not to notice how Sam's eyes were red-rimmed and puffy. 

"Hey Dean," Sam said, smiling at his brother briefly before going back to his food. 

Dean smiled back and walked over to Castiel, who was standing over the stove, cooking. 

"I made pancakes and bacon," Castiel said, gesturing to a plate which he already had ready for Dean. 

"Thanks Cas," Dean said happily, grabbing the plate and sitting down next to Sam at the table. There was a carton of orange juice and glasses on the table as well, so Dean poured himself a cup.

Just then, there was a phone call. Castiel sighed and stepped away from the stove. "I'll just be a minute. Dean, make sure nothing burns," Castiel said before stepping off to the side to take the call. 

"Alright," Dean said as he took a bite of his pancakes. He caught bits and pieces of Castiel's conversation. 

"No, I'm not coming to church today. I'm...busy," He heard Castiel sigh into the phone. "Well just tell Dad I'll be there next week." A pause. "No, I'm not hurt. I'm fine. Just busy." 

Dean didn't hear the rest of the conversation, because Castiel lowered his voice, but he assumed that Cas had been talking to one of his family members. 

A few minutes later, Castiel stepped back into the kitchen and walked over to the stove. He made his own plate before walking to the table and taking a seat across from Dean. 

The three of them ate slowly, Castiel occasionally asking Sam questions about school, and about this 'crush' that Dean had told him about. (Dean earned one of Sam's glares for that.) 

When they all were finally done eating, Dean offered to help clean up and wash the dishes. it was the least he could do, really. Castiel refused his offer at first, but Dean insisted until he finally gave in. 

Castiel turned on the History channel for Sam before joining Dean at the kitchen sink. "I'll wash, you dry," Castiel said, and Dean nodded. 

They cleaned in silence for the first few minutes, until Castiel finally spoke up. "Dean, you can stay longer, if you need to," Castiel said quietly, obviously worried about Sam and Dean going home. 

"Nah, it's alright. We need to go home. Plus, I wouldn't want to be an inconvenience," Dean said truthfully as he dried a dish and set it aside.

"You're not inconveniencing me, Dean. I like having you guys over. And I don't know if you're safe at home," Castiel admitted softly. 

"We're fine, really. This isn't the first time this has happened. Dad will get over it, and everything will be okay," Dean said, nodding to try to get himself to believe what he was saying. 

"I-I don't know. I don't like the idea of you boys being in danger," Castiel said, biting his lip as he scrubbed a dish. Part of him still felt like he needed to tell someone what was going on. 

"We're not unsafe. Please, Cas. Don't tell anyone. I'll do anything," Dean pleaded, setting his dish aside and turning to face Castiel. 

Castiel thought for a moment before sighing heavily. "Alright. Alright, but if anything else happens, I'm going to have to tell someone," He said, though all his instincts were screaming at him to just let somebody know. Just keep the boys safe. 

"Thank you so much. I really appreciate that," Dean said, giving Castiel a small smile and trying to ignore the gnawing feeling in his gut. 

***

About an hour and a half later, Sam and Dean were standing at the door, about to go home. 

"I really can't thank you enough for this," Dean said, smiling at Castiel and wishing he could show him how grateful he was. 

"You don't have to," Castiel assured, cheeks slightly pinker than before. "Just text me when you get home, I want to make sure you made it back safely. Also text me before you go to bed tonight, so I know everything's alright." 

"Okay, Mom," Dean teased, rolling his eyes as he opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. 

"Thanks Cas," Sam said, giving Castiel a smile before waving goodbye as Dean closed the door behind them.

***

"I like Cas," Sam said once they were in the car. 

"So do I," Dean agreed, nodding. They drove in silence the rest of the way. 

***

When they reached home, Dean placed a hand on Sam's shoulder protectively as they walked inside. 

John was sitting on the couch, obviously hungover, a hand pressed to his forehead. 

"We're back," Dean said, taking deep breaths. 

"Thank goodness," John muttered under his breath as he stood up shakily and walked towards his sons. "I thought you guys had run off. I-I was worried." 

"Now you know how it feels," Sam said, glaring at his father. 

Dean squeezed Sam's shoulder as a warning before nodding at John. 

"Where were you boys?" John asked, obviously relieved. 

"Don't worry about it," Dean said, giving his father a small crooked smile before walking towards the stairs. "We can talk later, Dad. Alright?" Dean offered, raising his eyebrows. 

"Okay," John said, flopping back on the couch. 

"Remember to text Cas," Sam prompted when they reached the top of the stairs and he made his way to his own room. 

"Right. Thanks, Sam," Dean said, giving his little brother a smile before heading into his own room, collapsing on the bed and pulling out his phone.

'We're home. -DW' 

A reply from Castiel came just moments later. 

'Good. Is everything okay? -CN'

'Yeah, for now. -DW' 

'Okay. Make sure you text me before you go to bed tonight. -CN'

Dean chuckled at that and rolled his eyes. Castiel was being such a mother. Although it /was/ kinda cute how concerned he was about Sam and Dean's safety. Dean scowled at himself and pushed that thought out of his mind. 

'Sure thing. -DW'

Dean texted back before turning his phone off and sighing deeply, wishing that he could just have a normal life for once.


	11. Chapter 11

About half an hour later, Dean heard a knock at his bedroom door. He paused for a moment, biting his lip before replying. "Come on in." 

John slowly turned the knob and entered Dean's bedroom, looking around at the unostentatious tan walls, the classic rock posters, and the dirty clothes strewn about the carpeted floor. He hadn't been in Dean's bedroom in months, and that should've been a sign that something about their relationship wasn't quite right. 

"Can we talk?" John asked, choosing each word meticulously.

"Yeah. Sure," Dean said, scooting over in his twin bed to make room for his father. 

John sat down next to Dean, leaning against the headboard and sighing deeply. They sat there in silence for a few moments before John finally spoke up. "Sam's pretty pissed at me, huh?" 

"Yeah," Dean huffed softly, because that was fairly obvious. 

"I just- I just feel awful, Dean," John said, rubbing his temples and closing his eyes in distress. 

"Well...you kinda should," Dean said with a shrug, feeling only the slightest hint of sympathy for his father. 

"I know," John said, shaking his head, ashamed. "Trust me, I know. I spent all last night thinking about it." 

There was another lengthy pause, where neither man spoke for a while. 

"I didn't know that it was so bad," John said, taking a deep breath and opening his eyes once more. "I didn't realize how much it affected you guys. I-I thought you didn't care that I left so much. I mean, it's not like I ever did much around the house anyway." 

"That's it, Dad. You're missing the point entirely," Dean said, sighing and rapping his fingers on his thigh as he tried to think of how to explain this to his father - who obviously was having a hard time understanding exactly what he'd done that was so wrong. "It's not that we didn't care. We just...we were used to it. It was normal for us to have a dad who would leave for a couple days, then come back. I've been taking care of Sammy on my own since Mom died, so nothing really changed when you would leave." Dean paused and closed his eyes briefly before speaking again. "But this time you were gone for three weeks. Three weeks, Dad. That's a lot different than three or four days." He paused and turned his attention to his father, furrowing his brow slightly and narrowing his eyes. "Do you realize that? Do you understand?" 

John groaned and buried his face in his hands, not speaking for several long minutes. Dean didn't try to comfort him. He didn't pat his shoulder, rub his back, or tell him it was okay. Because it wasn't. And if Dad was going to realize that, this was the way. 

After what seemed like an eternity - but was only about ten minutes - John lifted his head up and looked Dean straight in the eye. "I'm sorry." 

Dean was a little taken aback. Winchesters usually didn't apologize. At least, not that directly, and not with that much sincerity. Dean hadn't heard his father use that genuine tone since the night Mary died, when he'd pulled Sam and Dean close and told them he loved them. So it wasn't Dean's fault if his eyes got a little watery. 

"Dad...that- that's okay. Everybody makes mistakes," Dean said, giving his father a sad little smile. "But I think you need to go tell Sam everything you just told me."

"Yeah," John said, standing up and walking to the door of Dean's bedroom. He pulled the door open, but right when he was about to step into the hallway, he stopped and turned around. 

Dean could see the movement of his throat as his father swallowed nervously. 

"Thank you," John said, nodding at his oldest son before hurrying out of the room and closing the door behind him. 

*** 

Dean caught bits and pieces of John's apology to Sam. From what Dean could hear, it sounded like Sam wasn't even trying to understand. 

"Yeah, well, that's great, Dad. You can't just waltz in here with a sad face and expect me to wipe your slate clean," Dean heard Sam say, his voice slightly muffled through the walls.

Dean groaned and ran his fingers through his hair, sighing softly. If there was one thing Sam needed to work on, it was tolerance. Sure, Dad had basically stripped Sam of a normal home life and an available father figure, but Sam needed to realize that Dad /was/ trying to make things better.

However, Dean could see Sam's side of the argument too. As much as it sucked getting his childhood ripped from him, having to raise his little brother, and still trying to be a good, obedient son, it must've been awful for Sam too. It made sense that Sam wasn't being as forgiving. He and John had never gotten along as well as John and Dean had. Maybe it was because Sam was more free-spirited. Unlike Dean, he was eager to do his own thing, and not fall into the same rut that his father was in. Dean, on the other hand, was always trying to please his father. He felt like his purpose in life was to gratify his dad, and make John proud. And he sometimes hated himself for it. 

Dean didn't want to hear Sam and John arguing in the next room, so he turned on some Metallica and took a deep breath, closing his eyes and leaning back. He soon found that no matter how hard he tried, thoughts about this whole mess kept creeping back in. 

Dean rubbed a hand over his face and sighed, his eyes drawn to his cell phone. He thought it over for a few minutes before picking up the phone and calling Castiel. Now that someone actually knew about his family, Dean was going to take advantage of it. It always felt good to tell someone else what was going on and let off a little steam. 

When Dean heard the other line pick up, he opened his mouth, but Castiel beat him to it. 

"Dean? Is everything okay?" Castiel asked. His voice wasn't quite frantic, but it was a close thing. 

"Yeah, Cas. Relax. Everything's fine." Dean smiled softly to himself and rolled his eyes. "Dad and I just had a talk." 

"Oh? What happened?" Castiel inquired, and Dean heard some rustling of papers through the receiver. 

"It was fine, actually," Dean admitted, a small smile still on his face. "But Dad's talking to Sam now, and it don't sound like it's going too well." 

"Ah..." Castiel paused for a moment before responding. "Maybe Sam just needs some more time." 

"Yeah, that might be it. I just hope Dad realizes that and doesn't get too discouraged," Dean said, shifting so he was laying flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling fan and watching how when it was going really fast, all of the blades sort of blended together. 

"Hm. Well, if things do get bad again, just know that both of you are always welcome here," Castiel said, very matter-of-factly. 

"Thanks Cas." Dean chuckled dryly.

Dean could almost hear Castiel's smile on his voice, evidently pleased that he'd made Dean laugh, even if it was mostly suppressed. "No problem." 

Dean had a reply on the tip of his tongue, but he heard a chime-like sound on the other line, and he furrowed his brow slightly. "Doorbell?" 

"Yeah," Castiel answered. "That's odd, I don't usually get visitors." He paused for a moment. "I'll have to talk to you later, Dean. And remember, if anything happens, please don't hesitate to call me." 

"Gotcha," Dean said, grinning softly to himself as he hung up the phone, feeling much calmer and more composed than he'd felt before talking to Castiel.

***

About twenty more minutes passed before Dean heard his dad leave Sam's room. Dean got out of his bed and walked to his door, pulling it open and glancing out into the hallway. John was red-faced and obviously frustrated. He didn't stop to speak to Dean before he was hurrying down the stairs.

"Hey, hold up!" Dean said, following his father and watching in disbelief as John grabbed his coat and keys. "Where are you going?" Dean asked, eyes widening and mouth falling open. After everything that'd happened...Dad was deciding to leave, again.

"Just for a quick drive," John assured, taking a deep breath and glancing over at Dean. "I'll be back by tonight. I promise," He said before turning the doorknob and heading out.

Dean grabbed his sleeve and pulled him back in. "Dad, what? This has got to be the worst time you could choose to leave. Really? After everything we talked about upstairs?" He paused, his forehead creasing. "What happened with you and Sam?" Dean finally asked, knowing that it had to have something to do with that. 

John sighed deeply and shook his head. "Sam doesn't understand. He's very stubborn, and very difficult. I just need to go clear my head. Please, Dean," John said, trying to tug his arm away.

"Sam is also thirteen. You can't expect him to see everything the way you see it," Dean countered, shaking his head, still in shock that his Dad was literally about to leave. 

"I realize that. But I'm trying not to lose my temper here." He paused and tried to pull his arm away again. "Dean." 

Dean took a deep breath in, held it for ten seconds, and then exhaled. "Fine. But if you're not back by tonight- " 

John cut him off. "I will be." He looked Dean in the eye and nodded. "Son, I'll be back." 

"Okay," Dean finally relented, releasing his father's sleeve and watching as his dad hurried out of the house, shutting the door as he left. 

*** 

A few minutes later, Dean was upstairs, sitting on Sam's bed, trying to find out what happened. 

"Like I said, I just told him the truth," Sam said nonchalantly, shrugging.

"And what exactly is the truth?" Dean questioned, chewing on his bottom lip.

"I told him that he wasn't a good father, and that apologizing wasn't going to fix anything," Sam said casually. 

"Sammy..." Dean groaned exasperatedly and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I know Dad has fucked up. Believe me, I know. But I think he's really trying this time. I think he's really trying to make things right." 

"Of course /you/ think that," Sam said, rolling his eyes. 

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, his eyebrows pulling together. 

"I mean, you always believe Dad. You always do everything he tells you to do, you never doubt him. You know." Sam paused and sighed, "You're his favorite. You always have been." 

"Sammy...that's not true," Dean tried to assure him, his eyes full of sympathy. "I know for a fact that Dad loves you just as much as he loves me." 

Sam snorted, obviously not believing that. "Whatever. I'm gonna do some homework," He stated, a subtle way of telling Dean to leave.

"Alright," Dean said, exhaling heavily as he stood up and left Sam's room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...this chapter was going in a COMPLETELY different direction when I left my draft on the desk and my dog decided it looked like food. And I got to thinking, "Maybe it wasn't meant to be that way?" So I basically changed everything. Heh. Let me know if it's good! Comments and kudos really do make my day. They encourage me to keep writing:)


	12. Chapter 12

To Dean's surprise and relief, his dad lived up to his word and came back home at about nine o'clock that night. Sam was sprawled out on the couch, his long legs and arms taking up nearly all the space, and Dean was at the sink in the kitchen, washing the dishes from dinner that night. When he heard the door open, Dean set down the bowl he was drying and walked over to greet John. "Hey Dad," Dean said, offering his father a small smile. 

"Hi Dean," His father replied, returning the awkward grin. "Were you able to talk some sense into..." John trailed off, gesturing to where Sam - who had turned the volume up on the television - was sitting in the living room. 

"Uh, no?" Dean said, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. "I mean, I tried to talk to him," Dean lowered his voice, "but Sammy's just a little stubborn. That's all." 

"I heard that," Sam said, obviously pissed. Neither John nor Dean had heard the television turn off. Sam walked over to them, his nostrils flaring. 

Dean expected Sam's anger to be directed towards him, but instead Sam turned to face his father. Dean groaned inwardly. This wasn't going to end well. At all. 

"Sam..." John said carefully and slowly, using that tone he only used when he thought Sam was being completely ridiculous. 

"Dad. Stop trying to make Dean clean up your messes for you. You just know that Dean will do whatever you ask him to. He'll always think you're some kind of superman. But I know you're not," Sam said, his voice surprisingly calm. 

Dean stood off to the side, frowning as he listened to Sam. He didn't do everything Dad asked him to. Did he? 

"I just think you're being a little childish about this, son. Try to see things from my perspective," John said, his voice relaxed with just an edge of annoyance. 

"This is stupid. I'll be upstairs," Sam said, disregarding his father's last statement and rolling his eyes as he turned around and began to walk away. 

"Wait a second, Sam," John said, grabbing Sam by the collar and pulling him back. He didn't mean it in an aggressive way, but the action made something twist in Dean's gut. 

Sam grabbed John's wrist and pulled his hand away, turning around to face him. "What?" He asked, glaring. 

"Alright, alright," Dean said, stepping in between the two of them with a sigh, his back to Sam. "Both of you. Please," Dean said, addressing the two of them, but only facing his father. "I get that you guys aren't on the best terms right now. That's okay. But you ain't gonna stay pissed at each other forever," Dean said, turning his head slightly to glance at Sam over his shoulder. "Sam, maybe you should be a little more forgiving," Dean said, and that was it. 

"Whatever, Dean," Sam huffed, shaking his head as he turned around to walk back upstairs. When he was gone, Dean sighed and looked at his father. He should've known that would set Sam off, especially when the younger Winchester was already very set in his opinion on his father's behavior.

"And...I think you need to try a little harder, Dad," Dean said, looking John square in the eye. 

"What?" John asked, furrowing his brow.

"Yeah, you apologized. And that's enough for me. But obviously not for Sam," Dean said, shrugging. He just desperately wanted all of this to be over. He hated having to be the mediator, but it seemed like whenever there was an argument between Sam and his father, that's exactly what he ended up doing. "Sam's got a science fair coming up. He's been working on the project for weeks. You should go. Show him you care."

"He does?" John asked, surprised. "How come I didn't know?

"You've been gone," Dean said, swallowing hard and clenching his teeth. He paused for a moment before continuing. "The fair is on Friday at Sam's school."

John thought for a long moment, which bothered Dean, because he shouldn't have even had to think about it. "Alright, I'll go," John said with a small sigh. "Not sure Sam will be too pleased to see me there, though." 

"He will. Trust me," Dean said, smiling a little and patting his father on the shoulder. Sam would never admit it, but Dean could tell how upset he would get when Dad didn't attend his events. "I've got some homework to finish, so I'll be in my room," Dean said, giving his father a small nod before heading upstairs and sighing heavily.

When Dean reached his room, he pulled out his math homework and began working on it. Over the past few weeks working with Castiel, math had become so much easier to Dean. There were still a few little things that gave him trouble, but the majority of the problems were easy to work out.

After about twenty minutes of doing his work, Dean heard a knock at his door. "Come in!" He called, pulling his pencil out of his mouth. He assumed it would be his dad who entered, so he was surprised when it was Sam. "Oh, hey Sammy. What's up?" Dean asked, setting his work down and scooting over in his bed to make room for Sam. 

"Do you think I overreacted?" Sam asked immediately, sighing and leaning against the headboard. 

Dean thought about that for a moment. Originally, he was going to say yes, but then he started thinking about what Sam had said before. About how Dean thought John was a superhero, how he listened to everything his dad said and would do anything he was told. Maybe...Dean thought, just maybe, he was the one with the warped way of thinking, and Sam's reaction was completely normal.

"Nah," Dean said after a while, shaking his head. "You were right, anyway."

"About what?" Sam asked, furrowing his brow in confusion. 

"About me. And how I see Dad. You were right," Dean said, shrugging and looking everywhere but at Sam. 

"Dean...I didn't mean that stuff I said. Really." Sam placed a hand on Dean's shoulder. "C'mon, man. I didn't mean it." 

"It's fine," Dean said, turning to Sam and giving him a reassuring smile, though he still believed that everything Sam had said that night was true.

Sam nodded. "Well, alright." 

***

Sam left the room a few minutes later, leaving Dean alone again. He glanced at the time - about ten thirty. It would be a little early for him to go to bed, but Dean needed some kind of distraction. He was sure he'd feel better in the morning. Dean stood up and walked to his closet, slipping off his clothes and pulling on some soft black sweat pants. He walked back to his bed and laid down, flicking his lamp off before pulling out his phone and sending a text to Castiel. 

'Hey. -DW'

'Hello. Is everything okay? -CN' 

Dean thought about telling Castiel about the confrontation between Sam and his father, but he decided against it. He was still quite embarrassed about how messed up his family was, even though Castiel already knew about everything. Most of all, though, he just didn't want to worry Cas.

'Yeah, everything's fine. I'm just about to go to bed. -DW'

'Okay, that's good. -CN' 

Dean was about to turn his phone off and go to sleep when he remembered something from earlier.

'Hey, who was at your door? -DW'

'My older brother, Gabriel. He decided to give me a...surprise visit. He'll be staying here for a week or so. -CN' 

'I thought you didn't like surprises? -DW' 

'I don't. He knows that. -CN' 

Dean chuckled softly and shook his head at the text, when he suddenly became very worried. If Castiel had company, would they still be able to have their sessions? Dean didn't know why he was getting so anxious about this. A month ago, he would've jumped for joy if he found out he wouldn't have to go to Castiel's apartment to work on math.

'Are you still gonna be able to tutor me? -DW'

'Yes, of course. I just apologize in advance for anything Gabriel decides to do. -CN' 

'Haha okay. Thanks Cas. -DW'

With that, Dean turned his phone off, placing it on the nightstand beside his bed before curling up under the covers and closing his eyes.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I've updated, but here's chapter thirteen! Hope you enjoy!

It was Friday. School had been pretty easy for Dean. He'd gotten A's and B's on all his recent assignments, and his tutoring sessions were going well, as usual. Strangely, Dean hadn't seen Gabriel on Monday, nor had he seen him on Wednesday. Each time, Castiel would say that Gabe was out running errands or something, but Dean had a feeling that Castiel was trying to keep the two of them away from each other. Why? He had no clue. But it just made him want to meet Gabriel even more.

When the time came, Dean drove to Castiel's house, humming to himself as he walked up to his apartment. This all felt so familiar now. He remembered when he first began the tutoring sessions, and how nervous he'd been. Now, it was just part of his life. And in all honesty, he kinda liked it. Castiel was super smart, and he explained the problems in a way that was easy for Dean to understand. He was kind, and generous, and funny, and he always asked Dean about his day, and how Sam was doing, and if things at home were going smoothly. It was good for Dean, finally having someone to be able to talk to, instead of keeping everything bottled up inside.

After Dean knocked on the door, he shifted slightly so he could carry his books easier as he waited for Castiel to let him in. When the door was finally opened, however, the person who stood there was /definitely/ not Castiel. He had brown hair and almost golden eyes with a mischevious glint in them that made Dean uneasy. Gabriel. It was Gabriel. Dean knew from the moment he laid eyes on him. When Castiel talked about his siblings, he'd always say that Gabriel was trouble. Now, Dean could see what he meant, and he understood completely. 

"Uh, hey," Dean started, teeth pressing into his bottom lip, "I'm here for - uh - tutoring..." He gestured to the books he was carrying as affirmation. "Is Castiel around?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at Gabriel. 

When Dean finally stopped talking, Gabriel's face broke out into a wide grin, and he placed a hand on Dean's shoulder, patting it firmly a few times, which made Dean frown. 

"Oh, you must be Dean!" He said, putting a little pressure on Dean's shoulder so he would walk inside. Once he was in, Gabriel closed the door behind him and leaned against the nearest wall, pulling a lollipop out of his pocket, unwrapping it, and popping it in his mouth. "Cassie's told me all about you," He said with a wink, mouth full of the bright red candy. 

Dean's mouth dropped open slightly, and he struggled for a few moments to come up with what to say. For some odd, unknown reason, he felt his face heat up at the fact that Castiel talked about him. He rolled his eyes at himself for even thinking that thought, and furrowed his brow at Gabriel. "Is he here?" 

"Sure he is. I'll get him for ya," Gabriel said, holding a finger up to Dean as if to say, 'just a moment.'

Dean nodded and sighed softly. Now he knew why Castiel didn't want him to meet Gabriel. The guy was really...out there. Not that that was a bad thing, but Dean could already tell he was gonna be distracting during the tutoring. 

"Cassie! Get your ass down here! It's your boyfriend!" Gabriel yelled suddenly in the direction of Castiel's room, cupping his hands around his mouth to make his voice even louder.

Dean clenched his jaw and swallowed hard, feeling his face heat up again, to the tips of his ears this time. "I-I'm not his boyfriend," Dean stuttered eventually, unsure if he should be offended or embarrassed. Or both. 

Gabriel turned and gave him an amused, almost sympathetic look. "Right. Of course not." He grinned at Dean, giving him that uncomfortable, unsettled feeling in his stomach again. 

Dean sighed in frustration and folded his arms over his chest, huffing and looking away from Gabriel just as Castiel came down, his usually pale cheeks tinted with light pink. 

"I see you've met Gabriel," Castiel said to Dean through clenched teeth, throwing a subtle glare at Gabe when he thought Dean wasn't looking. "Dean, this is my older brother. I'm sorry for anything he said," Castiel said with a small sigh, looking tired and exasperated. Dean couldn't blame him, being cooped up with Gabriel all week long would be no walk in the park.

"What? I didn't say anything. Dean-o and I were just getting acquainted," Gabriel said with another cheeky smile, draping an arm over Dean's shoulders like they'd been best friends forever. Dean just rolled his eyes and gave Castiel a knowing look. 

"We're going to get started on tutoring," Castiel said, grabbing Dean's wrist and tugging him away from Gabriel and over to the couch. 

"Alrighty," Gabriel said, nodding and chuckling softly to himself as they walked away. 

Once the two of them reached the couch and sat down, Castiel released Dean's wrist and immediately turned to face him, frowning slighty. "Sorry about Gabriel. He can be a little...overwhelming when you first meet him."

Dean snorted. "Yeah, I've noticed." 

"But," Castiel said, raising his eyebrows at Dean and giving him a small smile. "His heart is in the right place, and that's what matters." 

"Yeah...yeah, I guess you're right," Dean said absently, zoning out once more as he stared into the big blue orbs that were Castiel's eyes. He wasn't attracted to Cas or anything, of course. Dean liked girls. He'd always liked girls. But Castiel's eyes were pretty, there was no denying that. So who could blame Dean for staring? And it wasn't like it was creeping Castiel out or anything. In fact, he was staring right back. The staring lasted for about ten seconds before a familiar voice broke the silence. 

"You two working? Cause it looks to me like you're having a very intense, very erotic staring contest." Gabriel laughed.

Dean's face turned bright red, like a tomato, and he felt his heart rate increase. He turned to look at Gabe, eyes wide, and saw that he now had a small cupcake in his hand, and was currently licking off the icing. 

"Gabriel, really?" Castiel asked, sighing and scrubbing a hand over his face in frustration. His complexion was just as red as Dean's, and Dean could see the muscles in his throat move when he swallowed nervously. "You're embarrassing me, and you're making Dean uncomfortable. Do you not have anything better to do?" Castiel asked desperately.

"Hey, I just call it like I see it," Gabriel said with a nonchalant shrug, completely unfazed. "But sure, I'll leave you and Deanie alone to do...whatever," He winked at Castiel before heading off upstairs. 

Once Castiel was sure he was gone, he turned to Dean with a desperate look. "Can we just...pretend that didn't happen?" He asked, sighing heavily, his shoulders slumping. 

"Yeah man, it's no big deal. He was just teasing, don't worry about it," Dean assured with a charming smile, one that was so contagious it even made Castiel crack one. 

***

When the tutoring session was over, and Dean drove back home, he couldn't help but continue to replay the events of that afternoon in his head. First, hearing that Castiel talked about him, then Gabriel referring to him as Castiel's "boyfriend," the whole intense staring thing, and then Castiel's embarrassment over it all...it was confusing, to say the least. But Dean didn't want to think about it too much. So he didn't.

When Dean got home, instead of making dinner as he normally would, he had to run upstairs and change into some nicer clothes for Sam's science fair. After getting dressed, he walked to Sam's room and knocked lightly on the door a few times, a smile spreading across his face. Sam was so excited about this. He'd been working on that project for weeks, putting so much time and effort into it...there was no way he wouldn't win. Dean was never really the "smart" one in the family. That was Sam. And that was okay. He was proud of his little brother. Sam was really going places. 

"Come in!" Dean heard Sam call, and he opened the door and stepped inside, whistling at the sight of Sam, all decked out in a nice dress shirt, tie, and khakis.

"Looking good, Sammy," He said with a grin, and Sam beamed. 

"You think so?" Sam asked, looking down at his own outfit and rocking on his heels.

"Absolutely," Dean said, flopping down on Sam's bed and turning to face him. "Who's that girl you like again? Jessica? Did she ever make up her mind?"

Sam rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall, sighing a little. "She said she'd let me know tonight. She's coming to the science fair. It's been weeks. I think she's had enough time to "think about it,"" Sam said, rolling his eyes and mocking Jessica's higher voice. 

Dean laughed. "Girls are weird, dude."

There was a long pause before Sam spoke again. "So, when are you getting a girlfriend?" Sam asked, raising his eyebrows at Dean. "I mean, you're attractive, popular, all the girls love you..."

Dean was a little caught off guard by the question, but he acted cool and shrugged, contemplating the ceiling. "Eh, I don't know. I just wanna get all my grades and classes in check before I think about other stuff. Like girls," Dean said, nodding to himself at how well he played that off. If he was being honest with himself, he wouldn't have a clue why he hadn't had a girlfriend in a while. It definitely didn't have anything to do with his grades, though. He knew that much was true.

***

Several minutes later, Dad, Sam, and Dean were loading up the car with all of Sam's project stuff. Dean was so glad that his father decided to come. He looked like a new guy. Showered, clean-shaven, wearing a nice outfit...despite the many mistakes his father had made, Dean couldn't help but smile.

"What's this project even about?" John asked, furrowing his brow in question at his youngest son. 

"Well, basically, I grew two identical slime molds, a type of amoeba, fed them with two different types of oats, and put them through a maze so I could determine which oats had the better effect," Sam said proudly, giving his father a small smile.

"Hm. Sounds interesting and complicated," John said, smiling back. "I think you're gonna win, Sam."

"I hope so," Sam said, biting his lip as he got into the backseat of the car.

***

When they reached the fair, Dean strolled around, checking out all of the other projects to see if there were any that even measured up to his brother's. He saw the classic baking soda and vinegar volcano, a model airplane, and another kid even tested if plants grew more when people talked to them. Dean laughed out loud at that one. Yep, Sam was going to win.

After the judges looked at all the projects and calculated the scores, they walked up on stage and cleared their throats. "First, we would like to thank you all for coming here. All of the projects we've seen today have demonstrated the true creativity and ingenuity of our students. In my book, everyone is a winner." The lady who was speaking was wearing too much pink lipstick, and her hair had so much hairspray in it, it looked like twigs. 

"Get on with it," Dean mumbled to himself, for some reason feeling his own heart rate speed up a bit. 

"However," The lady continued, "as much as we would love to award every single student a prize, there are only three. Let's start with third place." A hush fell over the room, and Dean swallowed hard. 

"In third place, with her social experiment on persuasion, we have Ms. Ruby Cassidy!"

Dean released a breath he didn't even know he was holding, and wrung his hands together nervously as he watched the girl go up and collect her certificate and medal. Once the clapping died down, and she was back in her seat, the crowd went silent again. 

"In second place, with his project on amoebas, Sam Winchester!"

Dean whispered a quiet, "damn it," to himself under his breath. Sam had the best project there. He should've won. But when he looked over at his dad, and saw the pride and affection on his face as Sam went up to collect his prize, Dean couldn't help but grin widely too. Out of the sixty projects competing, to get second place was a big deal. "Whoo! Go Sammy!" Dean yelled when Sam was on the stage. He saw his brother's smiling face go red, and he got down from there as soon as he could, silver medal dangling from his neck. 

"I'm so proud of you, son," John said, smiling and blinking back tears. Dean didn't necessarily think it was a tearful situation, but he understood what John was feeling. And he was glad that his father finally realized how amazing Sam was, and how he really needed to be a father to him before it was too late. Because if he didn't step up his game, when Sam went off to college, he might not want to come back. And Dean wouldn't be able to stand that.

"Thanks Dad," Sam said, unable to keep from smiling. "I know you wanted me to win, but..."

John cut him off. "No, Sammy. You did a great job. Do you realize how smart you are? You're gonna do great things." 

Dean smiled, but felt a twinge of jealously course through him. No one ever said those things to him. Ever. 

When the ceremonies died down, and the final winner was announced, (it was some kid who built a robot), the Winchesters packed up and got ready to go. They were walking out when they heard a voice call Sam's name. Dean turned around and raised an eyebrow. It was a girl about Sam's age, with long, wavy blonde hair, and nice eyes. She was pretty. 

"Jess?" Sam asked, walking towards her and raising his eyebrows. He ran his fingers through his hair, which Dean knew he did when he was nervous. 

"Uh...I thought about what you asked me a while ago," She started, looking just as nervous as Sam did.

"Yeah?" Sam asked, and Dean shot a smirk at his father. 

"I'd like to go out with you. I mean, if you still like me..." She trailed off.

"Really? Yeah, that's awesome, Jess!" Sam said with a smile, and Dean could tell he was trying to contain his excitement.

"Great!" Jessica's face lit up and she hesitated for a moment before taking a few steps forward and wrapping her arms around Sam's middle. "Congratulations on your prize," She said, still hugging him.

Sam hugged back, face red and grinning. "Thanks." 

After a while, Jessica pulled away. "I've got to go. Maybe we can get together tomorrow? I'll call you!" She said, smiling excitedly at Sam before heading off, her hair bouncing as she walked. 

"Atta boy, Sammy!" Dean grinned, walking up to Sam and ruffling his hair. 

"This is the best day ever," Sam said, still smiling, blissfully happy as the three of them walked out to the car and drove home. 

***

They had a late dinner that night, but it was nice. Dean never thought he'd have a dinner like that again, everyone sitting at the table, talking about their day, sharing stories, and just being together. It actually felt like he had a family. A real family.


	14. Chapter 14

A few weeks later, Dean wasn't doing very well. He'd seen Gabriel one more time before he went back home, and he wasn't quite as obnoxious as before, although he did keep shooting Dean looks, and winking at him every once in a while. It was confusing, but Dean didn't dwell on it for too long. Sam and his new girlfriend Jessica were almost inseperable. They did everything together, and saw each other as often as possible. They were more like best friends rather than a couple, but that was how it was when you dated at that age. Still, Dean hadn't seen Sam that happy in a very, very long time. Dad was doing decent as well. He was spending a lot of time on Sam, making sure he understood his homework, asking him about his school day, and sometimes even taking him out to toss around a football or get some burgers. It was clear that John was really trying to be better. With Sam. 

Dean's grades had been wobbling a little since the day of Sam's science fair, and he wasn't sure why. It was immensely frustrating, feeling like he was back at square one after all of the hard work and dedication he put into making sure he knew his stuff. Dean just felt...down in the dumps lately. The worst part was, he couldn't even pinpoint exactly what was wrong. It was probably just a combination of a bunch of little things. Dean felt guilty about it, but he was mad that everyone around him was so content and happy in their lives. Sam was just a huge ray of sunshine nowadays, walking around like nothing could possibly go wrong. And Dad...he was the same way. John finally believed that he'd patched things up with Sam, and all his many wrongs were righted. Dean just felt...really lonely. And he felt stupid for feeling that way. Everyone was happy, so Dean should be happy because they're happy. Right? 

Of course, not to his surprise, no one in Dean's family saw his distress. Usually, Sam would've picked up on Dean's mood, but he was way too lost in the euphoria of puppy-love to notice, let alone care. Dean felt completely lost and companionless.

It was a Wednesday, and Dean was at school, sitting at the lunch table with Charlie and Benny, as usual. Even though Dean didn't want to talk to them about what was going on, at least they were consistent in their friendship. This was the one part of Dean's life that he felt was still in-tact, while everything else was crashing down around him.

"So, you guys know Dorothy, right?" Charlie asked, leaning over the table and looking from Dean, to Benny, and then back at Dean. She looked excited about something. But then again, Charlie always looked excited.

Dean snorted and rolled his eyes, exchanging an amused glance with Benny. "Of course we know her. She's all you ever talk about." It was true. Charlie had the biggest crush on that poor girl, and when Charlie liked you, she wouldn't stop until you were hers. The redhead had excellent online stalking skills, so she was able to go online and hack Dorothy's social media accounts, finding out if she was in a relationship, if she was even into girls, and any other necessary information. When she'd told Benny and Dean about what she'd done, they both just sat there, slack-jawed. 

Charlie stuck her tongue out at Dean before continuing. "So...today, in Geometry, I was staring at her, and then guess what happened?" She seemed ready to bounce out of her seat.

"What happened?" Benny asked, raising an eyebrow and smiling softly at Charlie. 

"She looked back at me," Charlie said, closing her eyes and stressing each word.

"You're kidding," Dean said, chuckling and taking a sip of his water. 

"No, I'm not! That's the best part!" Charlie said excitedly, grinning.

"So, are you gonna ask her out or what?" Dean asked, smiling and raising an eyebrow. Charlie and her little adventures never failed to take him away from his usual troubles and make him laugh. 

"Are you serious?" Charlie asked, narrowing her eyes at Dean in confusion. "Of course I'm not gonna ask her out. /She's/ going to ask /me/ out." She said with a smirk, crossing her arms over her chest. 

"Oh," Dean said, looking over at Benny, who was laughing and shaking his head. 

***

After school that day, Dean drove home, walking inside his house and dropping his bag at the door. He looked up, ready to say hi to Sam, who was sitting at his usual spot at the table, and he stopped cold. John was sitting beside Sam, helping him with his homework. Dean swallowed hard. He knew he should be happy about this, happy that Dad was actually putting some effort into being a better father, but he wasn't. All he could feel was jealousy. And he hated himself for it.

"Hey Dean," Sam said, not looking up from his work. 

"Yeah. Hi," Dean said, trying to keep his tone light and happy as he went straight into the kitchen. 

"How was your day?" John asked, glancing up at Dean for a moment before looking back down. 

"Fine. Thanks for asking," Dean said, turning away from them and taking a deep breath. He was a terrible person. He was a terrible son, and a terrible brother. He was jealous of Sam because his father was paying more attention to him and none to Dean. He felt like a petty five year old. This was stupid. He was stupid. 

Dean leaned on the counter, supporting himself with his hands placed flat on the cold, hard surface, and took deep breaths. He felt sick to his stomach. 

"Dean?" Sam asked, looking up from his work briefly and frowning as he looked over at Dean. 

Dean didn't hear him, just kept breathing heavily, leaned over the counter. He was such an idiot. No wonder he had to live in Sam's shadow even though he was the older brother. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't do anything right. He couldn't even be happy that his family was finally getting along. That thought made him feel even more ill. He groaned.

"You okay?" John asked, standing up and slowly walking over to Dean, brow furrowed.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine," Dean lied, face pale as he stood back up, swallowing hard. 

"You don't look fine," Sam observed, face pulling into a confused grimace.

"Maybe you should lie down," John offered. 

"I said, I'm fine," Dean uttered through clenched teeth, still breathing deeply. The last thing he wanted was for his family to be worried about him. Not like they cared, anyway. "I'll be at Castiel's. Enjoy your little bonding time," Dean said in a mocking tone, knowing how much of an asshole he was being as he grabbed his bag and walked out of the house. Neither John nor Sam followed him. 

Dean hadn't felt this awful in a long time. He didn't even feel this bad when Dad came home after leaving them for weeks. That was anger. This was just pure self-pity. He was so selfish. John and Sam were both so much happier, so who cared if Dean wasn't? Who cared if his grades were dropping again? 

He got into his car and blinked excessively, gripping the steering wheel like a vice. What a baby. What a self-absorbed, arrogant, stupid baby. Once he calmed down considerably, Dean began to make the drive to Castiel's house. He was early, but Cas wouldn't mind. Hopefully. 

When Dean reached the apartment complex, he took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair before getting out of the car and walking up to the right door. He knocked a few times before Castiel opened it with a small smile.

"Hello Dean." 

"Hey Cas," Dean said, walking inside and hoping he looked and sounded normal enough so that Castiel wouldn't ask any questions. They were supposed to be able to talk about these kinds of things, but Dean didn't want anyone else to know what an egotistic bastard he was. 

"Is everything okay?" Castiel asked, shutting the door behind Dean and tilting his head to the side slightly.

Dean sighed inwardly. Castiel was very perceptive. And as much as Dean hated lying to him, he would hate even more to have to tell him the truth. "Yeah, everything's peachy. I'm just tired." He added a convincing smile to sell himself even more. It worked. 

"We all have those days," Castiel said with a faint smile, placing a hand lightly on the small of Dean's back and guiding him to the couch. 

Dean blushed and bit his lip as he walked.

The rest of the tutoring session went by as usual. Castiel was concerned about Dean's slipping grades, but he seemed very adamant in his belief that Dean really was smart, and that he would get better. If only.

Dean was reluctant to leave that night, but he knew the only way he could stay was if he told Castiel the truth, and that was out of the question. So, he said goodbye to Castiel, walking back downstairs and getting into his car. He couldn't go home. Not yet. He couldn't face John and Sam and have to talk about what happened. He would eventually, but he wasn't ready. Dean just felt like everything was falling apart. He was so overwhelmed and stressed, and he didn't know how to handle it. Dean felt a lump begin to form in his throat and he leaned against the steering wheel, letting it all out. He didn't hear footsteps approach the car. 

"Dean, you forgot your - " Castiel said, tapping on the window. He stopped short when he saw Dean's condition. "Textbook..." He finished, frowning deeply. He hesitated for a moment before opening the car door and crouching down on the gravel so he could be on Dean's level. "Hey..." He said gently, touching Dean's arm. "Are you okay? Wanna talk about it?" He questioned before even asking what was wrong. That made Dean - even when he was embarrassed and forlorn - smile. Just a little. Finally, someone who cared more about Dean feeling better than just finding out why he was crying. 

"I'm- " Dean stuttered, before shaking his head 'no.' "I'm not okay." 

"Alright..." Castiel said, looking genuinely sorry and worried for Dean. "I'm here. If you need to talk," He said, rubbing Dean's arm gently before standing back up and closing the door. For a scary moment, Dean thought he was just going to leave, but instead he just walked around to the passenger side and got in. 

The two of them sat in silence for a long while before Dean finally spoke, wiping at his runny nose. "Dad and Sam are getting along," He said quietly.

Castiel nodded, furrowing his brow. "That's good. Right?" 

Dean shrugged, feeling his eyes pool up again as his lower lip began to tremble. He felt so vulnerable. Castiel placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. "It is. It's really good." He paused and closed his eyes, taking a deep, shaky breath. "But if it's so good, then why do I hate it so much?" 

"Mhm...I think I know how you feel," Castiel said, choosing each word carefully. 

"You do?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows. 

"Maybe not to this extent, but yes. I grew up in a big family. I often felt lonely. Forgotten." He paused. "Is that how you're feeling?" 

Dean nodded, rubbing his red eyes. 

"It's okay. Trust me, they love you. More than you will ever know," Castiel assured. 

"You don't know that," Dean grumbled, looking away. 

"Yes, I do," Castiel answered, trying to meet Dean's eyes. 

They were quiet for a while again, Dean just taking time to calm down and breathe for a bit. It was about a half hour before the silence was interrupted by Dean's phone going off. He picked it up and sighed as he read the texts, all from Sam. 

'You're supposed to be back by now. -SW'

'Are you sure you're okay? -SW' 

'Dad's getting worried. -SW' 

'Dean? -SW' 

Dean swallowed hard and showed the texts to Castiel, who smiled a little. "See?" He paused and looked at Dean for a moment. "You should get back." 

"Yeah," Dean said, shoving his phone back in his pocket as Castiel started to get out of the car. "Hey Cas?" Dean stopped him.

"Hm?" Castiel asked, eyebrows raised. 

"Uh, thanks..." Dean blushed, starting up the car and driving away so Castiel wouldn't notice. Dean still felt horrible, but slightly less horrible than he did before. Castiel had a way of making Dean feel better, even if it was only a little bit, for a little while. Dean was extremely grateful. He only wished that there was some way he could show it, besides just saying thank you. 

***

When Dean got home, he parked the car and walked up to the door, taking a deep breath before walking in. 

"Dean!" Sam said when he heard the door open, walking up to Dean, sighing in relief. "You're back."

"Yup," Dean said, nodding and walking into the living room, taking a seat on the couch and avoiding looking at his father, who was sitting on a loveseat near him. 

"We were worried," John said, and Sam nodded. 

"Why? I told you where I would be," Dean said, shrugging as if nothing was bothering him. 

"Yeah, but...you came back an hour later than usual. And when you left, you were kinda...upset," John said carefully. Sam bit his lip and looked at Dean. 

Dean shrugged again, turning on the television. "Well you had nothing to to worry about. I'm back, and nothing's wrong," He lied, turning the volume up on the television to drown John and Sam out. However hard he tried, though, he couldn't drown out his thoughts.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's been a while since I've updated. But here's a new chapter! Enjoyyy :)

"Dean! Come down here!" John called from the living room, about a week after Dean's borderline mental breakdown. His grades had remained pretty much in the same range since then, around low C's, high D's, and in all honesty, Dean didn't give a shit anymore. Dean knew he was being moody, and probably very unpleasant to be around, but he just couldn't bring himself to care. It was like in those cartoons, when the guy has a cloud over his head and it's only raining on him. That's how Dean felt all the time. He'd talked to Castiel about it a few times, but that only made him feel better for a few hours. Then the cloud would return. 

"I'm busy!" Dean shouted back, though he was not busy at all. Dean was seated on the rough carpeting of his bedroom, back leaned up against the door. He had earbuds plugged into his ears, and he was blasting the music as loud as it could possibly go, hoping it would drown out his father. It didn't. 

"I don't care! Come here, now!" John yelled, his booming voice cutting through the sound of Dean's music. Dean rolled his eyes in frustration and yanked the buds out of his ears before standing up and storming out of the room. He needed to stop and take a deep breath before walking downstairs to meet his father.

"What?" Dean asked once he'd reached his father, who was sitting on the worn couch, television remote in his hand. 

John patted the spot next to him on the couch, then raised both eyebrows at Dean. "Sit. We need to talk." 

The words "we need to talk" could make a anxious shiver run up anyone's spine. Those words never meant anything good. Ever. Dean swallowed hard and nodded, taking a seat next to his father and leaving a few inches of space between them for comfort. "Hey...where's Sam?" He asked, trying to avoid whatever it was Dad called him down here for. 

"He's out seeing a movie with Jessica," John answered unwaveringly, giving Dean his best parental glare, eyes narrowed slightly and lips pursed. "Your math teacher emailed me today," He began, and Dean resisted the urge to sigh. He didn't care at all. So what if his grades weren't up to par? Everyone knew that Sam was the one going to college, not him. Even Dean knew that in the back of his mind. 

"Oh yeah? What'd he say?" Dean asked with a light tone of voice, unconsciously rolling the amulet Sam had given him for Christmas a few years back between his thumb and index finger.

"He's concerned. Apparently your grades were good for a while, but now you've fallen off again. Wanna explain?" John prompted, muting the television so he could direct his full attention towards Dean.

Dean sighed and shrugged, leaning back on the couch and taking the remote from his father. He unmuted the screen and flipped channels until he landed on his favorite show, Doctor Sexy MD.

John's face reddened slightly with a bit of anger, and he snatched the remote back from Dean, flicking the television off completely. "No. We're going to talk about this. Dean. Look at me." 

With great reluctance and a loud sigh, Dean turned to look at his father, eyebrows raised. "I don't know what you want me to tell you," he said with a shrug, shaking his head. "I guess I'm just not good at math." 

"We both know that's not true. For a while, your grades were amazing," John noted, folding his arms over his chest and trying his best not to raise his voice at his son. 

Dean didn't respond, just rolled his eyes and looked away from his father. 

"Your junior year is very, very important, son. You know that? Your grades this year could determine whether or not you get into a good college. We talked about this...we don't really have the money to pay a tuition fee, so if you wanna go somewhere besides the community college, you need to get a scholarship," John said, his tone serious.

Dean groaned inwardly. This wasn't the first time they'd had this conversation. 

"I care about you and want the best for you. So, I'm switching your tutor," John said carefully, as though he knew any wrong word would set Dean off like a mine field. 

"Wait, what?" Dean snapped up, furrowing his brow and looking at his father as if he was crazy. "What?" He repeated. There was no way his father was going to make him switch tutors. 

"I'm sure Castiel is a very smart boy, but your grades haven't been reflecting that," John said apologetically, shaking his head slightly. 

Dean's eyes widened. After everything...he couldn't switch tutors. He just couldn't. "You can't do that."

"Yes, I can. And I did," John said, giving Dean a look that said this was for the best. "She's a trained mathematician, a little older than me. She'll be coming over here every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to tutor you. She's very...serious. It's a bit more expensive, but I want you to do well."

"What the hell, Dad!?" Dean said, his voice edged with anger as he stood up. "Y-You can't do this! You don't understand!" Dean swallowed hard, trying not to panic. This was all his fault, not Castiel's. Cas was a great tutor. Dean just hadn't been putting his best foot forward. 

"I do understand. Her name is Ms. Porter. You start tomorrow," John said, keeping his voice steady. 

"Fuck you!" Dean shouted, glaring at his father for a few moments before running to the door. A little voice in the back of his head kept reminding him that his father was trying to do what he thought was right, but Dean pushed that voice aside and hurried to his car, getting in and immediately starting it up. As he began to drive, he got a text from his dad. 

'I don't know why this is such a big deal to you. -JW'

Dean frowned at the tiny, bright screen of his cell phone and pulled over so he could respond. 

'Cas is a good tutor. -DW'

"I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem like it. -JW' 

Dean's fingers tightened around his phone and he clenched his teeth, sucking in a deep breath and letting it out a few moments later. He just needed some time to cool down. Over the years, Dean had learned a lot about himself. One thing was that he shouldn't try to have a conversation with someone when he was angry. 

Dean took another deep breath and began to drive again, taking the familiar path to Castiel's apartment complex. He knew Castiel didn't like surprises, so he sent him a quick text to let him know he was on his way. 

'I'm coming over. -DW'

A few minutes later, Dean's phone buzzed, and when he got to a red light he reached for it and read the message. 

'Okay. -CN'

***

Some time later, Dean was at Castiel's house, sitting on the familiar black couch and frowning down into his lap. Castiel walked up a few minutes later, two steaming mugs of hot chocolate in his hands. He handed one to Dean, and kept one for himself. 

"Thanks," Dean muttered, sipping at the hot beverage and wincing when the chocolately liquid scorched his tongue. 

"Careful," Castiel warned, his lips turning up into a slight smile. 

Dean chuckled slightly and rolled his eyes at Castiel, giving him a fond smile. "So..."

"So?" Castiel asked, raising his eyebrows and bringing his own drink to his lips. 

"Uh...my dad told me that he got me a new tutor," Dean said quietly, tapping his fingers on his thigh. 

Castiel sighed softly. "Yeah. Can't blame him, though. Your grades just kept dropping."

Dean pressed a hand to his forehead and was quiet for a few moments. "But that's not your fault! I just...I just didn't care enough."

Castiel sighed and placed a hand on Dean's shoulder gently. "I know. But your dad doesn't."

"It's not fair," Dean said, his voice shaking slightly. He swallowed the lump building in his throat and shook his head, determined not to cry in front of Castiel. Again. 

"I know. But it's not like we'll never see each other again, you know. You're welcome over anytime," Castiel promised with a fond smile.

Dean blushed slightly and took another sip of his hot chocolate, feeling the steam float up and brush over his face. "It's not the same though. I want /you/ to tutor me," He complained, knowing he probably sounded like a whiny toddler. 

Castiel sighed and his shoulders slumped. He rubbed a hand over his face and nodded. "Me too."

They were quiet for a few moments before Castiel spoke up again. "But it's not up to us. You can still bring your work over here any time you need help, and we can even hang out outside of here. Y'know, if you ever want to go to a movie or something..." He cleared his throat, and Dean could've sworn he detected a slight blush on his cheeks. "I'm going to miss tutoring you, though," He said quietly, swallowing hard. This time, there was definitely a blush. 

"I'm gonna miss it too," Dean said with a soft sigh, closing his eyes and leaning back on the couch again.


	16. Chapter 16

The next day, Dean was actively trying to think of how to get his father back. He knew he shouldn't, and he knew it was a stupid, petty thing to do, but something inside him kept reminding him that with all the mistakes his father had made, Dean should've at least been allowed to make one. John didn't even consult with him or ask him about it before making such a huge decision. He knew that Dean and Castiel had gotten close over the past month, but apparently, that didn't matter. John just needed to get it through his thick skull that he didn't always know what was best for his son. 

Dean was sitting with his friends at his usual spot at lunch, listening to Charlie drone on and on about a new doctor or something, when he sat up suddenly. "Hey guys? Do you wanna come over and hang out after school?" Dean asked casually, eyebrows raised. 

Charlie stopped mid-sentence and furrowed her brow slightly, running her fingers through her long red hair. "Uh, sure?" She replied in a confused tone, tilting her head to the side and looking at Dean. 

Dean couldn't help but chuckle softly. Castiel did the head-tilt thing too. "Why do you say it like that?" Dean asked in regard to Charlie's puzzled voice. 

"It's just...we've known each other since sixth grade, and you've never once invited me over," Charlie said with a shrug, taking a bite of her bright red apple. 

Dean nodded. It was true, anyway. His father probably wouldn't care if Dean had friends over, it's just that Dean was a somewhat private person. There were some aspects of his life that he liked to keep to himself, and his home was a part of that. He lived in a small house, with a main level and two rooms upstairs. It wasn't much, but Dean had lived there since the fire, and it was home. He was sure Charlie and Benny wouldn't care where he lived, but Dean knew that they had much nicer places, and he just felt a little embarrassed. "Well, I am now," Dean said with a smile before directing his attention to Benny. "You coming?" 

Benny shook his head slowly, his lips turned down slightly at the corners. "Sorry brother, I can't. I have way too much homework tonight, and I've gotta study for that Spanish test tomorrow." 

Dean frowned as well, but shrugged. "That's alright. Some other time."

After a few moments of silence, Charlie spoke up again. "So...have you talked to Lisa lately?" she asked with an air of nonchalance, taking another bite of her apple. 

Dean rolled his eyes, exchanging a glance with Benny and sighing. "No, Charlie. Lisa and I are over. For good." 

"Ugh, you guys are no fun," Charlie pouted, placing her elbow on the table and resting her chin in her palm. "You're telling me you're not interested in anyone? At all? At least Benny's admitted that he thinks that girl Andrea is cute." 

Dean could barely get a word in. When Charlie stopped to take a breath, he seized the opportunity. "It's not that - " 

"C'mon, there's gotta be someone. What about Cassie? I saw you talking to her after Lit yesterday," Charlie cut him off again. She had a habit of doing that. 

Benny chuckled and watched his friends amusedly, his blue eyes twinkling with mirth. 

"No. There's no one. I don't know, I just haven't been interested in any girls lately," Dean said with an exasperated sigh. 

Charlie smirked, "Girls? So, is there a guy you've got your eyes on?" She waggled her eyebrows, and Benny's chuckles grew louder. 

"Shut up," Dean muttered, punching Benny lightly on the shoulder before turning back to his other friend. "Charlie, I'm straight. You know that." 

"I know. Just asking," Charlie said, sounding somewhat defeated now that her theory had been proven wrong. 

Benny looked over at Charlie, smiling. "What about you, huh? How're things going with that girl you've been stalking?" 

"Dorothy? And it's /not/ stalking. It's called admiring from afar," Charlie said very matter-of-factly, crossing her arms. 

"Mhm. And what do you call it when you hack into their private social media accounts?" Dean asked, laughing. 

Charlie stuck her tongue out at both of them. "It's called mind your own damn business, Dean," she said, though her tone was teasing. 

***

Later that day, after the bell rang, Dean gathered his books and stuffed them in his bag before standing up. He was making his way to the door when Mr. Henriksen stopped him.

"Mr. Winchester?" 

Dean groaned inwardly and made a face before sighing and turning around, walking over to his teacher's desk. "Yeah?"

"Dean..." Mr. Henriksen said with a frown, shaking his head. "You've seen your grades recently, haven't you? They've dropped considerably over the past couple weeks. Did something happen you want to talk about?" 

Dean shrugged. "Nope," he lied. He knew Mr. Henriksen meant well, but this was not something he wanted to discuss with his teacher. 

Mr. Henriksen pursed his lips and nodded. "Your dad called and told us he was switching your tutor. Kinda disappointing, huh?" He paused. "But I have a feeling that Castiel wasn't the reason your grades were suffering." 

Dean raised both eyebrows. Finally, someone who understood that none of this had anything to do with Cas. It was just Dean being a brat. "Yeah." He nodded.

"Then that's all, I suppose. You're dismissed," Mr. Henriksen said with a wave of his hand before closing his eyes and rubbing at his temples. 

Dean frowned and walked out a moment later, confused as to why his teacher cared so much. After this year, he would never have to see Dean again. It just didn't make any sense. 

When Dean walked out to the parking lot, Charlie was standing by her car, waiting for him. "What took you so long?" She asked, as if she'd been standing outside for hours. 

Dean chuckled and glanced at his watch. "It's been three minutes. Sorry for keeping you waiting, princess." 

"I forgive you," Charlie said with a smile. "So...I'll follow?"

Dean nodded, already making his way to his own car, a '67 Impala his dad had passed down to him when he turned sixteen and got his license. If you asked Dean, it was pretty stupid to give a teenager a car that nice, but he /definitely/ wasn't complaining. Dean loved that car. He got in, buckling his seatbelt before pulling out of the parking lot. He made sure Charlie was behind him before he began to make the drive home. Dean wasn't sure what time his tutor was coming over, but he hoped she wouldn't be there when he and Charlie got home.

Of course, because this was just the way Dean's life worked, there was another car pulled into the driveway when he got there. It was blocking his spot, so he had to park on the street. He got out of the car, watching Charlie pull in behind him and park before she got out as well. 

"Whose car is that? Your dad's?" She asked once she'd gotten out, pointing to the silver minivan in the driveway. 

"Uh, no. His is in the garage." Dean bit his lip and sighed. "I gotta tell you something." 

Charlie frowned. "That's a little ominous." 

Dean shook his head. "No, it's nothing, really." He paused. "I got a math tutor. And it was this other guy who was cool, but then my dad switched it over to this new lady, and this is her first day. I didn't know she was going to be here so early, or I wouldn't have invited you over." 

Charlie nodded and shrugged. "Doesn't matter. I can just do my own homework until you're done, and then we can hang out," she said with a grin, walking up to the front door. 

"Hm." Dean watched Charlie walk up to the door, and then followed right behind her. Maybe he was making this tutoring thing out to be a much bigger deal than it actually was, because it seemed that Charlie couldn't care less. 

"Hi Sam," Charlie said, walking into the house once Dean opened the door. 

Sam was sitting at his usual spot, and he gave Charlie a small wave and a smile. "Hi." 

Dean walked in right behind her, shutting the door behind himself. "Hey Sammy." 

"Hi. Uh, Dean? You know your new tutor's in there..." He said quietly, gesturing to the living room. 

"Oh yeah? What's she like?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows. 

Sam shrugged and set down his pencil. "She's alright, I guess. We didn't talk much." 

"Where's Dad?" Dean asked, leaning against the closed door. 

"In his room," Sam answered, starting on his homework again. 

"You ready to face the beast with me?" Dean asked Charlie, a smile on his face. He didn't know what possessed him to invite her over, but he was glad he did. Maybe after having Castiel over a while back, he realized how nice it was to hang out with someone outside of where you usually see them. 

Charlie stuck out her hand, giving Dean a fist bump before nodding. "Ready." 

Dean and Charlie walked into the living room, Dean's face twisting as soon as he saw the woman. She was bent over a stack of work, which Dean assumed she brought in case she had any down-time. Her hair was light brown with some gray streaks, and it was pulled back into a tight, greasy ponytail. She was wearing a pantsuit, and her long fingernails were painted a dark, purpley grape color. 

"Ew, she looks mean," Charlie whispered to Dean once they entered, frowning at the woman. Dean nodded in agreement, but tensed up when the woman turned to look at them. 

"Wait until you get to know me," she said shortly, standing up and setting her thick stack of papers aside. She stuck out a bony hand towards Dean and gave him a thin smile. "I'm Ms. Cynthia Porter." 

"Dean," he answered, taking her hand and shaking it firmly. For such a thin woman, she had a strong grip. "This is my friend Charlie." 

Ms. Porter nodded at Charlie, not bothering to extend her hand to her, probably because she'd overheard what Charlie said about her. Once she turned around, Charlie made a face behind her back.

"Sit," the tutor instructed, scooting over on the couch to make room for Dean. Dean sat down and patted the small spot beside him, just large enough for Charlie to squeeze in.

"First of all, I'm here to tutor you, not to be your friend. I'm going to be just like any other teacher. Got it?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. 

Dean nodded quickly. He didn't want to get on this lady's bad side, but he was already missing Castiel. "Yeah." 

"Good. Let's begin," she said, waiting for Dean to get out his work before they began. 

*** 

A couple hours later, it was time for her to leave. Finally. The last two hours had been torture for Dean, but he couldn't imagine how Charlie must've felt, just sitting there scrolling on her phone. Ms. Porter was extremely smart, and a great tutor, but she was just too boring and serious for Dean. He needed someone who he could connect with, someone who made learning fun. He needed Castiel. 

"I'll see you next time," she said with another one of her thin smiles.

"Thanks. See ya," Dean said before Ms. Porter collected her things and headed out. Once she was out of earshot, Charlie began to rant.

"Oh my god she's awful!" She exclaimed, putting her feet up to rest on the wooden coffee table. "She was so...dry, and boring, and cold. Poor you. I honestly feel bad for you, Dean."

Dean sighed and nodded in agreement. "So do I." 

A few minutes later, John came into the room. "Charlie?" He recognized the girl from a couple times she'd hung out with Dean, but he'd never seen her at the house before.

"Hi Mr. Winchester," Charlie said politely, standing up with a smile and shaking the man's hand. 

"Charlie and I are just gonna hang out for a while. Maybe watch some movies," Dean explained as Charlie sat back down. 

John nodded, obviously not really caring that Dean had a friend over. "Alright. I just want to know how your tutoring went, and then I'll leave you alone." 

Charlie stifled a laugh and Dean shot her a glare before answering his father. "She's...different than Cas. And not in a good way," he added, throwing up his hands as if to say, 'But what can you do?' 

John sighed. "Dean..." 

"I know, I know. It's for the best," Dean said, though he didn't believe himself. His father, however, was satisfied with the answer and gave his son a small smile before leaving the room again. 

Once he was gone, Charlie looked at Dean. "What movie are we watching? Can we watch Harry Potter? The sixth one?" 

Dean rolled his eyes and chuckled. "Yeah, I think we have that one," he said, standing up to search through his movies. Dean was still feeling a little off after the experience with the new tutor, but at least he could hang out with his friend for the rest of the night, and maybe that would help take his mind off things.


	17. Chapter 17

It was the next Friday night, and Ms. Porter had just left. Dean could tell he wasn't going to get anywhere with this lady. She wasn't evil or mean or anything like that. She was just cold. All she cared about was if Dean knew the material, and how his grades were doing. She couldn't care less about his personal life. She was the opposite of Castiel. In fact, she'd even raised her voice at Dean on Wednesday because he brought home another 'D' on a math test. All Dean could do was sit there and roll his eyes, because getting yelled at was /not/ going to suddenly make his grades any better. It's not like he cared anymore, anyway. When he was with Castiel, for some reason, Dean tried really hard to bring home good grades, to make his family proud, and to make Castiel proud. He loved how excited Cas got when he got good grades, like he actually cared. And he did. Dean didn't think this lady cared. All she cared about was keeping Dean's grades up so she could stay and get her paycheck every month. At least, that's how Dean perceived it. 

But right now, Dean wasn't thinking about any of that. He was going to the movies with Castiel the next day. He didn't know why the thought made him so nervous, but it did. He told himself it was because they'd never really seen each other outside of Castiel's apartment or Dean's house, but honestly, he had no idea why those pesky butterflies were fluttering around in his stomach. 

When Saturday finally arrived, Dean woke up, had breakfast, and then hurried upstairs to get ready. He was already running a little late, so he quickly stripped and got into the shower. It was impossible for Dean to take short showers. The warm stream felt so good melting and rolling down his back. Why would he want to cut that short? So about thirty minutes later, Dean stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around his waist before he made his way to his bedroom to pick out an outfit. Dean didn't care too much for fashion, so he just tugged on a plain black t-shirt, and pulled a navy blue button-up on over that, leaving all the buttons undone. He then slipped on some boxers and a pair of loose-fitting jeans before heading back to the bathroom to brush his teeth and fix his hair. Dean stared at his reflection in the mirror and smiled at himself. "I'm adorable." He puckered his lips. 

"Oh god, Dean. Is this what you do when no one's around?" Sam asked in between bouts of hysterical laughter, standing in the doorway of the bathroom. Dean silently cursed himself for leaving the door wide open. 

He blushed deeply and frowned, clenching his teeth. "Shut up, Sam. Or do I have to bring up that time I caught you singing 'Born This Way' into a hairbrush, while shirtless?" Dean raised his eyebrows, smiling in satisfaction when Sam cringed, reliving the memory. 

"Jerk," his brother scowled, red-faced. 

"Bitch," Dean said with a grin, ruffling Sam's hair as he pushed past him to get back to his bedroom. Dean pulled on some socks and his shoes before grabbing his watch and the amulet Sam had given him and putting those on. He took a deep breath and glanced at the time. Eleven forty-five. They were going out to lunch, and then to see a movie. Castiel would be here any minute. Dean felt those butterflies return at the thought, and he frowned. 

"Dean, Castiel is here!" John called from downstairs, and Dean quickly composed himself and hurried downstairs. 

"Hello Dean," Castiel said with a smile, standing in the doorway, John standing close by. 

Dean smiled softly, running his fingers through his still-damp hair. "Hey Cas." Castiel looked really good. There was no lighter way of putting it. His dark hair was wild and unkempt, and he was wearing a thick, soft looking, dark-gray sweater with a white shirt underneath, the stiff collar of that shirt sticking out. He was also wearing a pair of dark wash jeans and chocolate brown, suede Oxford shoes. He looked fancy, and neat, and...well, good. 

"Have fun, guys," John said, breaking the train of thought that was plowing through Dean's head at that moment. "And Dean, take a jacket. It's November." 

Dean rolled his eyes, but obliged, grabbing his charcoal jacket with the soft fabric from the coat-hanger and slipping it on before saying a quick goodbye to his dad and leaving the house with Castiel.

"So, where are we going?" He asked as Castiel opened the car door for him, letting Dean get in and get settled before shutting the door and heading around to the other side. 

Castiel smiled as he got into the car and started it up, looking over at Dean. "There's this new café downtown called 'Loki's'. I haven't been yet but I've heard it's- " He cleared his throat, "I've heard it's pretty good," He said, blushing. He seemed embarrassed about that for some reason. 

Dean nodded and furrowed his brow slightly in confusion. "Loki? As in Thor's brother, Loki?" 

Castiel frowned and tilted his head to the side. "Uh, maybe? I don't know...I don't understand that reference." 

Dean laughed, rolling his eyes. "You wouldn't." He smiled. "Anyway, that sounds good. Let's do it." 

"Good," Castiel said, chuckling softly, his eyes lingering on Dean for a moment too long, looking away just before it got uncomfortable. 

Dean frowned once Castiel looked away. What the hell was that? He could've sworn Cas was checking him out. But nah, that was just his imagination getting away from him. It had to be. 

They rode in silence for the rest of the drive, Dean turning up the radio halfway through to drown out the defeaning silence filling the car. He hoped the whole day wouldn't be this awkward, because he wouldn't be able to stand it. 

"Here we are," Castiel said as they finally pulled into one of the parking spaces at the café. 

"Cool," Dean said with a smile, unbuckling his seatbelt and stepping out of the car, shoving his hands in his pockets and shivering slightly, the fall air beginning to change into winter. It was a lot colder outside now, and windy too. Dean could feel the breeze licking and stinging his face like a thousand tiny flames, and he was glad he listened to his father's advice and wore a jacket. 

Castiel locked the car and walked up to Dean, frowning slightly. "Are you okay?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah, just cold." He glanced at Castiel and couldn't help but smile, because the very tip of his nose was bright red from the cold. It was cute. He looked like Rudolph. 

"Okay, let's go in, then," he said, giving Dean a smile before walking up to the entrance and holding the door open for him, which Dean chuckled at. He breathed in deeply once they entered the café. It smelled amazing in there, like pastries and freshly baked bread and sweets. 

"Mm..." Dean hummed, closing his eyes and inhaling again. "It smells like heaven in here." 

"Doesn't it?" A familiar voice asked, and Dean's heart sank. No way. There was no way.

Castiel grabbed his arm just as the owner of the voice came into view. He had just enough time to get out a whispered, "I'm so sorry," before the voice was right up in their personal space.

"So glad you guys could make it! Would you like a candlelit meal? 'Cause I have candles in the back. We can make it happen." 

Castiel groaned. "Gabriel, no. Just a normal table."

Dean was dumbfounded. What was Gabriel doing here? And why the hell would Castiel bring him to this café if he knew that his brother was going to be there? There were several other restaurants around, they could've just gone to one of those. He followed Castiel to a table and at sat down across from him, watching as Gabriel welcomed people who were entering. He almost heard an audible 'click' as he made the connection. It was Gabriel's restaurant. But that still didn't explain why Castiel brought him there.

Castiel sighed, sounding deflated as he looked across at Dean. "I'm so sorry," he repeated.

Dean shook his head. "Wait, I don't- I don't understand. This is /Gabriel's/ restaurant? Why are we here? I thought he lived out of town?" 

Castiel ran his fingers through his tousled hair and tapped his slender fingers on the bright red table absently. "I didn't want to come here. But Gabriel said that when we went out, if we didn't come here, then he would tell you..." He trailed off, and Dean raised his eyebrows. 

"Tell me what?" He asked after it was clear that Castiel wasn't going to continue. 

"Nothing," Cas answered, blushing deeply. "And he did live out of town, but he moved here to open a restaurant. Those few weeks he was staying with me, he was putting the finishing touches on the place, and moving into an apartment." 

Dean furrowed his brow slightly. "Hold on, rewind. How did he even know this was happening in the first place?" Dean asked, trying to avoid using the words 'going,' and 'out,' because this was /not/ a date. 

"Uh..." Castiel's blush deepened. "It just kinda came up." 

Suddenly, Gabriel was right there, a pad of paper and a pencil in his hand. He snorted when he heard what Castiel said. "That's an extreme understatement. Cassie wouldn't quit talking about it. He called me last night and talked about you /forever/."

Dean laughed in amusement, because Gabriel was just kidding. He was just teasing his little brother. But with one glance at Castiel, Dean wasn't so sure about that anymore. The poor guy looked like he wanted to melt into a puddle and dribble away. His face was crimson, and when he saw Dean looking, he hid his face behind a menu. Dean stopped laughing abruptly.

"Oh, come on, guys. Have a sense of humor," Gabriel said after a while, though Dean got the feeling that he wasn't kidding about what he said earlier. He cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows at the two of them. "What do you two want to drink? To eat?" He asked, ready to scribble on the paper. 

"A grilled cheese for me. With tomato soup," Dean said, nodding and risking a glance at Castiel. His blush had gone down a little after Gabriel said he was teasing. "Also a glass of water." 

"I'll have water too," Castiel said softly, avoiding looking at Gabriel. "And corn chowder." 

"Gotcha," Gabriel said once he'd gotten everything written down. "I'll be back soon, kids. Don't do anything I wouldn't do," he said with a wink before disappearing into the back of the restaurant again.

As soon as he left, Castiel's forehead hit the table and he groaned. "He's so embarrassing," he said, voice muffled because his face was pressed into the table. 

Dean laughed softly at Castiel's reaction and, without thinking, placed a hand in his hair and ruffled it. At least, that's what he meant to do. He ended up just kinda running his fingers through the dark strands tenderly. Once he realized what he was doing, though, he yanked his hand away and frowned at it as if it had disobeyed him. 

When Castiel lifted his head up again, his face was even redder than before. Maybe because Dean had just stroked his hair. Accidentally, of course. 

Dean bit his lip and tried to change the subject. "Thanksgiving break is coming up. You excited?" 

Castiel shook his head and sighed. "Not particularly." 

Dean frowned and furrowed his brow. "Why not? You'll be off school, and you'll get to spend time with your family. What's bad about that?" 

"That's the thing. I won't be with my family this year. Gabriel's spending the holiday with his girlfriend. Anna will be with her fiancé, and the rest of the family and my parents are going on a mission trip." 

Dean furrowed his brow, resting an elbow on the table. "Why aren't you going with them?" 

Castiel shrugged. "I don't know. Just not feeling a mission trip this year, I guess." 

Dean frowned. That sucked. He always spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with his whole family, Dad, Sam, Ellen, Bobby, and Jo. It was fun. They all cooked together and then watched the football game. He didn't like the thought of Castiel being alone on that day. "I could ask if you could come over on Thanksgiving," Dean blurted, not quite sure where that idea came from. "Dad let Sam have a friend over one year, so I'm sure he'll be fine with it," Dean lied. John had done no such thing. Dean just hoped that his father would understand and let Castiel be a part of their family for Thanksgiving. 

Castiel raised his eyebrows. "Really? I mean, I'd love to. But please ask your dad first. I don't want to be a burden," he said casually, though Dean could see that he was very happy about this. He felt his stomach churn. It would be awful if John said no. 

"Yeah, of course," Dean said with a grin. 

Soon, Gabriel returned with their food and drinks. "You guys behaving yourselves?" He asked, simpering as he set their food and drinks down in front of them.

Castiel dipped his fingers into his cup of water and flicked it on Gabriel's face, smiling with satisfaction as his brother scowled and wiped the liquid off with a sleeve as he stalked off. 

Dean laughed and nodded, reaching across the table to give Castiel a high-five. "Nice. He deserved that." 

Castiel rolled his eyes and returned the gesture before taking a spoonful of his food and bringing it up to his lips. "Oh, he deserves a lot more than that," Castiel said with a smile before opening his mouth and taking in the food. 

Dean chuckled and nodded in agreement, taking a bite of his own food. By the time he was almost done, he was full as he'd ever been. He was hoping to be able to get some dessert, but his stomach was rejecting even the thought of that. Dean took a sip of his almost-empty water and frowned when he saw something floating amidst the ice. There was condensation on the outside, making the glass foggy, so he couldn't really tell what the object was. "Hm," he said, contemplatively, squinting at the object. 

"What's wrong?" Castiel asked, pushing aside his empty bowl and water glass. 

"There's something in here," Dean said, reaching into his glass and pulling it out. His eyes widened when he saw it. It was a ring. 

Castiel's jaw dropped and he shook his head. "I'm going to murder Gabriel."

***

Later that day, they were at the movies. They'd decided to see a scary movie, because after everything at the café, a romcom didn't seem suitable. Castiel paid for both of their tickets, after much arguing from Dean, and they walked into their theater. 

It was pretty empty in there, save for a few seats at the very top. Castiel and Dean chose seats that were around the middle, so they would have a good view of everything. 

"Do you like scary movies?" Castiel asked as the previews and advertisements began, big blue eyes turning to look at Dean. 

Dean nodded and smiled slightly. "Love 'em. What about you?" 

Castiel shrugged. "It really depends on the movie. But this one looks pretty good."

Dean nodded in agreement. It was a pretty stereotypical movie, with a spirit haunting the house, and the main characters trying to escape death every five minutes. It was kinda stupid, because Dean didn't understand why they didn't just go online and look up how to kill a spirit. If those things really existed, then there would probably be someone out there who knew how to take them down. But Castiel seemed to enjoy it, and that's what mattered to Dean. There had been a few times, especially at the climax, when Castiel had unconsciously latched onto Dean's arm. He didn't mind, but after everything that happened at the restaurant, he couldn't help but wonder if Castiel was really scared, or if he just wanted to be near Dean. He didn't want to think about that too much. 

When the credits began to roll, Dean stood up, Castiel following suit. "What did you think?" Castiel asked as they walked out of the dark movie theater and into the hallway. 

"I thought it was kinda cheesy and predictable, but still good," Dean said, giving Castiel a small smile as they made their way back out to the parking lot. "And you?" 

Castiel shrugged. "I feel the same way. The plot was like most other scary movies. But I kinda liked it," he admitted with a soft smile. 

Dean chuckled softly and grinned at Castiel as they got into the car and began the drive back to Dean's house. 

"We should do this again sometime," Dean said, the words flying out of his mouth before he could stop them. He bit his lip and ran his hands over his thighs after he said it, and felt his heart racing as he waited for Castiel's reply. Damn. He hated this feeling. He hated not /knowing/ this feeling. Why did he feel all fluttery and nervous now? It was just Cas, goddamnit. Dean Winchester did not like Castiel. Not like that. 

Castiel tapped his thumbs on the wheel and nodded, smiling as they pulled into Dean's driveway. "I agree. But next time, you can pick the restaurant."

Dean couldn't help but laugh at that as he opened his door and began to get out of the car. "Seeya, Cas. Thanks for the ride." 

"Wait- " Castiel said suddenly, grabbing Dean's hand just as he was stepping out. 

Dean froze, the warmth from Castiel's hand sending electric jolts through his body. He frowned, not liking this feeling at all. "Yeah?" 

Castiel opened and closed his mouth a few times before releasing Dean's hand and sighing, shaking his head. "N-Nothing. Nevermind." He mustered up another smile. "I hope we can see each other again soon. I had fun," he said, waiting until Dean was out of the car before giving him a little wave and driving off.


	18. Chapter 18

"Hey Dad?" Dean called as he walked in the house, giving Sam a quick wave before making his way to his father's bedroom. It was the following Wednesday, and Dean had just gotten home from school. It was the last week before they got off for Thanksgiving break, so of course, he had to ask John about Castiel spending Thanksgiving with them. Ever since his...outing with Castiel, Dean had been meaning to ask, but he was just so nervous about what his father would say, and having to break the news to Cas, so he'd put it off. That outing had been really unsettling for Dean. There was some kind of strange, unspoken tension between them the whole time, but Dean wouldn't let himself think about it. He knew the feeling, though. That was how he used to feel around Lisa. 

Also, Dean had been hanging out with his friends a lot recently. He'd gone over to Benny's for dinner last night and the night before, and he, Charlie, and Benny all went to some cheap restaurant for lunch the day before that. He was spending more time out than he was at home, and admittedly, he liked it. 

Dean opened the door to his dad's bedroom without knocking, and he instantly regretted it. John was sprawled out on his bed, half-full beer bottle in hand, and at least three empty bottles scattered around the room. Dean felt his stomach drop, like he was on a rollercoaster and he'd just gone down a huge slope. "What are you doing?" he asked, voice sounding steadier than he felt as he looked around. He hadn't been in his dad's room in months. The walls were painted a light beige color, like most of the other rooms in the house, and it was pretty simple, only a bed, a few dressers, and a closet. It smelled stale and the air was thick. The windows weren't open, and the fan was broken, so it was stuffy in there as well. His dad's clothes were strewn all over the floor, and there was only one decoration to be seen. It was a framed picture of Mary, holding a baby Sam on one knee, while a young Dean sat on the other, grinning widely. 

"You gotta fucking knock, Dean," John grumbled, standing up and kicking the empty bottles under the bed, as if Dean hadn't already seen them. He was in one of those moods. One of those moods where any and everything would piss him off. John hadn't been like that in a while. Something must've happened to set him off. 

Dean's frowned deepened and he tried to ignore the anxiety he felt brewing in the pit of his stomach. "What the hell are you doing?" he repeated, voice still steady. 

"What does it look like I'm do- "

"You're drinking," Dean said, cutting his father off midsentence and taking a deep breath.

John shrugged, taking a long sip of his beer just to show Dean how much he didn't care. "And? I'm an adult. I can drink if I want to."

Dean almost laughed. This was ridiculous. John was drunk, again. Maybe not yet to the point of slurring or yelling, but he was definitely getting there. "No, no, you can't. Because you can never have just one." He paused, and when John opened his mouth to retaliate, Dean cut him off again. "Why the hell are you drinking, anyway? I thought we were over this," he said, trying to contain his anger and keeping his voice down for Sam's sake. It took so long for his little brother to get on good terms with John again, and Dean wasn't too keen on just throwing all that away. He could handle this on his own. 

John laughed bitterly, taking another swig and stepping closer to Dean. "You're an idiot."

Dean furrowed his brow and took a step back, eyes narrowing. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," John said, finishing his beer and tossing the empty bottle onto the bed. "You wanna know why I'm drinking?"

Dean nodded, all of a sudden feeling unnerved.

"Your report card came in. You're failing math."

Dean froze, feeling cold all over. Shit. He knew this day would come, the day when his father finally found out about his grades, which were dropping steadily. 

John shook his head, letting out another dry laugh with no real amusement to it. "You're so ungrateful, you know that? I pay all this money to get you a tutor, and do I get a thank you? No. You're not even trying, Dean! I've noticed when Ms. Porter is trying to help, you just sit there and stare off into space. You're barely ever home anymore, always out with your friends. And what about Sammy, huh? He never sees you. And there's no one to make dinner because you're usually out, so Sam and I end up ordering takeout. I'm just saying, a little gratitude every once in a while wouldn't hurt."

Dean paused for a moment, not sure what to say. Was he really abandoning Sam? Sure, they hadn't had their movie nights or gone out for ice cream in a while, but he hadn't mentioned anything to Dean about it. But John was right about the tutoring, and Dean felt awful. He hadn't once said thank you to his father for spending some of their much-needed money to help him get better at math, and he was truly sorry about that. But then again, Dean was sixteen. He wasn't supposed to make dinner and raise his little brother. Dean finally felt like he was living a normal teenage life, going out with friends and the like, and of course, it was wrong. He knew it wouldn't last forever.

"Dad. Listen- " Dean started, just as he heard the doorbell ring. He sighed in relief, glad for the excuse to leave. He really didn't like where that conversation was headed. "We'll talk later," he lied, feeling incredibly guilty for being the reason his father was drinking. Dean bit his lip and waited for John's nod before exiting the room and shutting the door behind him.

"Your tutor's here. I didn't let her in," Sam said as Dean walked through the kitchen to get to the front. 

Dean chuckled and ruffled Sam's hair. He knew Sam liked Cas a lot better than this lady. She never even talked to him. "Thanks." He kept walking towards the door, but paused when his dad's words from earlier rang in his ears. "Uh, Sammy?" He asked, turning back around to face his brother. 

Sam looked up from his phone - his phone, not homework. That was odd. Dean would have to ask him about that later - and raised his eyebrows. "Hm?"

"After Ms. Porter leaves, we can go out for some burgers and ice cream. Sound good?" 

Sam's face broke into a wide grin and he nodded several times. "Yeah, that sounds awesome. Just you and me?"

Dean frowned slightly because he knew that Sam was wondering if any of his friends were goinng to be there. Dean wanted him to remember that there was nothing, past, present or future, that he would ever put in front of his little brother. "Just you and me."

"Awesome," Sam repeated, grinning at Dean before turning back to his phone. 

"Who're you texting, Sammy? Huh? Your girlfriend?" Dean teased, dragging out the 'L'.

Sam blushed deeply and he glared at Dean, brushing hair out of his face. He really needed a haircut. Dean was always the one who saved up money to get Sam's hair cut once a month. Just another way he felt like he'd been neglecting Sam. Dean cut his own hair, it wasn't too hard because he kept his short, but Sam was really picky about how his hair looked. "Shut up, Dean."

Dean laughed, finally walking over to the door and opening it for Ms. Porter. She was standing there in her usual pantsuit, hair pulled back tightly, and thin lips pursed. She looked a little sour because she had to stand out there so long, but still, she gave Dean a small smile and stepped around him to get into the house. 

"Well hello to you too," Dean said once she'd already left for the living room. He rolled his eyes, sharing a knowing look with Sam before sighing heavily and following the woman to the room. 

"Go ahead and get your work out," she said as soon as Dean sat down. 

Dean sighed again. This was torture. He pulled out his work and set it on his lap, glancing up at Ms. Porter briefly before speaking. "We worked on some more of those weird algebra problems today."

Now it was Ms. Porter's turn to sigh. She shook her head, tsking. "Dean, we've been going over that type of problem for the past two lessons. Have you even been paying attention?"

Dean stared at her for a few moments, thoroughly pissed. She had no right to even be the slightest bit frustrated. Dean's whole life was just a giant ball of frustration. It wasn't his fault if he slacked off every once in a while. At least, that's the way he saw it. "Uh huh."

She gave him a serious look. "This is the last time I'm going over this with you. Now watch carefully," she said as she pulled a pencil out from nowhere and put Dean's work in her own lap, beginning to solve the first problem, explaining as she went. 

Dean, of course, wasn't paying any attention whatsoever. It didn't really matter anymore. Not to him. His mind wandered back to the outing he and Castiel had on Saturday, and his stomach twisted just thinking about it. He and Castiel hadn't spoken since then. They weren't mad at each other at all or anything like that. Things were just...awkward. But now, Dean was desperate to talk to him. It was like an itch, and he needed to scratch. Dean glanced up to make sure Ms. Porter wasn't looking, then pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to Cas, making sure the phone was hidden behind his thigh.

'Hi Cas. -DW'

A reply came just moment later, and Dean's phone beeped. He bit his tongue and looked up at Ms. Porter, who had fixed him with a stern glare. 

"Phone off, or I'll confiscate it."

Dean nodded and resisted the urge to back-talk her. He was at home. This was not school. He could use his phone whenever the hell he wanted to. But he was already on this lady's bad side, and he didn't want to make it any worse, so he turned the volume off and hurriedly read Castiel's text. 

'Hello. We need to talk about Saturday. -CN'

Dean felt his heart rate begin to increase, as it always did when he got a text or a message that was obviously very serious. He shot a sideways look at Ms. Porter, whose mouth was running, explaining the equation, and Dean answered the text, his thumbs shaking slightly.

'What about it? -DW'

Dean wasn't quite sure what he was so anxious about. He wasn't sure about anything. It took a while until he felt his phone vibrate. Castiel must've been writing a long message. Dean pulled the device out, but before he could read the message, Ms. Porter had swiped the phone right out of his grip. 

"Now that we've gotten that out of the way, maybe I can actually teach you something," she said bitterly, shoving the phone into her bag and turning her attention back to the math problem. 

***

About a half-hour after the tutor left, Dean had forgotten all about the text. Ms. Porter had given him back his phone, but his mind was elsewhere. Dean was trying to spend the evening with Sam with no distractions, so when they went to the diner, he left his phone in the glove compartment. 

"Is something going on with Dad?" Sam asked between bites of his burger, looking at Dean across the table, hazel eyes searching. 

Dean didn't like lying to Sam. He really didn't. But this time, the lie was for the best. "Nah."

"Oh, 'cause when we left I saw him getting a beer out of the fridge," he said with a shrug, and Dean's eyes widened. Why was Sam so nonchalant about this? Dean thought he would freak out just as much as he had.

Dean frowned and took a sip of his soda. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I can't believe he's drinking again. After everything."

Sam shrugged again. "It's fine."

Dean's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What?"

"It's fine," Sam repeated, his voice sounding calm and collected. "He's a grown man, he can have a beer if he wants to. As long as it doesn't get out of control again, I don't really care."

Dean couldn't help but smile a little. "That's really mature of you." He didn't have the heart to tell Sam that his dad had four beers before that. And those were only the ones Dean had seen. There might've been more. 

Sam grinned widely. It was no secret that Dean was his role model, so any praise from him brightened up his day. 

***

Some minutes later, and the two brothers were just finishing their ice creams. Dean got a plain vanilla sundae with chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and a cherry on top, and Sam had gotten the same, but he mixed it all up so it was a brown, gooey mess.

"That's gross," Dean said, making a face as he watched Sam slurp up the last of his ice cream soup.

"/You're/ gross," Sam countered, and Dean burst out laughing.

"Dude, you have the worst comebacks ever," Dean said, popping the cherry from his dessert into his mouth. He always saved that for last. But about comebacks, Dean couldn't really talk, because his were just as bad, if not worse. 

The two of them laughed and talked for a few more minutes before Dean saw Castiel walk in and his heart stopped. Not because it was Castiel, though that was a part of it, but because he was with a girl, a girl around his age with dirty blonde hair and bangs. Dean swallowed hard and clenched his teeth. 

"What's wrong?" Sam asked, concerned. 

Dean didn't answer, but he was frowning deeply by the time Cas got to their table. Something in him was extremely pissed about this. He could only place the feeling as jealousy. Dean liked being exclusive. It was stupid, because he was /not/ gay, and they weren't in a relationship, but he liked it nonetheless. Castiel wasn't supposed to have friends. He'd said himself that he didn't have many friends, let alone a girlfriend. Dean felt awful for feeling this way, for not wanting Castiel to have friends, but he couldn't help it.

"Hello Dean, Sam," Castiel said with a wide smile, obviously excited at seeing the two of them.

"Hey Cas!" Sam said happily, grinning. 

Castiel smiled at him, casting a confused look at Dean, and then frowning slightly. It was pretty obvious that Dean was bitter, because he refused to look at Castiel, and his arms were folded over his chest. "Uh, this is Rachel," Castiel said, gesturing to the girl beside him, who waved. 

"Hi Rachel," Sam said, then looked at Dean, expecting him to do the same.

Instead, he stood up, grabbing Sam by the arm, pulling him up, and heading to the door of the diner. "Bye," Dean said, to Castiel. He knew it was wrong. He just needed to get out of there. Castiel stared after him, frowning and tilting his head to the side.

"Dean, what the hell?" Sam asked once they were in the parking lot, yanking his arm away from his brother.

"Just get in the car," Dean grumbled, sliding into the front seat. He was about to start it up, when he noticed his phone in the glove compartment and remembered the text from earlier. He fumbled for his phone, Sam looking at him like he was crazy. 

"Dean, talk to me, man. Is something going on with you and Cas?" Sam asked, narrowing his eyes slightly, eyebrows furrowed.

Again, Dean didn't answer, just pulled out his phone and scanned the text. 

'Actually, I'd rather we talk in person. Can we get together sometime tomorrow? -CN'

And a few minutes after that text, Castiel had sent another one. 

'Did you ask your dad about Thanksgiving? -CN'

Dean cursed under his breath and started up the car, almost aggressively. Of course he'd forgotten to ask his dad. It was almost a good thing now, seeing as Castiel would've probably wanted to bring his girlfriend. 

"I just wish you would talk to me," Sam mumbled quietly, leaning against the window, deflated.

Dean stopped what he was doing and turned to look at him. He stared for a moment, then sighed. He'd practically raised Sam. He was always there to lend an ear, always ready to listen to whatever problem Sam was going through. But he never realized that his little brother wanted to do the same for him. "Sammy..." he started.

"Forget it," Sam said, staring out of the window. "Just know that I'm here, alright?" he asked, finally looking up at Dean. "I know something's going on with you, and I'm here if you ever need to talk."

Dean couldn't help but smile slightly. Sam had a big heart. 

***

By the time they got home and went inside, Dean had three new messages from Castiel. He was afraid to look at them until he was behind closed doors, because he didn't want Sam or John to question him if he had any displeasing reactions. Once he was in the safety of his bedroom, Dean opened the messages.

'Rachel is my cousin. Not my girlfriend. -CN'

'If that's what you were upset about. -CN'

'I'm not saying it was. -CN'

Dean groaned, his hand hitting his forehead. Damn. He was such an idiot. He almost laughed at how stupid he was, and he couldn't deny the feeling of a weight being lifted off his chest at this new information. So yes, he was really happy that Rachel wasn't Castiel's girlfriend. But he was also extremely embarrassed. Too embarrassed to reply. Dean just smiled to himself and turned his phone off, setting it on his dresser before heading back downstairs to watch a movie with Sam.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for being gone so long. I suck. But thank you so much for 200 kudos! I never thought even 10 people would read my work, so this really means a lot to me. <3 Also, a good friend of mine recently posted her first ao3 fic, so I think you should all go give her some love! Here's the link- 
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/2417255/chapters/5347142
> 
> Again, thank you for taking time to read my little fic! I love you and I hope you enjoy the update! :)

"Cas?" Dean asked as he opened his front door. It was Saturday, and Dean was so happy to finally be off school. Not only off school, but also off tutoring.

Castiel nodded, tugging on the sleeves of his thin t-shirt. Dean frowned at that. It was a chilly fall day, with the lows reaching nearly freezing temperatures. "Can I come inside?" 

Dean nodded quickly after hesitating for a moment. It was a little awkward because he had never replied to Castiel's texts from Wednesday, but then again, it wasn't like he could just leave the guy trembling in the cold. 

After Castiel was inside, Dean closed the front door and they walked together to the living room, Castiel shivering slightly with his arms wrapped around himself. The Winchesters didn't have the heat on due to John refusing to pay the bill that month, so Dean grabbed a wooly blanket and draped it over Castiel's shoulders.

"Dude, what the hell?" Dean asked as he squatted down in front of the dusty fireplace and tossed some logs into it before rummaging around for a match. 

Castiel shrugged, his lips chapped and his cheeks and ears red. He pulled the blanket tighter around himself and shuddered again, licking his dry lips. "It's a long story."

Dean stood up from his crouch once he got the fire started, and he dusted his hands off and raised his eyebrows. "I've got time." He saw Sam come downstairs, probably to get a snack, but once he saw Castiel there, he smiled a little and gave Dean a subtle thumbs-up before heading back up. Dean rolled his eyes at Sam before taking a seat next to Castiel on the couch, grabbing another blanket that was tossed on the arm of the sofa and wrapping that one around Castiel as well. "So?"

Castiel took a deep breath and closed his eyes, skin littered with goosebumps. Dean had an urge to rub his arms gently to make them go away, but he clenched his fists and forced himself to stay still.

"Is your father here?" Castiel asked suddenly, blue eyes raking over the room.

Dean sighed. "Yeah, he's around." He paused, biting his lip as he looked at Castiel. "Would you rather talk in my room?"

Castiel nodded and stood up, the blankets trailing behind him as they made their way to the stairs. 

When they entered Dean's room, Castiel took a moment to look around before taking a seat at the foot of Dean's bed and pulling his knees up to his chest, blanket still wrapped around him.

Dean sat with his legs criss-crossed at the head of the bed, and raised his eyebrows at Castiel again. This was really concerning. He felt his mind get carried away as he began coming up with several different scenarios of what could've happened. What if he was sick? Or hurt? Or maybe he was just coming to have "their talk" and he just got really cold walking from the car to the door. But that was unreasonable, because Castiel didn't like surprises, so why would he surprise Dean? Something bad must've happened. "You gonna talk?" 

Castiel nodded and Dean could see the muscles in his throat moving as he swallowed. "I - uh - I went to my parent's house earlier. They live about an hour from here," he started.

"Okay," Dean said, listening intently. 

"Things were going fine, my mom made lunch, and one of my brothers, Michael, was there too." He paused for a moment, playing with a loose string of one of the blankets. "Uh, and after we ate, I told everyone I had an announcement to make." 

Dean nodded and leaned in closer. "And the announcement was..." 

"It doesn't matter," Castiel said quickly, shaking his head. "But they got really upset and- "

"Cas." Dean cut him off, looking more serious now. "What was the announcement?" 

Castiel's face flushed and he ran his fingers through his hair a few times. "I told them I was gay," he said, then pulled the blanket over his head, covering his face. 

Dean was shocked for a moment, but he'd already suspected that that would be the announcement, and Castiel had never shown any signs of having a girlfriend or even being interested in girls. "Hey, look at me, it's okay. Finish your story," Dean said, smiling amusedly at the blanket-covered lump that sat on his bed. Every once in a while, Cas would do these really adorable, childish things that were so opposite of what people expected from him. Dean liked it. And honestly, he couldn't care less about Castiel's sexuality. He was still the same Cas, so who cared? 

After a few minutes, Castiel pulled the blanket away, face still bright red. He cleared his throat and rubbed his hands together before speaking again. "A-Anyway, my family is extremely religious. So after I told them, they freaked out. They started yelling at me, and my dad was throwing things, and Michael just stood there quietly, shaking his head. He was /so/ disappointed in me," Castiel's voice shook on that last part, and his lower lip quivered, eyes pooling up. Dean had seen Castiel cry once. Maybe twice. And it wasn't ever for anything as serious as this. His heart ached for the guy. 

"Cas..." Dean said with a frown, reaching out and placing his hand on Castiel's knee. "Michael just sounds like a dick." 

Castiel shook his head and let the tears spill over. "You don't understand because you're the oldest sibling. I look up to him, Dean. He's my big brother. And to see him look at me like that..." Castiel shook his head again and cried some more. 

Dean frowned and just let Cas cry for a moment, his hand still resting on the other's knee. He rubbed it softly and could've sworn he detected a blush. "It's alright, buddy- "

Dean didn't know what he said, but he said something wrong, because Castiel pushed his hand away and pulled the blanket tighter. The two of them sat in awkward, confused silence for a while before Cas continued his story, avoiding eye contact with Dean.

"My mom was nearly crying, she was so upset. She kept telling me that I was just sick, it was just a phase, and that I could get over it if I really tried." He sniffed. "And I told her that I had always been this way. It's just a part of who I am. And I know it's wrong, but- " 

Dean held his hand up, stopping Castiel mid-sentence. "Woah, hold up. It's not wrong at all, Cas. Not one little bit. You're not sick, or broken, or anything. You're just Cas, alright? And who cares if you happen to be attracted to dudes? That's only a small part of who you are."

Castiel stared at Dean for a few moments, wide-eyed, and then nodded. "Oh. Well, yes. I suppose you're right," he said, rubbing at his eyes. "Um, so I got really distressed and ran out of the house without thinking. I left the keys to my car inside, and my phone was inside as well, so I couldn't get into my car /or/ call a cab to pick me up."

Dean's eyes widened. "Don't tell me you walked all the way here," he said, shaking his head. 

"No. Of course not." Castiel said, chuckling bitterly, tears still falling from his red eyes. "But I did walk to the nearest bus stop, then I took a bus here. But the bus had to drop me off about fifteen minutes away from your house, so I had to walk the rest of the way." 

"Oh," Dean said once Castiel's story was over. 

"Yeah," Castiel replied, frowning deeply and wiping his tear-stained cheeks. 

"Well do you wanna stay here for a while? You can stay as long as you want and then I can drive you home whenever," Dean offered, not really knowing what to say to Cas. He was never the best at consoling people. 

Castiel nodded and sniffed, and Dean pulled a tissue out of a box on his nightstand and handed it to Cas. "Thanks," Castiel said, blowing his nose. "And yes. I'd like that." 

***

A few hours later, they were lying side by side on Dean's bed, staring up at the ceiling and talking.

"I'm not trying to nag you, Dean, but Thanksgiving is next Thursday and you haven't given me any word on what your father said." Castiel paused, then continued. "I understand if you don't want me there anymore. I mean, it's obvious you've been ignoring my texts and calls for a few days now..."

Dean sighed and shook his head. "No. I was just being an ass about all that. Really, I'll ask. Soon. In fact..." Dean said, a smile spreading across his face. "In fact," he repeated, "I'll ask right now." Still lying on his back, he cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, "Dad! C'mere!"

"What do you want, Dean?" John asked as he opened the door to Dean's room, a scowl on his face and a beer in his hand. Dean's face paled at the sight of him, but he quickly composed himself and cleared his throat. "I was wondering if...if Cas could come over for Thanksgiving?" 

John rolled his eyes and took a swig of his beer. "Sure. I don't fucking care," he muttered under his breath before walking out of his room and slamming the door behind himself. 

"Was that a yes?" Castiel asked, turning his head to look towards Dean. 

Dean shrugged and nodded, frowning slightly. "I think so." 

***

About an hour later, Dean was driving back from dropping Castiel off at his apartment. He really missed being able to just talk with him without the awkwardness. It was nice. He still felt horrible for Castiel, though. It must really hurt to have your parents scream at you just for being the way you are. 

When Dean was almost home, he decided to make a detour to Charlie's house. He'd been over there several times, and he needed to get some things off his chest. Charlie was a good listener.

When Dean pulled into her driveway, he noticed Benny's car was parked there too. Good. Even better. 

"Hi Mrs. Bradbury," Dean said, grinning at Charlie's mom as she opened the front door and let him in. Charlie was a spitting image of her mother, with the same fiery red hair and bouncy personality. 

"Hi Dean! Haven't seen you in a while," she said, smiling warmly at him as he walked inside. She knew Dean pretty well because he and Charlie had been best friends since the sixth grade. "Charlie and Benny are in the basement."

"Thanks," Dean said with another smile before heading down to the basement to meet his friends. Charlie had turned the place into her "Woman Cave" as she called it, complete with a flat screen television she'd saved up for for years, her costumes for LARPing and cosplaying, and numerous posters and action figures. 

"Hey there, brother," Benny said, standing up from his spot on the couch and clapping Dean on the back with a smile. 

"Dean! What brings you here?" Charlie asked, pausing the movie they were playing and smiling at her friend. 

Dean smiled back at them. "Hey guys. We need to talk," he said, flopping down on the couch and sighing heavily. 

Charlie frowned. "You okay?" 

Dean nodded and waited for Benny to sit down as well before he began talking. "Yeah. Um, don't laugh, but I think I might like someone." 

Charlie screamed, and Benny chuckled softly. "I knew it! What's her name? Is she in our grade?" The redhead asked, eyes filled with excitement. 

"Shh...and no, uh, the name's Cas," he said, not bothering to correct the fact that Charlie said the wrong gender. He wasn't even sure if he was into guys, so he didn't want to tell them that. Not yet, at least.

"Aww...Dean's got a little crush," Benny teased, and Charlie laughed. 

"No, guys, shut up. I don't even know if I like Cas like that. I really don't," Dean said exasperatedly. 

Charlie's laughter simmered down to a giggle and she threw an arm over Dean's shoulders. "It's alright. We're here if you ever need to talk about it." 

"That's right," Benny agreed, nodding. 

Dean smiled slightly and sighed in relief. "Good."

There was silence for a few moments before Charlie spoke up. "Wanna stay for dinner? I think we're having fettuccine." 

"Sure," Dean said with a smile, grabbing the remote and turning on the movie again before sighing in relief. It felt good to finally tell someone.


	20. Chapter 20

The next Thursday. Thanksgiving. Dean was nervous but excited. He was a little anxious of what Ellen, Bobby, and Jo would think of Castiel. He was different than they were, and at first glance, they might consider him to be uptight or snooty. The last thing he wanted was for Castiel to be uncomfortable around his family. Well, technically, Ellen, Jo, and Bobby weren't related to him, but who worried about technicalities? They were close enough to Dean so that he considered them to be family. Dean was serious about his family and loyalty, so it was very rare that he would love anyone enough to accept them as an honorable Winchester. 

Castiel...he was something else entirely. He wouldn't exactly fit in with Dean's family, so Dean just hoped that they would tolerate him and be kind. Dean knew he was probably overreacting. His family didn't judge people. They might think of Castiel to be a little weird, but they wouldn't be mean to him. Or at least, Dean hoped they wouldn't.

Ellen was an aunt to him. She and John had known each other for many many years. She cared about Sam and Dean as if they were her own and loved them to death, but she wouldn't hesitate to call them out if they did something stupid, and she definitely wasn't afraid to tell it like it is.

Joanna, or Jo, Ellen's daughter, had grown up with the boys. She was twelve, a year younger than Sam, but she made up for it with her fiery attitude and quick wit. She obviously didn't care that Dean was five years older than her, because she would hold a debate with him until Dean finally gave in and let her have her way. 

Bobby was Sam and Dean's surrogate father. Without a doubt. He was more of a dad to them than John had been ever since Mary died. When the boys were much younger, and John felt like he needed to "take a break," he would drop his sons off at Bobby's and disappear for weeks at a time. Dean was never bothered, though. The times they spent at Bobby's house were some of the best memories Dean had from his childhood. He always felt a little sad when their dad would come back to pick them up. John never did stop disappearing, but after a while, Sam and Dean stopped going to Bobby's house. By the time Dean was in eighth grade, John had decided that he was old enough to stay home alone and look after Sammy by himself, so when he left to take one of his breaks, Dean had to shoulder a responsibility too heavy for any child to handle. 

But right now, Dean wasn't thinking about any of that. Thanksgiving was easily his favorite holiday, and he was pretty damn excited. It had been quite some time since he'd seen Ellen, Jo, or Bobby, so he was really looking forward to it.

Dean was awake at around ten o'clock. No one would be coming over until around noon, so he had some time to get ready and tidy up the house so it looked at least somewhat presentable. 

The first thing Dean did was hop in the shower and wash up. He took his time, as usual, a thrum of anticipation running under his skin as the water flowed over him. He got excited for Thanksgiving the way that toddlers got excited for Christmas. He loved everything about the holiday- seeing family, cooking together, sharing stories, watching the football game...it was just perfect. 

After Dean got out of the shower, he went to his closet to pull some clothes on. They didn't really dress up for the holiday, usually just wearing pajamas or sweatpants and a t-shirt, so that's exactly what Dean did. After pulling on some comfortable clothes, he headed back to the bathroom to brush his teeth and fix his hair before finally going downstairs to try and clean up the house a little before everyone arrived.

Dean sighed and crossed his arms, looking at the living room, which was where they would probably spend most of their time. It was awful, with food containers and empty beer bottles everywhere, crumbs on the couch, flat pillows, and unfolded blankets that probably hadn't been washed in weeks. Dean sighed again, shaking his head as he walked over and gathered up the blankets in his arms, heading to the laundry room to throw them in the wash. He shivered slightly as he did so. The bill for air conditioning and heating still hadn't been paid, so Dean made a mental note to start up the fireplace before everyone came over to prevent anyone from freezing to death. 

After tossing the blankets in the washing machine, Dean headed back to the living room to start on the cleaning. He pulled the vacuum cleaner out of the hall closet and plugged it in before he began vacuuming the floors, humming to himself as he did so. After a while, he moved on to fluffing the pillows, brushing the crumbs off the couch, wiping the coffee table off, and carrying the empty bottles and food containers to the kitchen so he could deal with them there.

As Dean expected, the kitchen was a mess as well. The counters were covered with sticky spots from food and empty glasses and containers, the sink was piled high with dirty dishes, and the floor desperately needed a sweeping. Dean frowned, set the beer bottles in the trash, and put the containers in the sink before rolling up his sleeves and getting to work. 

A full hour passed before the kitchen was spotless. When Dean was about halfway through, Sam came downstairs, showered and dressed, and helped him finish. 

Dean smiled as he placed the last dish into the dishwasher and closed it. "Whew, finally done," he said, loving that feeling of satisfaction you got when you finished a task which - at first - seemed impossible. 

"Yeah, looks good," Sam agreed, drying his hands off with a towel and giving Dean a smile. "So...when's Cas coming over?" he asked, one eyebrow raised. 

Dean cleared his throat and shifted his weight. "Uh, I told him around twelve-thirty, to give everyone some time to get settled, y'know." He shrugged. 

Sam nodded slowly, smirking slightly. "Cool." 

"What?" Dean asked, eyes narrowed. He noticed something mischevious about the way Sam was acting, and he didn't like it. 

"Nothing," Sam said quickly, giving Dean another smirk before waggling his eyebrows.

Dean frowned. "Dude, what the hell?" he asked gruffly, intent on finding out why Sam was turning into Charlie. 

"Nothing," Sam singsonged as he walked to the fridge and pulled out an apple, taking a bite before heading back toward the stairs. "I'll be back in a minute. I wanna call Jess and tell her happy Thanksgiving." He grinned at Dean before taking another bite of his apple and running upstairs.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Alright, but don't be all day. They'll be here soon." He paused. "And don't eat all those apples! They're for pie!" he added once Sam was upstairs, cupping his hands around his mouth. 

Once Sam was upstairs, Dean made his way to the living room to get the fireplace set up. 

***

About forty minutes later, the doorbell rang. John was up by then, so he was the one to answer the door. Sam and Dean stood up from where they were watching the parade on tv and walked to the door to see who it was. 

"Hey Bobby!" Dean greeted upon seeing him, pulling him into a firm hug after Bobby finished saying hello to John. "Long time." It had been a long time, at least a few months since Dean had last seen the guy. He missed him. 

"Good to see ya, Dean," Bobby replied with a smile, clapping Dean's shoulder before moving on to Sam. "So, I heard you got yourself a girlfriend, huh?" he teased, and Sam blushed furiously. 

"Hi Bobby," Sam said, ignoring his comment and instead smiling and reaching out to get a hug as well. 

***

A few minutes after that, the doorbell rang again. Dean's stomach lurched, thinking it could be Castiel, before he glanced at his watch and saw that it was only twelve-fifteen. Castiel rarely arrived early or late. Knowing him, he would be here right at twelve-thirty. 

Dean opened the door with a wide grin, and his grin only grew wider when he saw Ellen and Jo standing there. God...he hadn't realized how much he'd been missing these people until now. 

"Dean!" Ellen greeted, smiling just as widely and hugging Dean briefly before pulling back and patting him on the cheek. "You look thinner. Has he been feeding you?" she asked, eyes twinkling in that 'Ellen' sort of way as she jerked a thumb in the direction of John. 

Dean chuckled softly and rolled his eyes, nodding in affirmation as Ellen moved on to Sam, commenting on how tall he'd gotten and complaining about how long his hair was. Dean resisted the urge to laugh out loud. She thought that was long? Sam had just gotten a haircut the day before. She should've seen it then. 

"Well?" Dean asked with a smirk, looking down at Jo - who was carrying several bags of food, presumably - and holding his arms out for a hug. 

Jo gave him a little smile and an eye roll before she walked inside, placing the bags on the counter before walking over to Dean and hugging him back. "She made me carry all those bags," Jo complained after pulling away, running her fingers through her blonde hair and shaking her head. "I feel like Cinderella." 

"Quit bitchin'," Dean laughed, laughing even harder when Jo stuck her tongue out at him.

"Watch your mouth, son," Ellen reprimanded teasingly, winking at Dean from across the room, where she'd just finished saying her hellos to John. 

***

A little before twelve-thirty, Dean cleared his throat and paused the tv, getting everyone's attention. 

"Uh, so I've got this friend coming to spend today with us. He'll be here soon. He's - um - a little weird," Dean swallowed hard, "So just...be nice. I'm talking to you, Jo," he added, smiling at the blonde.

Jo opened her mouth to retaliate, but Bobby cut her off. "Must be a pretty special friend you got if you want him to spend Thanksgiving with us." 

Dean blushed slightly and swallowed again. "Well, yeah. Yeah, I'd say he's pretty special." 

Bobby raised both eyebrows in question and Dean realized his mistake, quickly shaking his head. 

"No, Bobby, no. Not like that." Dean's blush deepened. "I mean he's just special because he's uh, a good friend, and - " 

The doorbell rang and Dean quickly stood up, happy to remove himself from the situation. He heard chuckles behind him and he groaned, wanting to disappear or go hide in a corner. Why did everyone assume he was in love with Cas? Because he wasn't. He might have a little crush on the guy, but even that was unlikely. Dean was still trying to work out how he felt. He liked girls. Dean had never shown any attraction before to any other guys (not counting Dr. Sexy), so it was irrational that he would have the hots for Cas, and only Cas, right? 

Dean shook his head to clear his thoughts before smiling and opening the door for Castiel. He had to stifle a laugh when he saw that the poor guy had gotten all dressed up. He was wearing slacks, his brown shoes, and a argyle sweater that made him look like an absolute dork. A cute one, Dean thought. 

"Hey Cas," he said amusedly, "come in." 

Castiel obliged, walking inside, smiling widely. "Hello Dean. Happy Thanksgiving," he replied, following Dean to the living room where the rest of the family was. 

"Yeah, back at you, Cas," Dean said, chuckling softly and standing beside Castiel as they entered the room. He licked his lips nervously and took a deep breath. "Alright guys, this is Castiel. Cas, this is Ellen, Bobby, and Jo. You remember my dad and Sam." 

Castiel nodded, smiling at them genuinely. "It's very nice to meet all of you. Dean's told me a lot about his family." 

"Castiel? Weird name," Jo commented, ignoring the glare Dean sent her way. 

Luckily, Castiel just chuckled. He was probably used to getting that comment whenever he first met someone. "Yes, it is, isn't it? I'm named after an angel. All my siblings are." 

Jo nodded. "Cool." 

"Why don't you have a seat, Cas?" John offered, raising his eyebrows.

Before Castiel could do as suggested, Ellen stopped him. "Hold on, son. Dean, take him up to your room and give him some comfortable clothes to wear. No need to stay in that monkey suit all day." 

Castiel looked down at his own outfit and shrugged. "Yes, that would be nice. My family always dresses up for holidays, so I wasn't sure."

"Well you're a part of our family today," Bobby said, nodding, "So let Dean get you into something suitable," he said with a chuckle. 

Dean nodded, grabbing Castiel by the wrist and tugging him toward the stairs. "C'mon," he said, closing the door once they were in his bedroom. 

"They're not as bad as you made them seem. They're pretty quiet. And polite," Castiel observed as Dean rummaged through his closet for some clothes. 

Dean snorted. "Wait and see." 

*** 

About an hour later, everyone was in the kitchen cooking. Castiel was wearing some more comfortable clothes, and Dean thought he fit in the family nicely. Sure, he was a little quieter than they were, but every time they asked a question, he was happy to answer. 

"/You/ have a girlfriend, Sam?" Jo asked in disbelief from where she was standing at the counter helping Sam roll out the dough for the pie. 

Sam stopped rolling and turned to look at her. "Yes. Does that surprise you?" 

"Honestly? A little," she said, laughing. Her laugh was cut short when Sam flicked some flour into her face. 

Jo quickly got him back, grabbing a handful of flour and rubbing it into Sam's hair. 

"Jo!" He squealed, grabbing a whole bunch of flour with two hands and tossing it at her, covering her in the powdery stuff. "Not the hair!" 

"Joanna Beth Harvelle," Ellen said, walking over to the two of them and taking the bag of flour away. "Cut it out. Now." 

"What?" Jo asked, jaw dropping as she gestured to Sam. "He started it!" 

"Both of you, stop," John said, chuckling from where he was placing the turkey into the oven. 

Bobby rolled his eyes, smiling at the two youngest. "Idgits." 

Castiel and Dean were working on peeling potatoes for mashed potatoes, and he turned to look at Dean, a fond smile on his face. "This is fun. Your family is awesome." 

Dean couldn't help but feel a little proud and relieved at that. Cas liked his family. Good. "I know." 

***

A little while later, all the food was cooking, and the whole family was on the couch, watching the football game. Dean wasn't really rooting for either of the teams, so instead, he was focusing on how close Castiel was sitting to him. Their thighs were nearly pressed together. 

"So, Castiel, how old are you?" Bobby asked raising his eyebrows at the dark-haired boy. Dean groaned inwardly. This wasn't interrogation. Actually, it probably was something close to interrogation, but he didn't like to call it that. His family did this every time Dean introduced them to someone. He knew it was coming. 

"Twenty," Castiel answered, turning his head to look at Bobby. 

"You in college?" He asked next, and Castiel nodded. 

"What's your major?" 

"Business," Castiel started. "But- "

"But he doesn't like it. He's just doing it to make his parents happy. Which I think is stupid, not because you shouldn't want your parents to be happy, but because you're the one who's gonna have to do that job for the rest of your life," Dean finished for him.

Ellen raised her eyebrows at that. "Sure sounds like you care a lot about Castiel, huh?" 

Dean blushed and ran his fingers through his hair, risking a glance at Castiel, whose face was just as red. "Well, yeah. I mean...he's always been there for me," Dean said honestly, avoiding looking at Cas. "Really. You guys don't know how many times he's helped me out of some really tough situations. He's a great guy, I just want him to be happy. He deserves that much." 

"Sounds like you're talkin' 'bout a girl," Bobby commented, eyebrows raised as well. 

Dean glanced at Castiel again, who was staring at the ground, face red. "I have to go to the bathroom," he said, obviously feeling a bit flustered. 

Right down the hall, second door on the right," Sam replied, pointing Castiel in the direction of the bathroom before turning to Dean and waggling his eyebrows again. 

"Can you all just stop? You're being really embarrassing," Dean huffed in frustration, glaring at his family members. "Why are you acting like this anyway? You're making him uncomfortable."

"Ask Sam," Jo chuckled from where she was sitting, splotches of flour still covering her shirt and face.

Dean turned to Sam, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Wanna explain?" 

"Nah, not really," Sam said with a shrug, laughing along with Jo. 

Now Dean was really getting mad. Sam had obviously told the family something about Castiel, and Dean was not okay with that. At all. 

"While you were answering the door, Sam told us that you and Castiel are in love," John said, rolling his eyes and sipping his beer. 

Dean's eyes widened. What the hell? What the hell made Sam even think that in the first place? He was not gay. He wasn't. Not for Castiel, not for anybody. He was sure of it now. Dean liked girls. He liked tits and curves, long hair and full lips. Castiel had none of that. So Dean didn't like him, and that was that. However, even while Dean was saying this to himself, a tiny corner of his heart was screaming the exact opposite. 

"What the fuck, Sam?" Dean asked, turning to face his little brother now, face hot with anger and chagrin. 

Sam swallowed hard and shrugged. "It was just a joke..." He frowned.

Dean exhaled deeply and shook his head, standing up, still glaring at Sam. "Well it's not a funny one!" 

"Dude, chill..." Jo added from across the room. "Have a sense of humor." 

Ellen stood up and placed a hand on Dean's back, looking at him with complete concern in her eyes. "You alright?" 

Dean nodded and sat back down, folding his arms over his chest and nodding. He overreacted. He knew he had. He didn't want to ruin Thanksgiving, so he turned to face Sam and gave him a small, almost undetectable smile. "Sorry for yelling..." He said quietly. 

Sam shrugged again. "It was just a joke. You were supposed to laugh." 

Dean sighed heavily, feeling like all eyes were on him. "I know, okay? I said sorry." 

Just then, Castiel awkwardly walked back into the room, taking his seat next to Dean silently, as if he could feel the tension. 

Bobby finally broke the silence with another question. "So, um, Castiel? How do you know Dean?" 

Castiel sighed slightly, obviously glad to be relieved of the awkward silence. "I used to tutor Dean in math." 

"Yeah," Dean said, nodding and smiling slightly, feeling the mood in the room lighten again. "He was a great tutor. Really smart, too," he said, directing the comment toward his father. "I learned a lot." 

John ignored Dean's deliberate attempt to get him to switch tutors back and instead just nodded.

***

A few hours later, they were all sitting on the couch again, plates of food in their laps and watching the football game as they ate. 

"This is so different from my family. At my house, it was always a formal event," Castiel commented as he took a bite of the turkey. "This is great, by the way." 

Ellen chuckled and nodded. "Yeah. We do things differently here. Better, if you ask me." 

Castiel nodded quickly. "Yes. Definitely better." 

"So, what do your parents do?" John asked, tearing his eyes away from the screen and looking at Cas. 

"My father is a pastor and my mother runs a daycare. They're on a mission trip right now, which is why I didn't have anyone to spend Thanksgiving with. That is...until Dean invited me here," he said, giving Dean a fond smile.

Dean returned the smile and nodded. "Yep. You should come over every year." 

"We'll see," Castiel said wistfully, staring into Dean's eyes for too long before clearing his throat and looking away, Dean doing the same. Apparently, the whole family had noticed the intense eye contact, because John's next question reflected that.

He took a sip of his beer - another beer, Dean noticed - and then nodded in Castiel's direction. "You got a girlfriend?" 

Castiel bit his lip and ran his fingers through his hair, obviously nervous. Dean was nervous for him. He'd never really known his family's opinions on homosexuality and all that, and he almost didn't want to know. 

"No. Uh...actually, I came out to my parents a few days ago," he said cautiously, blinking quickly as he waited for a response. 

"Good for you, son," John said, reaching over to clap him on the back. The rest of the family had similar reactions, which surprised Dean. In a good way. A very, very good way. 

Castiel smiled, pleased, and shrugged slightly. "I suppose. They didn't take it very well at all, though." 

Bobby shook his head. "Assholes. If they really love you, they'll eventually see that you're still the same guy." 

"Yeah, that's what I'm hoping for," Castiel said, still smiling. Dean was smiling too. He was so surprised that his family reacted that way. Not that he thought they were homophobic or anything, they had just never expressed their thoughts on the subject, so Dean assumed they weren't comfortable with it. This was great. 

***

After everyone had finished dinner, it was time for dessert. Dean, of course, had a heaping plate of pie, and to no one's surprise, he finished it all within fifteen minutes and went back for more. 

Castiel laughed at the sight. "Well, I knew you liked pie, but I didn't know you liked it /that/ much." 

"Oh, you have no idea," Sam said, laughing as well. He stopped laughing abruptly and hurried into the kitchen, coming back a minute later with the wishbone from the turkey. He held one side and walked over to Dean, holding the other side out to him. 

Dean smiled and grabbed the other side of the wishbone. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot about this," he said, pulling his side and closing his eyes, making a wish. Whoever got the larger half of the wishbone would have their wish come true. When Dean heard the snap, he opened his eyes and laughed when he saw he got the bigger half. "Hey!" He exclaimed, grinning widely. His wish was that every day could be like this, this carefree and relaxed. 

"That's not fair," Sam grumbled. 

Dean nodded. "Yeah it is. It's because I'm your elder. The wishbone knows that. It respects me," he joked, waving his half in Sam's face. 

"Shut up. Jerk," Sam scowled at his brother. 

"Bitch," Dean retaliated, glancing next to him at Castiel, who still had a half of a slice of pie on his plate that he obviously wasn't going to eat. 

Dean chuckled and grabbed Castiel's fork, scooping up a large portion for himself. "Don't mind if I do," he smiled, shoving the dessert into his mouth.

Castiel grinned. "Wow. I guess you do like it /that/ much." 

*** 

Several hours later, at about two o'clock AM, Castiel, Dean, and Ellen were the only ones awake. John had crashed on the couch first, Sam was next, then Bobby, and Jo followed close behind. Ellen was working on cleaning the kitchen, and despite Castiel and Dean's protests, she refused any help. Therefore, Castiel and Dean were just sitting on the floor by the fireplace, talking. The room had an almost eerie glow to it this late at night, when the tv was off and the lights were dim. It was quiet, the only sounds to be heard were Ellen in the kitchen, the soft snores of people around them, and their own voices. 

"I like your family," Castiel said, staring at the fireplace. 

Dean nodded, staring at Castiel. He could see the reflection of the flames dancing in Castiel's blue eyes, and it was beautiful. In a totally platonic way. "So do I." 

Castiel glanced at his watch and sighed. "It's really late. I should probably get going." 

"You're kidding, right?" Ellen asked from where she'd walked over, drying her hands on a dish rag as she made her way into the living room. "You're not driving home, alone, at two in the morning. I won't allow it." 

Castiel smiled slightly. "You want me to stay here? Where will I sleep? The couch looks full. And I wouldn't want to be a burden." 

Ellen shook her head. "No, hon, you're not a burden. Everyone sleeps over on Thanksgiving. It's tradition." 

Dean smiled. "You can have Sam's room for the night. Looks like he's staying down here. And I'm sure he won't mind." 

"Are you sure?" Castiel asked again, needing to be one hundred percent positive that this was okay. 

"Definitely," Ellen replied. 

Castiel yawned, stretching his arms up and nodding. "Okay. Well, Dean, if you could show me to Sam's room, that would be great. I'm tired." He stood up, walking over to Ellen and smiling at her. "You're very kind. Thank you." 

Ellen beamed, shaking her head. "You're sweet. Now go on upstairs. Rest." 

"You sure you don't need any help cleaning?" Dean asked on his way up, raising his eyebrows at Ellen. 

Ellen shook her head, ruffling Dean's hair and patting his cheek like she'd been doing since he was a baby. "Nope. I'm just about done. You go get some rest too." 

Dean wouldn't argue with that. He walked upstairs with Castiel, showing him to Sam's room. 

"I had a great time with you tonight, Dean. I just thought I'd tell you," Castiel said, yawning again, voice thick with sleep. 

Dean chuckled softly, flicking the light off as he stepped into the hallway. "I had a great time too, Cas. Go to sleep."


	21. Chapter 21

Dean woke up late the next morning, at about eleven-thirty. He could hear some voices downstairs. One was probably Sam, who always woke up at like eight, but the other one was quite deeper and rougher than Sammy's. Cas. Dean smiled and sat up, yawning and stretching his arms before he dragged himself out of bed and to the bathroom to brush his teeth before heading downstairs. 

Sam and Castiel were sitting side by side on the couch, laughing and chatting like they were best friends. When they noticed Dean, however, the conversation came to an abrupt halt. Which was concerning. Very concerning. 

"Good morning, Dean," Castiel said with a wide smile, cheeks flushed. He seemed too happy. 

Dean frowned slightly and walked over to the couch, plopping himself right in between them and tossing an arm over both of their shoulders. "Mornin' Cas, mornin' Sammy. How long have you guys been up?" He asked, trying to sound casual when really, he was trying to figure out just what they'd been talking about right before he came down.

Castiel shrugged, that stupid, annoying bright grin that gave Dean butterflies still shining on his face. "I was awake at about seven, and Sam got up a few minutes after."

"Seven? On vacation?" Dean sucked his teeth and shook his head. "That can't be healthy." 

Sam rolled his eyes and chuckled. "I'm pretty sure it's healthier than sleeping in all day. And we actually went for a run." 

"A run? Seriously?" Dean paused, face twisted in confusion. "Why would you do that?" 

"Because some people like fitness, Dean," Sam replied, laughing. 

Dean shook his head, feigning disbelief. "Well I just don't understand," he joked, then paused for a moment. "So are you two like...besties now, or something?" He asked, not knowing how jealous he probably sounded until the words had already left his mouth. He bit his tongue. 

Castiel furrowed his brow slightly. "We were just talking. Sam is an excellent conversationalist. Especially for someone so young." 

"Talking about what, exactly?" Dean asked, pulling his arms back and folding them over his chest. 

"Stuff," Sam replied with an air of nonchalance that got under Dean's skin.

Dean huffed. "What stuff?" 

Castiel opened his mouth to respond, but then quickly closed it again, blushing. 

A smirk crossed over Sam's face and Dean could've sworn he saw him share a knowing glance with Castiel. Oh, this wasn't how it worked. "Just stuff. Don't worry about it, Dean." 

Dean's frown deepened and his forehead creased. "Assholes." 

Castiel stifled a laugh, pretending it was a loud, exaggerated cough. "It is - " He fucking /giggled/, then quickly turned it into another cough, "It is nothing of import." 

"You're both annoying." Dean sighed heavily and rolled his eyes, standing up and walking over to the kitchen to see if there was anything to eat. Probably leftovers. "Anyone else up?" He asked after deciding that apple pie was a good breakfast option. He sliced himself a large piece before popping it in the microwave for seven seconds (cold apple pie was unacceptable) and then carrying it back into the living room and taking his seat again.

Sam shook his head, making a face at Dean's breakfast. "No. And uh...that's not very healthy, Dean."

Dean frowned and punched Sam lightly on the shoulder. "Shut up. It's got apples in it. So it's healthy."

"You're lucky you're cute," Castiel muttered, and Sam laughed loudly. 

Dean groaned internally. The two of them being friends was definitely not working out. But more importantly...Cas had called him cute. Okay, so maybe he meant it as a joke, or in a friendly way, but it still made those butterflies flutter around. "Huh?" He asked, face red as he turned to Castiel.

"Yes, Dean?" Castiel asked, turning to him with raised eyebrows as if nothing odd just happened. 

Dean bit his lip, squirming uncomfortably in his spot. "Uh...what you just said..."

Castiel gave Dean a smile. "Oh, I was kidding. You know I think you're very smart."

Dean swallowed hard and shook his head. Damn. Was he gonna have to spell it out for the guy? Sam obviously had a clue, because he was sitting there, just watching with a little smirk on his face. Dean cleared his throat. "No, not about that. You - uh..." He sighed and shook his head, stuffing a piece of pie in his mouth to distract himself from the pounding of his heart. What the hell was this? Not again. Nope. "Nevermind." 

"Is everything okay?" Castiel asked, his ocean eyes suddenly filled with concern. He placed a light hand on Dean's shoulder and squeezed it gently, hand resting there.

Sam hummed loudly and stood up, making a show of heading toward the stairs. "Uh, I think I left my phone in my room. I'll be back," he said, giving Castiel a not-at-all subtle wink before he bounded up the stairs. 

Dean frowned at Sam and felt tingly heat spread from where Castiel's hand rested, as if he was branding the shape of his handprint onto his skin. It was a weird feeling. Dean didn't like it. He'd told himself that he was over Castiel. Wrong use of words. He was never /on/ Castiel. He'd thought he maybe had a teeny tiny little crush on the guy, but he'd never had the slightest attraction to any other male before, so how could that be? It couldn't be. That's how. At least...that's what Dean thought until he looked into those eyes, ran his fingers through that unkempt dark hair, or heard that rough, rumbling voice. And then he wasn't so sure anymore. 

"Dean?" Castiel looked very concerned now, shaking Dean's shoulder lightly to get his attention. He tilted his head to the side and frowned. "Hey, what's the matter? You seem to be...elsewhere." He paused. "Is this about what Sam and I were talking about? Because I promise, it's no big deal." 

'You're the matter. You're the matter, Cas,' Dean wanted to say. But he held his tongue and instead offered up his most convincing smile and shrugged. "Nothing's up. Just thinking." Sometimes lying was better than the truth. Because if Dean really did admit how he'd been feeling those past several weeks, then everything would spiral downhill. What were the odds that a college student as smart, kind, beautiful, funny, and generous as Castiel would ever do so much as give a stupid highschool kid like Dean a second glance?

Castiel did that thing where he stared at Dean, eyes searching as if he could read Dean like a book. After what seemed like forever, he finally nodded and spoke. "Well...okay."

Dean nodded and continued to eat his pie. The two of them sat in awkward silence for a while before Castiel moved his hand to Dean's knee - he was being very touchy today, Dean noticed - and spoke up again. 

"We should go out," he said suddenly, thumb tapping Dean's thigh. 

Dean was taken by surprise. What the hell? Did Castiel just ask him to be...his boyfriend? "Uh..." He felt panic begin to creep up his chest and his face drained of color. Castiel must've noticed, because he laughed nervously and quickly corrected himself. 

"I mean, we should go out...like to a movie or out to eat or something."

Dean let out a sigh of relief he didn't even know he was holding, and he grinned, feeling the anxiety ease just a bit. "Oh. Oh, yeah definitely. I thought you meant something else." He felt stupid now. Of course his mind had jumped to the conclusion that Castiel was trying to ask him out on a /real/ date, when Castiel's intentions were probably one-hundred percent platonic. 

Castiel took his hand away from Dean's knee and sighed heavily. "Dean...is there something going on with you? Things don't seem the same between us anymore." He raised his eyebrows and looked Dean in the eye as if he already knew what the answer was, and he was just trying to get Dean to say it. 

Dean clenched his teeth ad shook his head. "Nope," he lied simply, and he knew it was an obvious lie. Because nowadays, Dean was cautious around Castiel. He had to be careful not to let his emotions get out of check.

Castiel scooted even closer to Dean and gave him a serious look, barely an inch of space now between them on the couch. "Because, Dean, if there is something going on...anything...you can tell me and I won't be upset. You know that, right?" He asked, using the same tone as before. 

Dean inhaled deeply, breathing in the unique scent of Castiel that he couldn't possibly describe but he could identify him by it if his eyes were closed. "Right," he whispered slowly, and without thinking, leaned in a bit and tilted his head to the side.

Castiel's eyes widened slightly and he did the same, their faces only a few inches apart before Dean heard heavy footsteps enter the room, and he quickly pulled back, face red and heart pounding. 

Bobby froze when he entered the room, and he cleared his throat. "Uh...sorry boys. Wasn't tryin' to interrupt nothin'," he said, a small smile forming on his face. 

Dean quickly stood up and busied himself with brushing apple pie crust crumbs off his lap before carrying the plate to the kitchen and placing it in the sink. "Nope. Nope, you didn't interrupt anything. Cas was just...Cas was just leaving," Dean said, confused, upset, and and embarrassed. That did not just happen. There was no way that just happened. 

"I was?" Castiel asked, little frown between his eyebrows as he stood up and turned to Dean, eyes still wide. 

"Uh, yeah. You were," Dean said, swallowing the lump he could feel forming in his throat. He knew it was rude to just boot Castiel out like this, but he was panicking, and the last person he needed to see was Castiel Novak.

Castiel sighed and his shoulders slumped. He moved to retrieve his fancy clothes from the counter, where he'd folded them and placed them neatly in a bag. "Well...I guess I'm leaving," he said to Bobby, sounding dejected. 

Bobby folded his arms over his chest and shook his head, taking the bag away from Castiel and setting it back on the counter. "No, you're gonna stay." He turned to Dean. "What the hell, boy? I'm surprised at you, just kicking him out like that. That's not how this family works, and you know that."

Great. Dean had just made a fool of himself, again. His morning was getting worse and worse as it went on. "Sorry," he muttered, scrubbing a hand over his face and through his hair. 

Castiel didn't look much better, the circles under his eyes seeming to show through more clearly. "It's quite alright, Dean. I think I'll just...go upstairs and speak with Sam," he said, giving Dean a half-hearted smile and nodding at Bobby before heading up. 

Once Castiel was completely out of sight, Bobby turned to Dean, his expression both sympathetic and stern. "You know...if there's anything you wanna talk about, I'm open." Dean opened his mouth to respond, but Bobby held up a hand and stopped him. "Don't even try and lie. I know what I saw when I came down here. If you don't wanna talk about it, fine. But it doesn't seem like you're handling it too well on your own." 

Dean sighed and buried his face in his hands, and a few minutes later, he took a deep breath and looked back up at Bobby. "Don't tell anyone."

"Cross my heart."

Dean swallowed hard and nodded. He could trust Bobby. "Okay, well...I think I've got a little crush on Castiel."

"I gathered," Bobby answered, leaning against the counter. 

"But..." Dean took another deep breath, "but I'm not gay. I've never liked guys, ever. The thought never even crossed my mind. So I must just be confused, right?"

Bobby thought about that for a moment before shaking his head. "Not necessarily. Have you ever heard the term 'bisexual', Dean?"

Dean blushed slightly and nodded. 

"Alright, well, most people begin to question their sexuality at around your age. So it's not too weird, just now having these feelings," he explained. 

"Right. But, it's just...weird." Dean sighed and groaned in frustration. "I just...I'm not used to this." He paused. "And how do you even know so much about this stuff?"

"I've been around a long time, Dean," Bobby chuckled softly. "When you're as old as me, you meet people. And you learn things."

Dean nodded. "Oh." He paused and frowned, rubbing the back of his neck. "This is all new to me. It just feels wrong." He shook his head when he realized how that sounded. "I'm not saying that it /is/ wrong, it's just - y'know..."

Bobby smiled slightly and clapped Dean on the shoulder. "I know. But just don't lead him on. Because what I saw when I came down? That wasn't okay. You realize you're kinda toying with the boy's feelings, don't you?"

Dean groaned. He could see how that was true, and now he felt even worse. And especially after trying to kick Cas out... "I feel awful."

Bobby nodded and walked over, cutting Dean another huge slice of pie. "Here. Eat this and think things over. I'm not saying you have to go tell Castiel everything you just told me, but keep these things in mind. Alright?"

Dean nodded, and Bobby gave him a smile before heading back to the living room. 

"Hey Bobby?" Dean stopped him, biting his lip. 

Bobby turned around and raised both eyebrows at Dean. 

"Thanks," Dean said, swallowing hard before clearing his throat and turning away again. He couldn't believe he just told Bobby all that. Sure, Bobby was a father to him, and he definitely had some good advice, but opening up to people always left Dean with this weird...empty feeling. It felt good to finally get things off his chest, but he still felt a bit off. He knew he would only feel better once he talked to Castiel. But he wasn't ready. He still hadn't yet fully accepted who he was, so he needed to just mull it over. But he needed to apologize now. That was necessary. 

***

"Can I talk to Cas?" Dean asked, opening Sam's door and peering inside. Sam was sitting on his bed, and Castiel was sitting on the carpet, back leaned against the wall as he and Sam chatted. 

Sam nodded, sharing another one of those looks with Castiel before the dark-haired man stood up and walked over to Dean, stepping into the hallway with him. 

Castiel carded his fingers through his disheveled hair and blinked at Dean, waiting for him to say something. 

Dean leaned against the wall and sucked in a deep breath through his nose. "Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to kick you out like that. Especially after..." he trailed off. 

Castiel's teeth pressed into his bottom lip and he shook his head. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want- " 

Castiel didn't get to finish his sentence, because then, in a complete act of impulse, Dean had surged forward and pressed his lips to Castiel's, hands resting on the other's shoulders. 

Castiel made a surprised noise against Dean's lips, but he didn't pull away, instead closing his eyes and moving his hands up to cup Dean's face as they kissed. 

After a few seconds, Dean pulled away, breathless and red-faced. He just kissed Castiel. Another guy. And he liked it. It felt like he was having his first kiss all over again. The point where their lips connected felt electric. It felt right. 

Castiel was just as breathless as Dean. He took his hands away from Dean's face and opened and closed his mouth a few times before he finally came up with something to say. "So - uh, what does this make us?" He paused. "Boyfriends?"

"No." Dean stopped him quickly. "I mean, I don't want to put a label on it. Not yet. I'm still...figuring things out."

Castiel seemed a bit crestfallen at that, but he nodded. "That makes sense. I understand."

"Good," Dean said, finally taking his hands off Castiel's shoulders and taking a deep breath. Okay. This was good. He felt like he was finally getting somewhere.


	22. Chapter 22

The next week, Dean was back in school. It was a Wednesday, and he was getting home from a long day. He and Castiel hadn't seen each other since Thanksgiving, but surprisingly, it wasn't awkward. They texted each other practically twenty-four/seven, and talked on the phone into the late hours of the night. Dean had actually been really happy, which was a weird feeling for him. It made him feel like something bad was bound to happen. His grades had gone up just a little, but Dean wasn't even worried about that anymore. Everything else in his life was going well for once, so he felt like that would eventually fall into place as well. 

Dean stepped inside the house, sighing heavily because he knew Ms. Porter was going to be there. She was always there right on time, and if she wasn't, then Dean could expect her to be there very soon. He said a quick hello to Sam before walking to the living room to start on his tutoring. To his surprise, Ms. Porter was not there. Weird. He walked back into the kitchen and over to the fridge, deciding to get a snack, since he had the time. 

Sam suddenly put his pencil down and looked over at Dean. "Oh, Dad told me to tell you that Ms. Porter quit. She's not gonna tutor you anymore."

Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise and turned away from the fridge, folding his arms over his chest. "Really?" he asked, a smile spreading across his face. No way. This was /too/ good. Sam had to be kidding. "Why?"

Sam's face broke into a slight smile as well. "No idea. But guess what else? Cas is gonna tutor you again. Starting Friday."

Dean's jaw dropped. "Are you sure? Dad told you that?" He couldn't believe it. Why would his dad just change his mind like that all of a sudden? It didn't make any sense, but Dean wasn't complaining. 

Sam nodded, a smug smile on his face as he looked back down at his work. "Yup. So that means you have the afternoon off."

Dean chuckled softly. "Awesome. I'm gonna go take a nap."

Sam shook his head quickly, standing up to stop Dean before he disappeared to go upstairs. "Wait. You...you haven't seen Cas in a while, have you? Maybe you two should hang out. Go over to his place or something." He bit his lip. 

Dean narrowed his eyes slightly. "Okay...I'll text him."

"Good." Sam sighed softly and sat back down to finish up his homework. 

Dean nodded, still a bit confused and a little bit suspicious of how his brother was acting. He didn't read too much into it though, because he was too happy that Ms. Porter was no longer a part of his life. "I should probably tell Dad where I'm going. Where is he?"

"Dad's at work," Sam replied, not looking up from his work. 

Dean was taken by surprise. Dad hadn't gone to work in a few weeks at least. The only reason he hadn't been fired was because he worked with Bobby, who always had a soft spot for John. "Huh. Okay. Well, I guess I'll see ya. You're okay on your own until I get back?" He asked seriously, raising an eyebrow at his little brother.

Sam rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. "Yes, Dean. I'm fine."

Dean grinned and ruffled Sam's hair before walking out to his car, pulling his coat tighter around him due to the whipping wind and icy cold. 

Once he got to his car, he got inside and buckled up, sending a quick text to Castiel before he started it up. 

'Hey. Can I come over? -DW'

He waited for a reply before he started to drive, and he didn't have to wait very long before he got a reply. 

'Yes. Is everything okay? -CN' 

Dean smirked slightly as he sent his next reply. 

'Yup. Just wanted to see you. -DW'

He didn't wait for a reply this time, instead pulling out of the driveway and heading to Castiel's house, humming to himself. He knew the address by heart now, so it didn't take long for him to get there. 

Dean smiled to himself as he reached Castiel's door, knocking a few times before it opened. 

"Hey," he said with a grin, stepping inside and looking around. Castiel had obviously not been expecting company, because his hair was a mess, he was wearing an oversized navy blue sweatshirt and plaid pajama pants, and the apartment was a little untidy. Dean thought it was kinda cute. And he still found it weird that he could even think that about another guy.

Castiel smiled back, closing the door once Dean was inside. "Hello Dean. I apologize for the mess."

Dean chuckled softly. It was actually nice to see Castiel like this. It felt like Cas was finally comfortable enough with him to let his guard down and get rid of the stiff, straight-laced personality he always held around people he didn't know as well. "Don't worry about it." He walked over to the familiar, comfortable black couch and took a seat, sighing softly. 

Castiel followed him, standing beside the couch. "Would you like some hot chocolate? It's very cold today."

"Sure," Dean nodded, giving Castiel a warm smile. This all just felt so right. He was still really confused about liking guys, but if it was wrong, then why did Dean feel so happy and content? Although they hadn't put a label on it yet, and they'd only kissed once, it still felt like some barrier had been crossed, and the uncomfortable tension they had around each other was gone. 

A few minutes later, Castiel came back with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate, handing one to Dean before sitting down beside him.

Dean smiled, blowing on the hot liquid before taking a sip. "Thanks." He paused, just taking a moment to relish in the happiness he was feeling at that moment. Ms. Porter was gone, Cas was his tutor again, he was starting to get a grasp on his feelings, and his grades weren't quite as bad as they were before. Which reminded him... "Hey, did you know you're tutoring me again?" He asked with a grin. "I can't believe it. Kinda weird that Ms. Porter would just call it quits like that, huh?

Castiel seemed to blush slightly at that, but Dean pretended not to notice. "Ah, yes. Your father called me about that earlier today. I'm very happy. We're going to work hard and get your grades back up. I know you can do it."

Dean smiled slightly and nodded, bringing his mug up to his lips again. "Yeah, I hope so. You sure do have a lot of faith in me."

Castiel furrowed his brow and tilted his head to the side slightly. "Why wouldn't I? You have so much potential. You just have to put forth the effort."

Dean blushed and chuckled softly, shaking his head and setting the half-full mug on the coffee table in front of them. "I don't know. Not many people seem to think that."

"Well I do," Castiel said, meeting Dean's eyes and giving him a serious look. "Dean, you are surrounded by people who love and care for you. You just have to look. There's Sam, your father, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, your friends..." He paused and ran his fingers through his hair as his cheeks pinked a little. "And me, of course." He seemed to hesitate for a moment before bringing his hand up to cup Dean's cheek, still looking at him in the eye. "You are going to do great things."

Dean could only listen, wide-eyed as Castiel spoke. He remembered the jealousy he felt at his brother's science fair, when John had said those exact words to Sam. He never thought he'd hear someone say them to him. More than once, Castiel had said encouraging things to Dean that instantly made him feel confident, like he really could accomplish anything. Cas just had a way with words that made Dean's heart melt. He would make a wonderful author. "Oh...thanks, Cas. You're just- I don't know. You're the best."

Now it was Castiel's turn to look away sheepishly and blush, his hand leaving Dean's face. "Well, I don't know about that."

Dean smiled and scooted a bit closer to him. "Well you are." He leaned in and kissed his cheek, just because he could. He grinned at how Castiel's cheek reddened where Dean had kissed. "And..." He paused, biting his lip. "And I think you should think about dropping business school."

"Dean..." Castiel sighed, sipping his hot chocolate. "We've talked about this. You know very well why I can't do that."

"Your parents. Right." Dean frowned, sighing as well. 

"Right."

Dean took his mug off the table, using it to warm his hands up. "I'm just saying that you should think about it." Dean just wanted Castiel to be happy. That's all. He couldn't imagine having to suffer through a profession he loathed, just because that's what his dad wanted. "You're not their puppet, Cas. And you're an adult. You /can/ drop out if you want to. You're just scared of what your parents will think."

Castiel shook his head, not making eye contact with Dean. "No. They're mad enough at me now. We're not talking about this anymore."

"Fine," Dean gave in. He wasn't giving up, though. They would talk more later. 

"Let's watch a movie," Castiel said cheerfully, changing the subject. "I bought one of those superhero ones you like. We can watch it if you want." He shrugged, finishing the last of his hot chocolate.

Dean's eyes lit up. "Batman? Please say it's Batman."

Castiel nodded, grinning as well. "Yeah, that's the one! I'm guessing you like it?"

"Hell yeah, I love it!" Dean exclaimed excitedly. "When Sammy and I were little, we dressed up as Batman and Robin one year for Halloween. Best costumes ever." He smiled at the memory. "I've got pictures at home. I could show you sometime."

Cas smiled. "I'd like that. I bet you were the cutest kid."

Dean nodded in agreement. It felt so good to finally be able to just talk to Castiel again without the awkwardness. "Gotta admit, I was pretty adorable." He smiled cheekily. 

Castiel laughed, grabbing the remote and flicking the television on before standing and walking over to it so he could set things up. "If you're hungry, there might be some cereal or popcorn in the pantry, and some fruit in the fridge. Sorry, I know it's not much, but I haven't gone shopping in a while," he said as he stood back up and moved to the couch again, plopping down beside Dean. 

Dean shook his head. The hot chocolate kinda took the edge off his hunger, and he wasn't really in the mood for cereal or popcorn. Maybe later he could ask Cas if they could order some takeout or something, but for now, he was fine. "Nah, I'm good." 

"Okay, Castiel smiled at him before turning to the television as the movie started. "I've never seen this." 

Dean's eyes widened at that. "Dude, seriously?" He knew Castiel was somewhat unaware of pop culture and such, but really, who'd never seen Batman? It was a classic. At least to Dean it was. 

"Seriously," Castiel replied, turning to face Dean and raising his eyebrows. "Is it /that/ good?" 

"No. Better." Dean grinned. This felt monumental, somehow. He was going to be with Castiel the first time he saw a Batman movie. It was very important. "Just watch." 

***

About an hour into the movie, Castiel and Dean were pressed against each other, and Dean was falling asleep. It wasn't that he didn't love the movie, because he really, really did. He was just tired. His eyelids started to do the thing where they felt like ten pound weights, and then there was no way he could keep them open any longer. He dozed off, head lolling to the side and landing on Castiel's shoulder.

Castiel was obviously really into the movie by now. His eyes had been glued to the screen the whole time, and he was only snapped out of his trance when he felt Dean's head hit his shoulder.

As Dean slept, he was vaguely aware of Castiel's arm wrapping around his shoulders and pulling him close. 

***

A while later, Dean was shaken awake. He yawned as he opened his eyes, rubbing them before blinking a few times to wake up. "Damn, did I fall asleep?" He asked, voice tired and rough from sleep. "Sorry man. Is the movie over?"

Castiel chuckled. "The movie ended three hours ago. I was going to wake you when it ended, but you obviously needed the sleep, plus you looked pretty cute." He smiled.

Dean stretched his arms as he sat up, smiling. He felt bad for missing the movie, but he was also pretty glad that Castiel let him sleep. He needed it. School was draining. "Well, how'd you like the movie?" 

"It was amazing," Castiel said, grinning widely. "I'm upset I didn't watch it sooner." 

Dean smirked. "Told ya." 

Castiel grinned. "Yeah, you did." He glanced at the clock hanging on the wall before sighing. "It's after ten. You need to get home before your family starts to worry, and you have school tomorrow."

Dean groaned. "Can't I just spend the night here? I'm tired, and I don't feel like driving all the way back home."

Castiel smiled. "You know I would say yes, but I doubt your father would be okay with you sleeping here on a school night. And don't you drive your brother to school in the morning?"

Dean sighed and closed his eyes, yawning loudly to show how incredibly tired he was. He wasn't lying, either. He always felt like a slug after he napped. "I'll make it work. Come on, Cas, please?"

Castiel chuckled, leaning to wrap his arm around Dean again. "Tell you what. I'll drive you home in your car and I'll catch a cab back to my place. Wouldn't want you falling asleep at the wheel. And you can sleep over on Friday." He smiled. "Does that work for you?"

"Cas...you don't have to do that," Dean argued, half-asleep. Castiel's apartment was well-heated, and Cas smelled good, and Dean felt more comfortable there than he did in his own home. 

"I know. But I want to." Castiel smiled, standing up and grabbing Dean's hands gently to ease him up as well. "Come on." 

Dean stood up wobbly, dramatically showing off how heavy-limbed and exhausted he was.

Castiel laughed. "You're such a drama queen, Dean. Really, come on."

"It would be a lot easier if I just stayed here..." Dean countered half-heartedly, though he knew there was no changing Castiel's mind now.

"Nope. Friday," he shook his head, leading Dean to the door and slipping his bare feet into a pair of slippers. Before they walked out, he looked over at Dean and furrowed his brow. "Are you hungry? When did you eat last?" He paused. "Stay here."

Dean chuckled and leaned against the door frame as Castiel darted off to the kitchen, presumably to get Dean some food. He was being all motherly again. Castiel came back a few seconds later, shiny pink apple in his hand. 

"Eat this on the drive home," he said, placing the fruit in Dean's palm before grabbing his keys and walking out of the apartment and down to the parking lot. 

***

Several minutes later, Dean was in the pasenger seat of the Impala, apple core in his hand and head resting against the cool window in the quiet car. It felt kinda weird not to be the one driving, but it was nice, getting to watch the blurry buildings and street lights as they flew past. And every so often, he would glance over at Castiel, all messy-haired and sloppily dressed. Dean decided that he looked amazing just like that. 

All too soon, Castiel pulled into Dean's driveway and parked. "Here we are." He smiled, reaching over to tap Dean's shoulder. "You awake?"

Dean nodded, stretching his arms again as he looked over at Castiel. "Thanks for the ride. Do you want me to wait with you until your cab gets here?"

Castiel shook his head. "That's quite alright. Gabriel is coming home from work, and he passes my building on the way there. I called him, and he said it wouldn't be too out of his way to swing by and pick me up. He'll be here any minute. You go inside and rest. Okay?" He raised his eyebrows. 

Dean smiled softly and nodded, leaning in to kiss Castiel gently on the lips for a few seconds before he pulled away. "Alright." He opened his side of the car and stepped out, just as Gabriel's car pulled up. Dean groaned internally. He was hoping he would've been able to get inside before Gabriel got here. Maybe the manchild would have mercy and decide not to tease him. 

Unfortunately, Dean's wish didn't come true, for as soon as Gabriel pulled up, he stuck his head out of his car window and grinned. "Hey Dean-o! Where's your boyfriend?"

"In the car. And he's not my boyfriend," Dean grumbled in reply just as Castiel stepped out of Dean's car and started walking over to Gabriel's.

"Gabe, shh..." Cas urged, shaking his head as he walked around to get in on the passenger side. "I'll see you Friday, Dean." He smiled warmly at the green-eyed boy before getting into the car and shutting the door. 

Dean grinned and waved as the car sped off, and after it was gone, he walked up to his front door and unlocked it, stepping inside. John was sitting on the couch, television startlingly bright in the dim room, and empty beer bottle on the floor beside him. Dean sighed. He'd been having such a good day. "Hey Dad."

"Dean, where have you been?" His father asked, sitting up and turning around to furrow his brow at his son. 

Dean sighed again. "I was at Cas'. Didn't Sam tell you?" And since when did his father even care where he was?

"Oh." John nodded. "It's past ten. You need to be home earlier next time."

"Okay Dad," Dean said, rolling his eyes as he walked upstairs. Instead of going straight into his room, however, he knocked on Sam's door. Sam was sitting on his bed, reading a book, but he quickly closed it and raised his eyebrows at Dean with a small smirk. 

"You're home late. Did you have fun?" He asked, scooting over on his bed so Dean could sit beside him.

Dean ran his fingers through his hair and nodded. "Yeah, I guess. I was asleep half the time, though." 

"Oh." Sam actually seemed a bit disheartened at that, and Dean was steadily becoming more and more suspicious of what he was up to. "But you're going over there for tutoring on Friday, right? So you'll see him again?"

Dean nodded slowly. "Yeah. I'm sleeping over too, if Dad says it's okay." 

"Awesome!" Sam grinned. He was too excited. It was unsettling.

Dean nodded again. "Yup." He scrubbed a hand over his face and stood up. "I'm heading to bed."

Sam nodded, pulling his book out again. "Okay. See ya." 

***  
Dean made his way back to his room, changing into his pajamas and checking his phone before he curled up under the covers. He had one text message, from Castiel. 

'Sleep well, Dean. -CN'

Dean smiled, his eyes half-lidded as he sent his reply. 

'Yeah, you too, Cas. -DW'


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 300 KUDOS. I really cannot explain how much this means to me. Your feedback and everything has helped me so much in my writing even outside of the fanfiction world. So thank you very very much :). Also, I recently posted the first chapter of my new fic. It's a Titanic!AU, and I've gotta admit, I'm super excited about it hehe. If you wanna read it, you can find it under my list of works. It's called Unsinkable. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the new chapter! Love you!

Friday couldn't come soon enough for Dean. Thurday seemed to last forever, and he was just anxious to get to the next day. Dean would never admit this out loud, but he was really excited to stay the night at Castiel's. Of course, he did sleep over there one other time, but that was under completely different circumstances. That wasn't fun. This would be fun. 

After dropping Sam off at the middleschool, Dean made his way to his own school and parked the car with a smile on his face. It was finally Friday. He had a little skip in his step as he walked into the building, and he even grinned and greeted some of the teachers. He was completely content for the first time in a long time, and he wanted everyone to know. 

Dean's morning classes went by quickly, he actually participated in some of the discussions and even raised his hand once or twice. It was a new feeling - participation - and he couldn't say he didn't like it. It was kinda fun to answer questions and then feel all smart when he got them right. It was like a confidence boost. 

Dean hummed a Metallica song to himself as he made his way to the cafeteria for lunch. He walked over to their usual spot and sat down beside Charlie. "Hey guys," he said cheerfully with a wide grin as he opened his lunchbox and pulled out his sandwich. 

"Hi Dean," Charlie said, a little suspiciously. She narrowed her eyes at Dean, who was humming and smiling to himself as he took a bite of his food. "What's up with you?"

"What do you mean?" Dean asked with a smile. He knew he was probably being annoying, smiling all the time, but he couldn't help it. Everything in his life was going well for once, and he knew that wouldn't last for long, so he wanted to take advantage of it. 

Benny arched an eyebrow at Dean. "I think she wants to know why you're so...smiley." 

Dean chuckled, running his fingers through his hair, a grin still stretched across his face. He knew his friends were going to notice the change in his mood. They were around him enough that they were able to detect the slightest change in his disposition. "Oh. That." He chuckled again. 

"You're giggling," Charlie noted, sounding awestruck as she stared, wide-eyed, at Dean. Benny nodded in agreement. 

Dean shook his head and took another bite of his sandwich. "I am not." 

"You are!" Charlie laughed, looking from Dean to Benny. 

Dean shook his head, unable to wipe the smile off his face. "Am not."

Benny chuckled softly and shrugged. "I'm with Charlie on this one. You're acting really..."

"Bubbly." Charlie finished for him. 

Benny pointed at her and nodded. "That's it." 

"Guys, shut up. I'm not acting...bubbly or whatever. I'm allowed to be happy, y'know." He tried to say this seriously, yet he was still grinning. Dean couldn't remember the last time he'd smiled this much, but he was just so happy. He just kept thinking about Cas, and his voice, and his smile, and his laugh, and all his little mannerisms, and then he couldn't help but smile. It was strange how much better and lighter he felt now that he allowed himself to think these things, rather than shoving them away as soon as they crept into his mind. 

Charlie raised her eyebrows and bit into her green apple, staring at Dean as if he was a mystery she wanted to solve. "We never said you're not allowed to be happy. You're just usually not. So something's up." 

"Right. So tell us," Benny urged, tapping his fingers on the table.

Dean shook his head, taking another bite of his sandwich. "Nope."

Charlie hummed and nodded. "Huh. Fine. Looks like we're gonna have to guess," she said to Benny, smirking. 

"I've got a guess," Benny piped up, turning his attention to Dean. "You got a good grade on a test."

Dean rolled his eyes. "No. I wouldn't keep that a secret."

"Okay, so it's something you want to keep secret. Which means you're embarrassed by it," Charlie spoke, slowly figuring things out.

Dean shook his head quickly. "No. I'm not embarrassed about this. Not anymore, at least." He didn't think he was embarrassed about liking another guy. But then again, he wasn't ready for everyone to know. In fact, he didn't really want anyone besides his close friends and maybe Sam to know. He just wasn't ready. 

"Oh, I know!" Charlie grinned, practically bouncing in her seat. 

Benny raised his eyebrows at her and nodded. "What?"

"It's that girl you were telling us about. What's her name...Cass? Cassie...?" Charlie's grin widened when she saw Dean blush. "Knew it!"

Dean felt his cheeks heat up and he cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "Uh, yeah."

Benny smiled and reached over the table to clap Dean's shoulder. "I wanna see her. You got a picture?"

Dean ran his fingers through his hair and swallowed hard. He wasn't sure if he was ready for Charlie and Benny to know. But why not? They were his best friends, and he wanted to be able to talk to them more and let them in on more aspects of his life. This was the first step. He took a deep breath and nodded, pulling out his phone. "Yeah. Hold on." He felt his heart rate begin to speed up as he scrolled through his pictures. The whole family had taken a group picture on Thanksgiving, and Dean could just zoom in on Castiel. His thumbs shook slightly as he cropped the picture so it was just Castiel, and he couldn't help but smile at the sight. Cas looked cute in the picture. Well, he always looked cute.

"Quit smiling at your phone and let us see the picture," Charlie laughed, resting her arm on Dean's shoulder as she tried to peer over and get a look at the screen. 

Luckily, Dean noticed just in time and covered the screen with his hand. "Alright, alright. I'll show you. But just know that Cas isn't...um..." He shook his head. "Nevermind. Here." He handed his phone to Charlie, ears burning. 

"Oh." Charlie's eyes widened as she looked at the picture. "I was not expecting that." She stared at the screen for a moment longer before looking back up at Dean, her usual excited grin on her face. "He's cute!"

"He?" Benny asked, furrowing his brow as he reached across the table and took the phone from Charlie. He smiled at the screen, then handed the phone back to Dean. "Brother, I gotta admit, I'm surprised. You've always told us you were straight."

Dean took the phone back, shoving it in his pocket, face still red. "I thought I was. Until I met Castiel."

"Awww...oh my god. That is so adorable, Dean. Aww." She looked so excited Dean was worried she might explode. "I ship it."

"You what it?" Dean asked, furrowing his brow at Charlie. 

Charlie sighed heavily and placed a hand on her forehead. "Nevermind. Tell us about Cas." 

Benny nodded. "Yeah, tell us everything."

"Everything?" Dean raised his eyebrows. "That might take a while. But I'll try."

"I want the whole story. Start from the beginning," Charlie pushed her lunch aside so she could focus all her attention on Dean. 

"Alright." Dean took a deep breath and nodded. He didn't know why he felt so nervous. His friends obviously didn't care that Cas was a guy. "Well, a few months ago, I got a math tutor. It was Cas. And at first I just saw him as my tutor, nothing more. But then I started opening up to him, and him to me, and we really just...connected. And he's helped me out of so much shit I've gotten myself into, it's crazy. And he's kind, and selfless, and generous, and as I got to see more and more of his personality and stuff, the more I liked him. And then I really liked him. I denied it to myself for a while, but then things became really awkward between us, like we were both tiptoeing around each other and it wasn't good." He paused to take a sip of his water. "Cas came over on Thanksgiving, and we were sitting on the couch, just the two of us, and he started talking to me about how I could tell him anything, and stuff like that, and...I don't know what got into me, but we were sitting so close and he was /right there/, so I leaned in - "

"This is the best story ever," Charlie cut him off excitedly. "You should write a book about it. Or make a movie..." she trailed off. "Sorry. Keep going."

Dean chuckled and nodded. "So I Ieaned in, and then Bobby came downstairs. I got really flustered and I panicked because I didn't want him to know, so I stood up and and tried to make Cas leave." He frowned slightly at the memory. "But Bobby stopped me and he talked to me about this stuff, and it took some time, but eventually I worked up the nerve to go talk to Cas. And I did. And we kissed." He smiled. "We haven't really put a label on yet, but I'm okay with that." 

Benny grinned. "I agree with Charlie. You need to make a movie out of this."

Dean laughed. "Maybe."

"I think it's really really cute," Charlie was smiling so wide Dean thought her face would break. 

"Yeah, he is," Dean agreed, only half paying attention. When he realized his mistake, he blushed. "I meant /it/ is."

Benny laughed loudly. "We both know what you meant, Dean."

"Shut your face." Dean's blush deepened.

***

Later that day, Dean was laying down on the couch with Castiel, his head in the other's lap. Castiel was playing with his hair and everything just felt perfect. They'd already finished their tutoring for the day. It felt really good to have Castiel tutoring him again. Now, they were just hanging out and enjoying one another's company. "I told my friends about us today," he said, breaking the silence. 

"Oh? What were their reactions?" Castiel asked, twisting a short strand of Dean's hair around his pinkie. 

Dean smiled. "They were surprised, but really cool with it. I have good friends."

Castiel smiled as well. "Good. I'd like to meet them one day."

"You will," Dean nodded, just as his stomach decided to interrupt the conversation. It growled loudly, and Dean didn't even get embarrassed like he would've a few weeks back , just looked up at Cas and grinned. "I'm hungry."

Castiel laughed and nodded. "I gathered. Let's order a pizza."

"With everything on it," Dean added, grinning as Castiel reached for his phone. The man rolled his eyes and nodded. 

"As you wish." 

Dean raised both eyebrows. "Was that a Princess Bride reference? Or did you just say that 'cause you're Cas and that's how you talk?" 

Castiel chuckled. "No, it was a reference to the movie. One of my favorites." 

Dean smiled. It had been one of Sam's favorites, so Dean always had to watch it with him. And he never admitted it until now, but he loved that movie. "You're amazing." He sat up momentarily and kissed Castiel's cheek before resting his head back in the other's lap. 

Castiel just smiled and dialed the number for the pizza place, putting the phone to his ear and ordering a large pizza with everything on it. 

***

A couple hours later, Dean and Castiel were sitting on the couch together, half-eaten pizza on the table in front of them, and the said movie on the screen blasting full volume. 

"See, see, this is my favorite part," Dean said excitedly, pointing at the screen. "When Inigo finally gets revenge on the douche who killed his father." He grinned. 

Castiel nodded. "My favorite part is the ending when they all ride off together on horses." 

Dean made a face. "Why's that your favorite? There's no action or anything."

Castiel shrugged, eyes still fixed on the television screen. "I just like happy endings." 

Dean resisted the urge to aww, instead just smiling at Castiel and staring at him for a moment before looking back at the screen as well. 

Once the movie ended, Castiel flicked off the screen and turned to look at Dean. "I bought ice-cream."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "What kind?" He was kinda picky about his ice-creams. He didn't like the kinds that were too busy, or had weird flavors like mint or cherry. He only liked vanilla, and if he was at a diner or something he would get a bunch of toppings on it, but at home, a plain scoop of vanilla ice-cream was all he wanted. 

"The boring kind." Castiel smiled. "Sam told me that's what you liked." 

Dean grinned at first, then frowned. "When were you and Sam talking about me?" 

Castiel rubbed the back of neck and shrugged. "Ah, it just kinda came up. No big deal."

"Mhm." Dean nodded slowly. He was thoroughly convinced that there was something going on, but he wouldn't investigate now. Now, he just wanted to relax with Castiel and eat ice-cream. 

"Yup." Castiel stood up, hurriedly walking to the kitchen. A few minutes later, he returned with two heaping bowls of vanilla ice cream. He handed one to Dean before digging into his own. 

"This is nice," Dean said after several minutes, placing his empty bowl and spoon on the table and looking over at Castiel. Castiel finished his bowl as well, and he set it aside before turning his attention to Dean. 

"I agree." He nodded and scooted a little closer to Dean on the couch. "What time is it?" 

Dean glanced at his watch. "A little after ten. Why? Are you tired?" Dean didn't usually get tired until around eleven, but then again, he also usually had a nap after school, and he came straight here right after, so he was a little drowsy as well. "We can go to bed if you want." 

Castiel nodded and held out his hand, taking Dean's and pulling him up to a standing position before they walked to down the hallway together. It really was an unspoken agreement that they would sleep in the same bed this time. It would just kinda seem weird for them to just separate now and have Dean sleep in the guest room. And it wasn't like anything was going to happen. Dean definitely wasn't ready for anything sexual with another guy, not yet. Though the idea wasn't that unappealing either. 

After they brushed their teeth, Castiel led Dean to his room and opened the door. Dean had been in the room one other time, and it looked exactly the same. Light gray walls, soft bed, matching bookshelf in the corner, some pictures hanging up. He liked it. The whole entire room smelled like Castiel, and he couldn't help but inhale deeply once he'd stepped in. "I like your room."

Castiel smiled. "Thank you." He walked over to his bed and climbed under the covers, patting the empty spot next to him as an invitation for Dean to join him. 

Dean grinned and climbed into bed beside Castiel, pulling the warm covers over him and closing his eyes, head resting on the squishy pillow. Dean really loved Castiel's apartment. It was warm and clean and comforting. He felt so welcome and safe there. 

"Goodnight, Dean," Castiel said, leaning over Dean and kissing him on the lips softly for while - which Dean didn't mind - before pulling away and smiling at him. He flopped back on his own pillow before turning the bedside lamp off. 

Dean smiled after the kiss, feeling so buoyant and content in that moment. He moved a little closer to Castiel in the bed and sighed softly. "Night Cas."


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so late, and I am so sorry. I was stressed with school, and irl problems, and I just couldn't find the inspiration for this. But I finally did :). And I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. 
> 
> Warning: This chapter includes some outward homophobia...so if you're uncomfortable with that, don't read.

Two weeks later, and things were going well. Things were going great, actually. He went over to Castiel's for tutoring, and he always stayed a little later just to hang out. Exams were coming up, and Dean was nervous, but he actually felt pretty confident about it. Now that he was back with Cas, his grades had gone up a bit. Not significantly, but enough to show John that Castiel really was the right tutor for his son. 

It was a Friday, and Dean was back at Castiel's place for tutoring. The two of them still hadn't labeled their relationship yet, but it was apparent that they were both very into each other. 

"See? Now does that make sense, Dean? If x is negative, then you have to switch the inequality. That's the only reason you missed so many of these, you didn't do that," Castiel explained as they went over the missed questions on Dean's latest math quiz. 

Dean nodded slowly. "Oh...yeah, that makes sense I guess." 

Castiel stared at him for a moment. "Good." He glanced at his watch and smiled. "Alright, we can finish that up next time. I've got a surprise for you," he said before packing up Dean's work and setting it aside. 

Dean raised his eyebrows. A surprise? "Really? What is it?" He asked, trying not to sound too excited as he looked over at Castiel. 

"Well..." Cas started, standing up. "Christmas is quickly approaching, and I've been wondering what I should get for you - "

"Cas, you don't have to get me anything. Really. You've done more than enough," Dean butted in. He needed Castiel to realize that he'd already given Dean so much and made his life better in so many ways. He didn't need a present. 

Castiel blushed and cleared his throat. "Well I want to," he said, picking something up off the shelf and handing it to Dean. "This isn't your official present, I just couldn't wait to give it to you. So here," he said nervously as he watched Dean turn the small package over in his hand. 

Dean nodded and smiled slightly as he opened the little package. It was flat and square, and wrapped in plain brown paper. Dean raised his eyebrows slightly when he saw what it was. Just a disc, labeled 'Dean.' "What is it?" He asked with a small smile. 

Castiel sat back beside him. "I know how much you love music, so I made you a mix of all your favorite songs. And some other ones that you might not have heard, but that remind me of you. Just a little something." He shrugged, blushing slightly. 

Dean beamed. Castiel really was the sweetest thing. "Aww...Cas," he said, trying not to get too emotional over a little gift like this. It just felt so meaningful to him, and he didn't know why. "Thank you." He said, leaning over to hug him for a few moments before letting go. "Can we play it?" 

"Of course," Castiel said, taking the case back and walking over to set it up. The first song that came on was 'Hey Jude,' and it made Dean think of his mom. It made him smile.

"My mom used to sing this to me when I was little," Dean said somewhat nostalgically, humming the tune as he tapped his fingers on his thigh. 

Castiel smiled and walked over to him, standing in front of him and holding his hand out. 

Dean felt a bit flustered, looking at the outstretched hand and shaking his head. "No, Cas, I- I don't dance." 

Castiel rolled his eyes and grabbed Dean's hand himself, pulling him up into a standing position and wrapping an arm around his waist. "Everyone dances," he insisted, one arm around Dean's waist and the other holding the younger boy's hand. 

Dean blushed and swallowed hard, placing his free hand on Castiel's shoulder as they began to sway to the music. They weren't really dancing, per say, more of just moving with each other to the beat. It felt really cliché and really chick-flick-y, but Dean loved it. He would never admit that though. "This is dumb," he muttered, though he pressed closer to Castiel and continued to sway with him. 

Castiel just chuckled, squeezing Dean's hand once before letting go and moving it to the other's face. "Really? Then why are you blushing?"

Dean blushed harder at that and ignored the question. He'd been caught and they both knew it. Dean was slightly taller than Castiel, but he still leaned forward and rested his chin on the man's shoulder, even though he had to tilt his head down a little. 

Castiel smiled and moved his hand to the back of Dean's head, running his long, slender fingers through the boy's sandy hair.

Dean closed his eyes and continued to sway with Castiel, getting lost in the music. He liked the song. It brought him back to a happier, simpler time. When the song ended, the two continued to sway slowly, even as a much faster, classic rock song came on. It felt like they danced forever before Castiel stopped swaying, took Dean's face in his hands, and kissed him gently. His lips on Dean's were so light, it felt like they were barely there. 

Castiel smiled as he pulled away, cheeks flushed. "I have a question." 

"Shoot," Dean said, his hands on Castiel's shoulders as he looked into those deep blue eyes. They were easily the prettiest eyes Dean had ever seen. They were one of the first things Dean noticed when he met Castiel for the first time. 

"Why don't we ever go out? Like to a restaurant or something like that." He shrugged, hands on Dean's hips as his thumbs rubbed soft circles onto the other's hipbones. 

"Uh..." Dean bit his lip, furrowing his brow as he thought. He still wasn't sure if he was ready for a public relationship with Castiel. 

Castiel took his hands away from Dean's hips and sighed. "It's been a few weeks now, Dean. I don't want to rush you to come out or anything...but I just feel like..." he paused for a moment, face twisting up in frustration. "I can't find the words. Nevermind." He walked over to the CD player and switched it off, filling the room with an uncomfortable silence.

Dean rubbed his hands together nervously. He understood where Castiel was coming from. He still didn't think he was ready to come out, but he definitely didn't want Castiel to think he was ashamed or embarrassed to go out in public with him. "Cas..." he started.

"It's alright," Castiel cut him off with a smile that seemed a little forced, turning back to Dean.

Dean sighed. "No, you're right. We should go out." He walked over to him and grabbed both his hands with a small smile. "We can go to that burger place downtown. It's Friday, my dad won't mind if I'm home a little late." Honestly, John Winchester probably /would/ mind, but Dean wasn't particularly worried about that. 

"Are you sure?" Castiel asked, raising both eyebrows and staring directly into Dean's candy-apple green eyes. "Dean, I feel like I've pushed you into this..." he frowned. 

Dean shook his head. Yeah, Castiel brought up the topic, but Dean had come to the decision on his own. He wanted to spend some time with Castiel outside of his apartment. "Yup." He smiled and released Castiel's hands before walking over to the front door. "You coming?" 

***

They took Castiel's car to the diner, and when they reached it, Castiel parked and looked over at Dean. "We don't have to do this if you're not ready."

Dean shook his head again, leaning over to kiss Castiel's cheek gently. "I'll be fine. It's not like I'm gonna go in there and announce it. We're just gonna act the same as we do when we're at home." He blushed when he realized he just referred to Castiel's apartment as 'home.' "Let's just go." He hurriedly got out of the car and headed up to the front doors of the establishment.

The two of them walked into the diner, Castiel's arm wrapped around Dean's waist. He let his eyes sweep over the people and breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't see anyone he knew. Good.

Once they took their seats, Castiel pulled out his menu and looked over it before closing it and looking across the table at Dean. "Do you come here often? I've only been once or twice."

Dean nodded, stacking his menu on top of Castiel's. "Yep. Sammy and I come here all the time." He'd been there so many times, he didn't even have to look at his menu to know what he wanted to order. 

"That's nice." Castiel smiled fondly. "I like Sam."

"Yeah, I've noticed," Dean replied a little bitterly. He'd been trying to keep the whole mysterious Sam thing out of his mind, but he couldn't help but get agitated whenever someone brought it up. 

Castiel furrowed his brow, opening his mouth to ask what was wrong, when the waiter came by, notepad and pen in hand to take their order. Castiel sighed and let his mouth close.

"What can I get you?" the waiter asked in a cheerful voice.

Dean glanced at Castiel before looking back at the waiter. "Uh, I'll take a bacon cheeseburger and a glass of coke. Thanks," he replied, handing their menus to the waiter.

"I'll have a bacon cheeseburger too, and just water for me," Castiel said with a nod as the waiter finished scribbling down their orders and walked off.

"How's school going?" Dean asked curiously once their orders were taken. He didn't ask Castiel about college often, mostly because he knew that Castiel did not enjoy it, as he was going into a field that was not his preference. But every once in a while, he liked to bring it up and try to persuade him to do his own thing. 

Castiel shrugged as the waiter returned with their drinks, taking a sip of his water. "I don't know. Fine I guess." 

Dean didn't push any further. "Have you spoken to your parents since you came out to them?" he asked as well, lowering his voice slightly. 

Castiel shook his head. "No. I have made no effort to contact them, and they have made no effort to contact me." 

"Oh." Dean took a deep breath. "Well, Cas, if they're not really a part of your life right now, then do you think they'd care if you switched majors? Would you even have to tell them?" 

Castiel buried his face in his hands and sighed. "Dean, I don't know. It's a big step. I'll have to think about it." 

"Okay." Dean reached across the table for Castiel's hands, smiling softly and stroking the back of the other's hand with his thumb. He was just glad that he was able to get a response that wasn't completely negative out of Castiel. It was a small start, but a start nonetheless. "I'm here if you need to talk about it." For the time that Dean had known Castiel, he'd learned that the man was not the type to just share his feelings. Even with people he trusted. He kinda had to be coaxed into it. Dean was the same way. He was an expert at keeping everything bottled in. 

Castiel blushed slightly and nodded. "Thank you, Dean." He brought one of Dean's hands up to his lips and kissed the back of it gently, lips lingering for a moment. 

Dean blushed at the tender gesture, a smile spreading across his face. That smile was short-lived, however, because the doors to the diner opened and Dean froze.

It was Crowley, a kid from Dean's grade, and his little group of friends. Crowley wasn't exactly a bad guy. He and Dean just had a love-hate relationship. Sometimes they could tolerate and even be friendly with each other, but other times they were adversaries. It really depended on the day and the situation. 

"Dean?" Crowley asked, his British accent coming through thickly as he walked over to Dean's table with a smile. The smile faded once he saw the situation.

Dean felt his heart skip a beat, and he felt cold all over. Their hands were still clasped together, and Dean felt a wave of panic wash over him. Crowley would tell everyone. If Dean admitted that he and Castiel were together, then word would spread fast. He couldn't have that. Dean didn't know what he was so afraid of, but he just couldn't let that happen. He swallowed hard and stared back at Crowley. 

"Are you...gay?" Alistair - one of Crowley's friends - asked, looking at their clasped hands skeptically. 

"No, hell no," Dean said, yanking his hands away from Castiel's and standing up. "I don't know what his issue is. I thought we were just friends, but apparently he's some fag." Dean avoided Castiel's eyes, and he felt sick as the words left his mouth. The whole diner was looking at this point, and his face burned. 

Alistair nodded. "Oh. Cause you were looking at him with these big gooey eyes," he laughed. 

"Pfft. No. Trust me, I had nothing to do with this. I would never be with another guy. No tits." He felt like he was going to puke. Dean risked a glance at Castiel and saw that his face had paled, and he was now standing up as well. The poor guy looked like he'd just been punched in the gut, and it made Dean feel even worse. But maybe Cas would understand. Maybe he would understand why Dean was saying these things. 

"Dean..?" Castiel spoke, voice edged with anger. He tilted his head to the side slightly, eyes shooting daggers at Dean. Underneath the anger though, was only hurt. 

"Hey, Dean, you're gonna have to take a long shower to wash all this gay off you, huh?" Another one of Crowley's friends, Azazel, joked, punching Dean playfully on the shoulder.

Dean chuckled softly and painfully, nodding. "Uh, yeah. Definitely." He felt his stomach churn as he looked back at Cas. 

Castiel was obviously just barely keeping it together, his lower lip quivering. "I thought you were different," he said sadly, though his sadness was quickly covered up by red-hot anger. "Fuck you. And you can find your own damn ride home," he said, his voice deeper and rougher than Dean had ever heard it. He glared at Dean for a long moment, those blue eyes dark and stormy before he turned on his heel and marched out of the diner. 

After Castiel left, the whole restaurant was filled with a silence so thick you could cut it with a knife. Dean swallowed hard and kept his eyes fixed on the spot where Castiel just left. He screwed up. He really, really screwed up. Dean felt his knees begin to wobble and he took a seat at his table again, muttering curses to himself. 

"Uh, let's go somewhere else," Crowley said after a while. "The atmosphere in here is...uncomfortable." He obviously felt just as awkward as everyone else in the diner. After giving Dean a quick nod, he was out, and so was the rest of his little group. 

Once they were gone, Dean slammed his fists on the table before moving them to his short hair and pulling. It wasn't long before their waiter came back over with their food. "I'd go talk to him," he said, placing the food on the table. 

"What?" Dean asked, the sight of the food making his stomachache worse as he looked up at the boy, a scrawny kid with wrinkled clothes and brown hair.

"That's just me, but I'd go talk to him," he repeated in a casual voice. 

Dean sighed heavily and stood up, throwing a twenty down on the table. He wasn't going to eat that food. "I appreciate the thought. But you don't know me, okay? Don't try and help," Dean said bitterly as he began to walk toward the door. 

The boy stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "Look, I can tell you didn't mean what you said, alright? Maybe he could tell too. Just go talk to him."

Dean sighed heavily and closed his eyes, pressing a hand to his forehead. "Okay. Okay, thanks."

"Yup. I'm Garth, by the way," he said, giving Dean the cheesiest smile ever before patting him on the shoulder and heading over to the kitchen again. 

Dean stood there for a moment longer to collect himself before heading outside of the restaurant, the cold December air stinging his face and making him squint. He could've stood inside, but part of him wanted to punish himself. He wasn't good enough to stand in the heated diner, not after what he did. Dean pulled out his cellphone, and with shaky fingers, dialed Charlie's number. 

"Hey, you around?" He asked as soon as she picked up, voice frantic and panicky. 

"Uh, yeah. Why? What's wrong?" 

Dean took a deep breath and blew it out before replying, watching how his breath fogged and turned white in the cold air. "I need you to pick me up. I'm at that burger joint downtown." 

Charlie paused and Dean could hear her shuffling around before she replied again. "On my way. Wanna explain?" 

"I don't want you to get in a crash, so no. I'll explain when you get here." 

"Fair enough. Be there in ten," Charlie said before hanging up the phone. 

***

"Did you really say that?" Charlie asked, eyes wide after hearing all of Dean's story. She was driving him back to Castiel's apartment, so he could get his stuff and his car. "That's terrible, Dean. And I'm kinda offended too."

"I know, Char. I'm sorry...I suck. I just- I don't know what got into me. I panicked, and then those words just came out," He scrubbed his hands over his face. "I can't believe myself." He felt a lump begin to form in his throat, but he willed it away. "He'll never forgive me," he said, voice shaking. 

Charlie sighed as she pulled into the parking lot of Castiel's apartment complex. "This is it, right?" She asked as she parked. Once Dean nodded, she took both hands off the wheel and turned to look at him directly. "Just go talk to him. At least try."

Dean nodded and took a deep breath before getting out of the car. God, he felt awful. He felt guilty, and sick, and worthless. He wished he had some sort of time machine, or a way to erase everything that he said. But he knew that he didn't, and he couldn't, so the least he could do was try to make it better. When he reached the door, Dean knocked a few times and waited, heart pounding, before Castiel opened it, just a crack. 

"What do you want?" Cas asked, peeking at Dean through the crack in the door. 

Dean bit down on his bottom lip and shifted on his feet. "I need to get my stuff. And I gotta talk to you, Cas, please." 

Castiel hesitated a moment before replying. "Wait here." He shut the door. A few minutes later, the door opened again, and Castiel held out Dean's keys, his books, and his backpack. He started to close the door again once Dean had his stuff, but Dean stuck his foot in and stopped it from closing. 

"Please, just talk to me. Let me explain," Dean pleaded. Castiel looked even worse than Dean did. He looked older, and miserable, and angry. And with good reason. Dean had publically humiliated him, and he needed to apologize. Sincerely. Because he was genuinely sorry and he needed Castiel to know that. 

Castiel paused for a long moment before nudging Dean's foot out of the door. "No," he said simply before closing it. 

Dean felt like crying. He knocked a few more times before he realized that Castiel wasn't going to answer, and then he walked back down to the parking lot and over to Charlie's car. "He won't listen," he informed, leaning into her car window. 

Charlie frowned and bit her bottom lip. "Damn," she muttered. "Keep trying. Don't let him go, Dean. I see how happy he makes you." 

"Thanks Charlie," Dean said with a heavy sigh. "And thanks for the ride."

"Yeah, no prob. See you tomorrow," Charlie said with a small smile before driving off. Once she was gone, Dean dragged himself over to his own car and got in. He made the drive back home in silence. No music, no anything. 

***

When he walked inside, Dad was sprawled out asleep on the couch, which Dean was grateful for. He didn't need another lecture on how he should've asked if he could stay late. His day was bad enough, and he didn't need it to get any worse. 

"Hey, how'd it go?" Sam asked, popping up out of nowhere. Dean's face must've said it all, because Sam frowned. "What happened, Dean?" 

"I might as well tell you before Cas does," Dean said, sitting down at the kitchen table, shoulders slumped. 

"Okay..." Sam furrowed his brow slightly, sitting across from Dean and listening intently as he repeated his story. 

Dean held up a hand once he'd finished. "Before you say it - I know. I'm awful. And before you ask - yes. Cas and I were in a relationship."

Sam was silent for a long time before he spoke up. "Shit. I really thought you guys were gonna work out," he mumbled, mostly to himself. "Is Cas okay? Did you try and talk to him?" 

"Wait. What was that?" Dean asked, furrowing his brow and giving Sam a serious look. 

Sam raised his eyebrows. "I asked if Cas was okay, and - " 

Dean shook his head. "No, not that. What you said before."

"Oh." Sam paused for a moment, running his fingers through his hair. "Look, Dean, please don't hate me for this, but I already knew about you guys."

Dean clenched his teeth. If Sam knew, then who else? "Did Cas tell you?" 

"No. Not at all," Sam said quickly, shaking his head. "I...I kinda told him." 

Dean opened his mouth to reply, and then closed it again. "Did you really think that was gonna clear things up?" 

Sam sighed again. "Okay, well first of all, it wasn't totally my fault that I found out. You guys were painfully obvious with the fact that you liked each other."

"What? No we weren't- " 

"Can I finish? And yeah, you were. With the staring into each other's eyes...and how flustered you got when I told everyone you were in love. Kinda obvious. So I talked to Cas, and he admitted to me that he liked you."

"And then what?" Dean asked. 

"Then...I told him that it seemed like you were into him too. And then we just started talking about you and stuff."

Dean raised an eyebrow, trying not to get too pissed at Sam. "And stuff?" 

Sam rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah. We...kinda came up with this plan to get Cas tutoring you again. Uh...I went to Dad while he was kinda drunk and out of it, and told him that Ms. Porter was talking about how she was going to raise her daily tutoring cost by thirty dollars - which is completely false, by the way, she wasn't gonna do that - " 

"Wait, you /lied/?" Dean asked, eyes wide. "Sam Winchester lied?" 

Sam blushed deeply and nodded. "Yeah. I'm pretty good at it too, because the plan worked. Dad fired her, and then Castiel called Dad and told him that he was offering tutoring at half-price, so of course he accepted, and here we are." 

Dean shook his head. "That's really confusing." 

"I know," Sam replied. He paused. "Are you mad at me?" 

Dean took a moment to breathe before he shook his head, standing up and ruffling Sam's hair. "No. You were just trying to help." He felt a headache coming on and he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I need to lie down."

"Okay," Sam said, frowning slightly as he watched Dean slowly make his way upstairs.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? I updated? It's a miracle! But really, guys, I'm so sorry for not being on for the last month. I've been super busy and I couldn't find time to write and make this chapter the best it could be. But, I should be back in business now! Happy new year everyone!

Dean didn't sleep that night. He knew he messed up. He really, really messed up. He couldn't stop thinking about it. His own words haunted him throughout that whole weekend, but he couldn't muster up the courage to go over to Cas' apartment and talk about it, or even shoot him a text. He felt terrible. Every time he thought about what happened in the diner, he thought he would puke. And he missed Castiel. A lot. Sure, it had only been a couple days since they last saw each other, but it wasn't like they'd been texting or talking on the phone like they usually would be. It was just...different. Something had changed between them, not for the better, and it was all Dean's fault.

School on Monday was rough. Dean's friends could tell that something was wrong, and even though Charlie knew, she didn't say anything, which Dean appreciated. 

"You sure are acting weird these days, brother," Benny said as the three of them sat together at the lunch table, Dean prodding at his turkey sandwich but not eating it. "One minute you're happy, the next you look close to tears. It just don't make sense."

Dean shrugged half-heartedly, not looking up from where his eyes were glued to his sandwich.

Charlie bit her lip and shared a glance with Benny before placing a hand on Dean's shoulder. "It'll be fine. If Cas is as nice as you say he is, then he'll forgive you." She paused and pulled her hand back. "Hopefully."

Dean just groaned and buried his face in his hands. As much as he loved Charlie, he didn't want to hear her sympathies at that moment. And he knew she was wrong. Dean had never seen that side of Castiel before. He felt like it would be a little more difficult to get his forgiveness this time.

"Wait, what happened?" Benny asked, furrowing his brow. "You and Cas having issues?"

Dean nodded and sighed heavily, and with a great deal of strength, raised his head up and looked at Benny, his green eyes tired and weary from lack of sleep. "I was a dick. We were at a diner, and Crowley and some of his friends came by, and I pushed Cas away and I..." he faltered and shook his head. "I teased him. And humiliated him in front of everyone."

There was a long silence between the three of them. Benny opened and closed his mouth a few times as if trying to decide what to say. "That doesn't seem like something you would do..."

"Well I did, okay?" Dean snapped before sighing again and pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry man...I don't know what's wrong with me."

Benny nodded. "It's alright." Another long silence passed before he spoke again. "Did you try talking to him?"

Dean sighed heavily. He loved his friends to death, but right now he really just wanted to be alone. "Yes." He ran his fingers through his hair, his voice tired and slightly annoyed. "Of course I tried talking to him."

"Just askin'," Benny muttered, sharing a glance with Charlie, who shrugged and shook her head. 

***

When Dean got home from school, he was debating whether or not he should go to tutoring. Castiel hadn't called and cancelled, so Dean assumed that Cas still expected him to be there. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe now that things had cooled down a little, they could finally work this out. 

"Alright, I'll be back," Dean said, grabbing his bag as he made his way to the door.

Sam, who was sitting at his usual spot, raised his eyebrows and looked up from whatever he was working on. "Where are you going?"

Dean stopped and turned around, shrugging at Sam. "Tutoring."

"Hm. Okay." Sam went back to work. 

Dean sighed heavily. "I'll bite. What is it?" He sat down at the table across from Sam and rested his chin in his hand, sighing again. 

"What's what?" Sam asked casually, a little /too/ casually, his voice a bit higher-pitched than usual. 

Dean rolled his eyes, resisting the urge to just leave it alone and just go on his way. If he didn't leave in a few minutes, he would be late, and he knew Cas didn't appreciate tardiness. He was trying to do everything he could to get on the guy's good side. "Don't play games with me, Sammy. I'm not in the mood."

"Alright, geez," Sam huffed, putting his pencil down and giving Dean his best bitchface before continuing. "I'm just surprised you're going, that's all. I talked to Cas last night, and - "

"Oh, great," Dean cut him off, groaning with exasperation. "The two besties having a little heart-to-heart."

Sam made a face at Dean and picked up his work, about to relocate to his bedroom. "You're being a dick today. So forget it." He pushed in his chair with a little more force than usual, before heading towards the stairs. 

"Wait, Sam, hold on. I was kidding," Dean stood up and followed Sam, placing a hand on his shoulder to stop him from going any further. "What did you guys talk about?"

Sam hesitated a moment before he replied, as if he was deciding whether or not to tell Dean the truth. "You. Mostly."

"Alright, what about me?" Dean asked a little impatiently, glancing at his watch and tapping his foot on the hardwood floor. 

"I'm not allowed to tell you," Sam said very matter-of-factly, raising both eyebrows at Dean.

Dean almost screamed out of frustration and annoyance. "Dammit, Sam, I'm your brother. I'm trying to make things right between Cas and me. So if you could just spit it out, that'd be great." He glanced at his watch again. "And hurry."

Sam paused again, almost teasing Dean, before he continued. "Dean...I don't want you to take any of this too personally. He called me to rant, and he was pretty angry. Just don't get too upset."

"I'm a big boy," Dean joked bitterly. "I can handle it."

Sam huffed and leaned against the banister. "He said you were a selfish, insecure prick and that you have no regard for how anyone else feels. He said you're too impulsive, and you don't realize how much impact your words have." Sam paused and bit his lip, almost as if he didn't want to tell Dean the rest. "And, uh, he doesn't want to be with you anymore. At least, not until you're comfortable enough with yourself so that you won't be embarrassed to be seen in public with him. 

The words hit Dean like a ton of bricks. He knew he deserved it, he knew that this was probably similar to how Castiel felt in the diner, but he still wanted to fall into a black hole and never come back. "I-I should go talk to him," he said, his voice shaky. He paused for a moment, thinking, and then raised his eyebrows at Sam. "Shouldn't I?"

Sam shrugged and began to walk back upstairs, lugging all his work with him. "It's your choice."

"That doesn't really help," Dean muttered under his breath, turning away from the stairs and walking over to the front door again. If he left right now, he would be about ten minutes late, but he still felt like he should go. Just to try and clear things up. Dean took a deep breath and stared at the door for a moment longer before grabbing his bag and heading outside to his car.

***

His heart was pounding by the time he reached the apartment complex, and he couldn't remember another time when he'd felt this anxious. His whole body felt cold, and his stomach churned uncomfortably as he got out of the car and made his way to Castiel's room. 

Dean said a quick prayer to no one in particular before balling his hand into a fist and rapping on the door a few times. No answer. "Cas, it's me!" He called, knocking again and furrowing his brow. A few minutes passed before he stopped knocking. "Look, man, I know you're pissed. I get it. But could you just let me in so we can talk?" He pleaded, waiting for a reply and groaning when he didn't get one. He knocked again, this time louder. "Cas?" 

"He's not there," a woman's voice said. Dean turned to look at her. She was leaning against the wall, legs crossed at the ankles and an amused smile on her face, almost as if she'd been watching Dean this whole time. She was a pretty girl, with bright red lips and wavy dark hair, but something about her was unsettling.

Dean cleared his throat and ceased knocking, furrowing his brow at the lady. "Well, do you know where he is?" 

The girl just chuckled dryly and nodded, and when she spoke, her voice was as slow as molasses. It was like she was saying each word in slow-motion. It was unnerving. Dean didn't trust her. "Clarence is one of my best friends. Of course I know where he is." 

Dean scoffed lightly at that, a little smirk appearing on his face. She had the wrong guy. "I'm not looking for a Clarence. I'm looking for a Castiel. You must be thinking of someone else," he said a bit smugly, kind of happy that Castiel wasn't friends with a shifty chick like this. 

Now it was the girl's turn to laugh, and she did so almost mockingly. "I /know/ who I'm talking about. I call him Clarence as an inside joke." She paused for a moment before adding the next part. "You wouldn't understand." 

"Right." Now Dean was thoroughly pissed. Who was this girl, acting like she knew everything? Dean hated to admit it, but he'd kinda assumed that Castiel didn't have any friends. He never talked about them, anyway. "Can you just tell me where he is? It's really important that I talk to him."

The girl just gave Dean a syrupy sweet smile, pulling a cigarette out of her pocket and lighting it as she stuck it in between her crimson lips. "I don't think he'd want me to share that information, Dean." She said his name slowly, a puff of smoke escaping her lips as she did so. 

"How the hell did you know my name?" Dean asked, brow deeply furrowed as he glared at the girl. Oh, he didn't like her. He really didn't like her. She was creepy and made chills run up Dean's spine. And not the good kind of chills, these were the kind that made you want to back away slowly and then sprint as soon as you were at a distance. 

"I know /all/ about you," she said, nodding and taking a step closer to Dean. "Yup, Clarence used to love you. Good ol' Dean." She chuckled. "He wouldn't shut up about you. It was a little annoying, really." She took another puff on her cigarette. "But all that changed when you outed the poor guy." She tsked, looking up at Dean with amusement in her eyes. "But hey, at least I don't have to listen to him get all sappy over you anymore." She laughed, flipping her hair. 

"Okay. Listen, whoever you are- " Dean started. 

"It's Meg," the girl cut him off with another one of those sickening smiles. 

"Fine. Listen, Meg. What happened between me and Cas is none of your freaking business. I'm trying to patch things up, and there's no way I can do that unless I can talk to him. So just tell me where he is, and I'll get out of your hair." Dean sighed heavily, raising his eyebrows and waiting for a response. It took a while for him to get one, as Meg just stared at him, eyes twinkling with mirth as she smoked.

"Alright, I'll tell you," Meg finally replied, taking a step back from Dean and leaning against the wall again. "But don't think I fell for that little speech of yours. I'm only doing this so I can see my friend happy again." 

"Fair enough," Dean said impatiently, giving Meg the friendliest smile he could muster up. "So where is he?"

"He's at that lake a couple miles from here. I think it's pretty lame, but he likes to go there and sit on the dock alone. He says it helps him think." She shrugged, running her fingers through her dark hair. "Good luck. You'll need it." 

***

Dean drove to the lake quickly, still a little discomfited by his encounter with Meg. He still couldn't believe that Castiel would be friends with someone like her. But maybe he was just being too judgmental. After all, she did seem to care about Cas, and that's what mattered. 

The lake was open to the public, and there was a long path circled around it where people could walk or ride their bikes or things like that. It was a pretty nice place. Dean didn't go very often, but when he did, he always enjoyed himself. The lake wasn't very crowded, probably because it was a Monday afternoon and many people were at work. Dean parked the car and got out, leaving his bookbag under the seat before he walked toward the lake. He spotted Castiel immediately. He was sitting on the dock, pants rolled up to his knees and legs dangling over the edge, his toes just grazing the surface of the water. He looked so serene and happy and comfortable and...beautiful. Dean almost wanted to walk away, just walk away and let Castiel stay in his happy state. But he didn't. Instead, he walked up behind Castiel and bent down a little to tap him on the shoulder. "Hey." 

Castiel turned around slowly, his expression unreadable. He didn't seem happy to see Dean, but he didn't seem angry either. "It's you." 

"Yeah, it's me," Dean said, biting his lip nervously and sitting down beside Castiel, keeping his legs pulled up so he wouldn't ruin his boots in the water. 

Castiel didn't speak for a while, tracing patterns into the water with his toes and watching as it rippled before he replied. "How did you know I was here?" He asked in a monotone voice, not looking up at Dean. 

"Uh, your buddy, Meg, told me," Dean answered, trying to make eye contact with Castiel but failing.

"Ah, so you met Meg." Castiel chuckled softly, mostly to himself. "She's a great friend."

"Yeah, I'm sure she is," Dean said, desperate to just get past this part so he could try to work things out with Cas and let him know how sorry he was. 

Castiel hummed softly, still staring down into the clear water. The two of them sat like that for a while, side by side, silently staring out into the water, before Cas broke the silence. "I'm sorry I wasn't at home. You were late, so I figured you weren't coming," he shrugged. 

Dean shook his head. Castiel had absolutely nothing to apologize about. Nothing. "Nah, it's all good." 

"Good." Castiel said, still not looking up. 

"Hey, Cas?" Dean asked, swallowing hard. God, he'd never been this nervous in his life. 

"Yes?" He asked, raising his eyebrows but still avoiding eye contact. 

"Are you mad at me?" Dean asked a little warily, biting down on his bottom lip and hoping he hadn't crossed his boundaries by saying that. 

Castiel sighed and finally, /finally/ looked up at Dean, his bright blue eyes seeming more clear than usual. "I was very mad at you, Dean. But not anymore. I'm still upset, but I'm not angry with you, no." He smiled a little, but quickly reverted back to his poker face. "Anger is a strong emotion. It's one that I choose not to hold for too long. It's not healthy."

Dean couldn't help but smile a little too. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest. "Cas, you have no idea how happy that makes me. I just hope that you know how sorry I am. I shouldn't have said what I said. I just...I don't know what I got into me. I'm sorry."

"I know you, Dean. And I know that wasn't you in the diner. It's..." Cas paused, looking away as he replied, his voice softer this time. "It's okay."

Dean could've cried he was so relieved. "Oh, Cas, thank you so much. This has been killing me. Wow, you're a great guy, you know that?" He asked, unable to control the smile that was spreading across his face. 

Castiel looked back at him with a half-smile, eyebrows raised. "I suppose." 

"No, you /are/. You really are amazing, Cas. Thank you," he said gently, staring into Castiel's dazzling eyes.

Castiel blushed slightly, staring right back at Dean.

Dean licked his lips before acting completely on impulse and leaning forward, cupping Castiel's cheek softly and pressing their lips together in a kiss. The kiss lasted for a few moments before Castiel pulled away, face flushed and breathing heavy. 

"What's wrong?" Dean asked, concerned. He hoped he didn't screw up again. Not again.

"W-we shouldn't," Castiel stood up hurriedly, grabbing his shoes which were sitting beside him and giving Dean a curt nod. Then he was gone. 

Dean groaned and flopped back on the dock, staring up at the sky and pressing both palms to his forehead. "Dammit," he cursed, clenching his teeth and wondering if things would ever be the same between him and Cas.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I am terribly sorry for abandoning you guys. Please accept this peace offering- a chapter full of porn.

It was Friday, and Dean had just gotten out of school for Christmas break. He should've been excited, because two weeks of vacation was awesome. Christmas wasn't Dean's favorite holiday, only because his family didn't really do much for it, but he still enjoyed being out of school. Dean couldn't be happy though. He just couldn't. He hadn't seen Castiel since Monday, and he hadn't tried to contact him in any way. Dean knew he'd messed up big time, but he'd already apologized, so what else could he do? He didn't know what Cas expected of him. He was extremely desperate, but he wasn't going to show it. As much as he wanted Cas, he wasn't going to go crawling after him on his knees. And that was that. 

As Dean pulled into his driveway and parked, he nodded to himself, mind made up. He was done. Done losing sleep over Cas, done stressing out over his mistakes, and done thinking about him. If Cas didn't want to talk about it, fine. 

Dean was feeling very confident and pleased with his decision as he got out of his car and walked up to the front door. He opened it with a small smile on his face, but he quickly froze when he saw Castiel, sitting at the table with Sam and helping him with his homework. Before Dean could even get his thoughts straight, he felt red-hot jealousy bubbling up inside. Castiel was /his/ tutor. Not Sam's. And if Sam needed help with his homework, he could always ask Dean for help. Sure, Dean might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he was Sam's big brother. He was supposed to help. Dean felt his face pale. He remembered feeling the same way a while ago, when John was trying to be Sam's best friend. 

"Hey Dean," Sam said a little nervously, looking up at Dean through his bangs. It was almost as if he knew Dean would be ticked off about this.

Castiel glanced up for a moment, his eyes wide, and he gave Dean a little nod before looking back down. 

Dean didn't answer, just stood there for a moment, unable to move. After about a minute, he just walked past, putting a little more force into his steps than usual. He almost missed it, but as he was leaving, he heard Cas whisper, "Do you still think this is a good idea?" Dean stopped walking and stood still, waiting to hear a reply from Sam, but he got nothing. Awesome. The two of them with the scheming and their plans. But Dean was so over it. He stomped up to his room and slammed the door, making sure it was loud enough for Castiel and Sam to hear.

"Dammit," Dean cursed under his breath, banging his head against the closed door and letting it rest there. Dean felt like he'd changed so much since Cas had entered his life. And yeah, some of it was good, but some of it was just awful. He was more stressed than he could ever remember being, and it was all because of some stupid boy. Some stupid, generous, kind, ridiculously hot boy. Dammit.

"Hey, Dean? I'm coming in," Sam said from the other side of the door before pushing it open. He had a determined look on his face and he was holding on to Cas by the sleeve, dragging him into Dean's room behind him.

Dean furrowed his brow, refusing to look at Cas. "Sam, what the h- "

"Stop. I'm sick and tired of this," Sam cut him off, looking up at Cas, whose eyes were wide. He looked just as confused and surprised as Dean felt. He then switched his gaze to Dean. "I'm not even sure what all is going on between you two, but it's annoying the shit out of me. You guys are acting like an old married couple." He paused and shook his head. "No, you're acting like twelve year old girls."

Dean was at a loss for words. And Cas looked frozen, his blue eyes bugging out and his mouth open. He shook his head and opened and closed his mouth a few times, obviously trying to find words.

"You like each other, right?" Sam asked, eyebrows raised as he looked between Cas and Dean. "Right?" He tried again, a little louder this time. When neither of them answered, he answered for them. "You do. I've never seen Dean act this emotional in his life. If it's not love, then I don't know what it is."

"Well, I wouldn't call it love..." Castiel said, looking straight at Dean and clearly trying to make a jab at him. Dean glared right back, and Sam huffed audibly. 

"See? That's the kind of crap I'm talking about." He frowned deeply and released Castiel's sleeve, pacing around the room for a moment before looking back at them. "I've done everything I can." He looked at Dean. "I thought that if I brought Cas over here, you'd want to talk things out with him, but I was wrong. So, I'm gonna go. And you two are gonna stay in here and /talk/ to each other. Got it?" He raised his eyebrows, arms folded over his chest before he nodded at them and left the room, closing the door behind him. 

There was a very long, very uncomfortable moment of silence after Sam left, and Dean silently pleaded that Sam would return and make things less awkward. The amount of awkwardness was almost painful, and Dean wished he could muster up the courage to just say something. To his surprise, Cas beat him to it.

"Dean," he said, looking over at him. His eyes were a little wet and red, which made Dean's heart do a little flip. "Sam is right. The only way we're ever going to work this out is if we talk to each other." He sat down on Dean's bed, his legs dangling off the side. "So let's talk."

Dean sat down on the bed beside Cas, not speaking a word. All of the decisions he'd made earlier went out the door. Sam /was/ right. Dean had never acted or felt this way over anyone else, and that was something special. He didn't want to lose that something. He couldn't lose that something.

The harshness in Castiel's features softened a bit as he looked over at Dean. "I want to understand why you said what you did."

Dean nodded and rubbed his sweaty palms on his jean-clad thighs, sucking in a deep breath before responding. "I wasn't ready for anyone to know. Especially not those guys. They would..." he paused and shook his head. "I don't know. They're not good guys, and they would make a big deal out of it and tell the whole school." He bit his lip and continued to rub his hands on his jeans. "I know there's nothing wrong with being gay. Or bi...or whatever I am." He blushed deeply and swallowed hard, clearing his throat. "But I need to accept who I am before I come out. Until I'm comfortable with myself...it has to stay under wraps." He looked down and began tapping his fingers on his knees nervously. "If a few close friends know, that's fine. But I'm just...not ready. And when they almost found out, I freaked and I didn't know what to do." He felt his lower lip begin to quiver, and he closed his eyes for a moment, taking another deep breath. "I'm really, really sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean a single thing I said," he finished, eyes still closed.

A moment passed before he registered Castiel's warm, rough hands closing over one of his own and the pad of the other's thumb brushing the back of his palm. "It's okay. It's good that we're talking about this. You don't have to cry."

"I'm not crying..." Dean said, lifting his free hand to his cheek and furrowing his brow when he felt wetness there. "Oh."

Castiel chuckled softly and pulled his hands back. "I guess it's my turn."

Dean opened his eyes and looked over at Castiel, confused. "What? You don't have anything to apologize for."

"Yes, I do," Castiel said slowly, running his fingers through his hair. "I feel like I pushed you when you weren't ready. I pushed you to go out in public with me, and I shouldn't have done that. And I wouldn't even listen when you tried to talk to me or explain yourself. I'm sorry."

Dean bit his lip and blinked a few times. "It's okay."

"So are we good?" Castiel asked, a hint of hopefulness in his voice as he looked over at Dean.

"Yeah." Dean smiled softly.

***

About an hour later, Dean and Cas were almost back to normal. In fact, Cas had stayed for dinner (which was Chinese takeout), and the two of them were sitting on Dean's bed with their cartons of food, eating and talking to each other. 

Sam poked his head into the room and raised his eyebrows at the two of them. "Well, you two look pretty happy."

"Yeah, I'd say we are," Castiel said. He was sitting up, leaned back against the headboard, with Dean practically sitting on his lap. Castiel had one arm wrapped around the other's waist.

Sam grinned. "Finally. You're welcome, by the way."

Dean chuckled softly and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, thanks Sammy." Just as Sam was leaving, Dean stopped him. "Did Dad say when he was going to be home?"

Sam shrugged. "Dunno. If he's not back in a few minutes, he's probably not gonna be back tonight," he said before leaving the room.

Surprisingly, Dean wasn't upset about that. So, Dad was probably passed out in a bar somewhere or spending the night at a sleazy motel. Dean couldn't bring himself to be upset. He was too happy. "You should spend the night," he said to Castiel as he cracked open a fortune cookie.

"I'd love to, but I'd have to borrow some clothes and a toothbrush and stuff," Cas said, reaching up to run his fingers through Dean's short hair.

"Awesome." Dean closed his eyes, sighing softly. Finally, things were getting better. He bit a piece off of his cookie and looked at the fortune, which read, 'Stop searching forever. Happiness is right beside you.'

***

Some time later, Castiel and Dean were cuddled up in Dean's bed. It was about seven o'clock, almost eight, and they were having a rather heated makeout session under the covers.

"God, I missed you so much," Castiel said in between kisses, his breathing heavy and his forehead pressed against Dean's. 

Dean nodded in agreement and pressed himself closer to Castiel, his heart pumping and head spinning. 

Their kisses were hot and wet and sloppy and passionate, and their hands roamed frantically over each other's bodies. Dean could hear blood rushing in his ears, and his hips bucked against Castiel's unconsciously. 

When that happened, Castiel pulled away and looked at Dean, his cheeks flushed and his mouth hanging open. "Dean..." he breathed.

"M'sorry," Dean's cheeks reddened even more as he struggled to keep his hips still. 

"No, no," Castiel shook his head, chest heaving. "I just...we've never..."

"I know," Dean cut him off. "But I want to." Dean had been thinking about it for a while. If there was any guy he wanted to have sex with, it was Cas. He'd been a little apprehensive about doing anything sexual with Castiel before, but now that he was finally beginning to accept himself...it just felt right. And if Cas was a girl, Dean would've hit that a long time ago. So now he was asking himself, what's the difference? Just because Cas was male didn't mean he was off limits. Not anymore, at least. 

Castiel swallowed hard. "I don't know." He bit his lip, seeming more nervous than Dean felt. "I don't want to hurt you. And...and..." he blushed. "Are you a virgin?" 

Dean felt his face heat up to the tips of his ears, and he shook his head quickly. "I'm not a fucking virgin," he muttered, face as red as a tomato. 

Castiel chuckled softly and leaned down to kiss Dean. "You're very cute."

Dean blushed deeper and furrowed his brow. 

"Okay, but, you've never been with a guy before, have you?" Castiel asked, waiting for an answer. "It's very different than what you're used to. I don't know if we should do this right now. And you're only sixteen. You're underage." 

Dean rolled his eyes. "I don't care. I want this." He paused. "I'll be seventeen in a month."

Castiel sighed heavily. "I could still get in a lot of trouble. Maybe we should just wait until you turn eighteen."

Dean shook his head quickly. "C'mon, Cas, don't be like that. It'll be fine. And I know you want this too."

"You're pressuring me," Castiel said with a small smirk.

"Yeah, I am," Dean said, raising an eyebrow. They stared at each other for a moment before Castiel nodded with a heavy sigh. 

"I don't have any lube, or even a condom," Castiel said, leaning in to kiss the tip of Dean's nose. 

Dean huffed. "I'm clean. We don't need a condom. But, I might have a few downstairs if you really want one. And I have lube right here," he explained, gesturing to his nightstand drawers. 

Castiel pressed a hand to his forehead and nodded. "I'm all out of excuses. Fine. We can do it. But if you want to stop at any time...just tell me to, and I'll stop. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, Dean."

Dean nodded, suddenly feeling nervous once he realized that this was actually going to happen. "Okay."

"Okay," Castiel nodded as well. He leaned in to kiss Dean softly, almost as if he could sense the worry in him. "I'll take care of you."

Dean swallowed hard and nodded, taking a deep breath before he wrapped his arms around Castiel's shoulders and pulled him down into another deep kiss.

They continued to kiss for a few moments before Castiel pulled away and placed his hands on Dean's shoulders, gently pushing him from his side onto his back. He crawled over him, hovering above him and looking down. "You're so beautiful," he whispered as he pressed his mouth to Dean's neck, kissing and licking and mouthing at the soft skin, trying not to leave any marks.

Dean closed his eyes and relished in the feeling of Castiel's hot tongue sliding over his skin, his heart rate increasing again. He tipped his head back to give Castiel more access, exposing the smooth planes of his neck.

Castiel continued to work there for a few more minutes before sliding both hands under Dean's shirt, his hands moving up to Dean's chest and brushing over his nipples as he continued to suck on his neck. Dean let out a gasp at that, and he could almost see Castiel making notes in his head about how to best pleasure Dean. 

Castiel sat up slightly and slid Dean's shirt off, groaning at the sight of his bare chest. There was a freckle right below his right nipple, and Castiel leaned down to lick and nibble at it. 

Dean arched his back and curled his toes when he felt Castiel's mouth there, and he squeezed his eyes shut, tipping his head back. "Oh god..."

"Do you like that, Dean?" Castiel asked, pulling his mouth away for a moment and looking over at Dean. Once Dean nodded, Cas smiled a little and leaned down, closing his mouth completely over Deans' nipple.

Dean gasped sharply and gripped the bedsheets tightly, clenching his teeth. "Y-yeah, I like that," he said breathlessly. 

"I can tell," Castiel chuckled, flicking his tongue over the nub and teasing it with his mouth. He continued to lick at that one, and used his hand to pinch and play with the other one. 

Dean could feel himself falling apart already, and it was almost embarrassing. But he was enjoying it. A lot. 

Castiel finally gave up the relentless teasing on his nipples, and he began to kiss down Dean's chest until he reached the waistband of his jeans. He smiled up at Dean before unbuttoning them and pulling those down as well as his boxers. 

Dean groaned softly when his dick, which was already hard, was freed. He groaned even louder when he felt Castiel's talented mouth close over the head.

Castiel held Dean's cock at the base and went to town, licking and sucking and mouthing at the sides and the tip, dipping his tongue into the slit and causing Dean to arch his back and throw his head back. 

"Oh fuck, Cas..." He moaned deeply again, squeezing his eyes shut and trying not to let go yet. He'd gotten blowjobs from girls before, but this was different. Maybe because Castiel was more experienced, or maybe because he could feel Castiel's scruff brushing against his skin. Either way, it was amazing.

After a moment, Castiel leaned back up and kissed Dean's lips again, letting him taste himself. Dean moaned at the sensation, his toes curling as Castiel licked into his mouth. They continued to kiss for another minute before Cas pulled away. "I need lube."

Dean didn't have enough energy to form words, so he just grabbed the lube from his nightstand drawer and handed it to Cas, a thrum of nervous energy flowing through his veins. 

"Okay, I'm going to get you ready now. If it hurts, tell me," Castiel instructed. It was kind of an unspoken agreement that Dean would bottom. It seemed like Cas had more experience, like he really knew what he was doing, so Dean thought it would be best if he let him do most of the work.

Castiel scooted back until he was between Dean's legs, and he spread them apart before coating his fingers in the lube. 

Dean held his breath when he felt Castiel's fingers, slick with lube, brush over his hole. He had to admit, it was weird and not very pleasurable to have someone touching him there. It felt strange. He wasn't used to it. Dean had a sudden urge to close his legs and he felt his face burn with shame.

Luckily for him, Castiel noticed his discomfort and pulled his fingers back, looking up at Dean with concern. "We really don't have to do this. I know how...different and uncomfortable this can be."

"No, I'll be fine," Dean said, setting his jaw and looking down at Cas. "I want this. Just...gimme a minute."

Castiel hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Okay." He waited a few minutes before pressing his fingers back to Dean's entrance and sliding one in. Dean had his eyes closed and was breathing deeply, trying not to feel embarrassed. There was no need to feel embarrassed. They both wanted this.

"Are you good?" Castiel asked as he slid in another finger, using his free hand to rub Dean's side gently. 

"Yes," Dean replied breathlessly, his voice strained. "Keep going."

Castiel nodded and began to scissor his fingers, moving them around inside Dean until he found his prostate. Cas smiled to himself and pressed on the little nub, which immediately elicited a response from Dean. 

Dean had no idea what Cas did, but he definitely did something, because all of a sudden Dean felt pleasure shoot through his body like jolts of electricity, and he let out a sound that fell somewhere in between a moan and a wail. "Shit...wha-what was that?" he asked, toes still curled.

"Your prostate. I'm guessing you enjoyed that?" Castiel asked, a little pride in his voice as he slid one more finger into Dean, using all three of the digits to stretch him open and get him ready. 

Dean couldn't even answer, so he just flopped his head back on the pillow, sighing softly and groaning a little as he felt the pain of being stretched begin to turn into pleasure. "I'm ready."

Castiel nodded and leaned up to give Dean a quick kiss, pulling his fingers out, before he got the lube again and slicked his hand up. He used his other hand to tug down his own pants, and then slowly began to stroke himself, coating his cock in lube.

Dean watched with anticipation, his heart racing. Finally, Castiel positioned himself in front of Dean's entrance and looked down at him. He began to push in at a moderate pace, leaning down and kissing Dean deeply to try and distract him from the pain.

Dean winced and he tried to keep inhaling deeply, doing his best to focus on Castiel's lips rather than the stretch. Once Castiel was fully in, the pain eased a little bit, and Dean let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. 

Cas gave him a moment to get used to the feeling before kissing him again. He began thrusting- small thrusts at first, little short bursts that made Dean let out a choppy moan every time he pushed in. The pleasure was beginning to come through, and Dean closed his eyes, mouth hanging open. 

Castiel moaned and slid a hand up Dean's chest and across his arm until he reached the other's hand. He grabbed onto it and squeezed gently, thrusting a little faster as he moaned loudly. "You're s-so tight," He said as he thrusted, his voice strained. 

Dean's blush deepened and he pulled Cas down into another heated kiss, groaning against his lips and threading his fingers through Castiel's raven hair. Yeah...it was definitely different than sex with a girl, probably because he was the one taking it. But still, it was good. It was hot. And he liked it. He liked feeling full like this. "I'm not gonna last much...longer," he said breathlessly, squeezing Castiel's hand and intertwining their fingers. 

"It's okay," Castiel assured, burying his face into Dean's neck as he continued to thrust. "Y-you can let go whenever you need to." Castiel's thrusts grew a little rougher and faster, and he grunted every time he pushed in, moaning and biting down lightly on Dean's neck.

When Dean felt Castiel's teeth close on his neck, he wrapped one arm around the man's shoulders and pulled him close, his mouth open as he gasped for air. Dean felt that familiar pool of heat begin to brew in the pit of his stomach, and he closed his eyes, holding on tighter to Castiel as he thrusted into him. "M'gonna come," he warned, fingernails digging into Castiel's shoulders as he held on and let the pleasure take him over. 

Castiel briefly slowed his thrusts and leaned up slightly, placing a hand on Dean's cock and stroking it in time with his thrusts, which were gradually beginning to speed up again. 

Dean threw his head back, eyes still tightly closed. "Oh shit, oh fuck, oh...oh...Cas!" Dean moaned loudly and came with a cry of Castiel's name, his back arching off the bed and his toes curling. He couldn't even describe how amazing that orgasam was. It was unlike anything he'd ever experienced with a girl, or while jerking off. It was indescribable, and he continued to moan as Castiel kept fucking him, and jolts of the aftershock coursed through his limp body. 

Castiel's thrusts grew faster and more erratic, until he finally gave one last push and came inside of Dean, gripping the other's hips and letting out a gasp and a moan, his chest heaving up and down and sweat rolling down his brow. He was beautiful.

***

The next morning, Castiel and Dean went downstairs for some breakfast. Dean's cheeks were still a bit rosy, and he had a goofy, lopsided smile on his face, as he was still feeling elated from the events of the night before. 

Castiel had sex hair /and/ bedhead, which was a pretty interesting combination, because not only was his hair sticking up every which way, it was also flattened to the side of his head where he'd slept. 

Dean yawned as they made it downstairs, and he furrowed his brow when he saw Sam sitting on the couch, surrounded by his bedsheets and pillows. "You slept down here?" Dean asked, running his fingers through his hair. "Why?"

Sam looked up and scowled at the two of them, though there was a tiny glint of amusement in his eyes as well. "Thin walls."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! All you artists out there (or those of you who know an artist who is willing to do requests), I would really love to have the last chapter of this fic illustrated. I would give credit of course! Let me know in the comments if you're interested. :)


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when this fic was updated weekly? Those were the days.

"Cas is coming over later," Dean mentioned casually to Sam as the two of them sat side-by-side on the couch, watching some cheesy Christmas movie. It was the twenty-third, almost Christmas, and they were excited...ish. Christmas wasn't a very big deal in the Winchester household. No one came over, they didn't make a big dinner, they'd been using the same plastic tree since Dean was four, and they didn't always get presents for each other. Dean had planned on going over to Castiel's house, but then he found out that Cas would be with his family. Christmas to the Novaks was like Thanksgiving to the Winchesters. And that was okay. Dean didn't have to see Cas every single day. Things had been great since they...made love. Dean thought that it might be awkward being around him at first, but it wasn't. At all. They were both happy and infatuated with each other, and Dean thought about Cas all the time.

Sam groaned at that and gave Dean a pleading look. "Is he spending the night?"

Dean paused the movie, turning to give Sam a surprised look. "What? I thought you liked Cas."

"I do." Sam shrugged, blushing slightly. "I just don't want him to sleep over," he muttered, a little embarrassed. 

Dean furrowed his brow for a moment, confused, until realization crossed over his features, and he laughed loudly, punching Sam in the arm. "Oh...I get it now." He laughed louder. "It's a beautiful, natural act, Sam."

"It's something I never wanted to hear, Dean," Sam retorted, face as red as a tomato. "Just play the damn movie," he mumbled. 

Dean chuckled softly and pressed play, and after a few more moments of watching the movie, Dean turned the volume down and looked over at his brother. "Don't worry. He's not sleeping over. Actually, I think we're gonna meet some of my friends downtown." 

Relief was evident on Sam's face, and he even smiled a little. "Cool. So you're finally gonna introduce him to Charlie and Benny?" 

"Yep." Dean nodded. "And I think they're bringing their girlfriends."

"Ooh, so it'll be like a triple date?" Sam asked with a grin.

Dean chuckled softly. "Yeah, weirdo. It'll be a triple date."

"Have you wrapped his present yet?" Sam asked, turning most of his attention back to the movie. 

Dean tensed up. "Shit." He'd completely forgotten to wrap it. "I'll be back. I need to get dressed too. If Cas comes, tell him I'll be down in a minute," Dean said before heading towards the stairs.

Once he was in his bedroom, Dean knelt down and reached under his bed, pulling out the box with Castiel's gift in it. It was just a little something. At first, Dean thought that he would make something from the heart, but then he realized that homemade gifts required a certain amount of creativity, which was not really his forte. So, he'd ended up just buying something. The minute he saw it, he knew that it belonged in Castiel's closet. Dean didn't really know what it was about it...but it just screamed Castiel. Inside the box was a tan trenchcoat. It was pretty high-quality, Dean had to admit. And he'd ended up spending almost all his money on it, but it was so worth it. Dean stood up, box in his hands, and carried it back downstairs to the living room. "Hey, do we have any wrapping paper?"

Sam raised his eyebrows at the question, thinking for a moment before he shook his head. "I doubt it. If I were you, I'd just use newspaper."

Dean groaned at that, shaking his head. "I can't use newspaper. That'll look cheap."

"No it won't. I think it'd look artsy...or something," Sam promised with a small smile. 

Dean rolled his eyes and nodded, heading back upstairs. "Well, I guess I don't really have another option."

***

About forty-five minutes later, Dean was finally ready. Even though they were just going to some diner downtown, Dean still felt like he had to dress nicely for some reason. He wasn't super fancy, but he did dress a little nicer than his usual ripped jeans and faded tee. He was wearing a white v-neck with his dark brown leather jacket over it, along with some neat, dark wash jeans. He spritzed a little bit of cologne behind his ears and ran a comb through his hair before he finally deemed himself presentable.

"Dean, Cas is here!" Sam called from downstairs, interrupting Dean's inspection of himself. 

"Okay, I'll be right down!" Dean called back, grinning at his reflection before heading out of his bedroom, grabbing the newspaper-wrapped gift on his way out. 

When Dean got downstairs and saw Castiel standing in the doorway, he froze. Cas was wearing the trenchcoat. The exact same trenchcoat that Dean bought him for a gift. In the few seconds that followed, many thoughts were traveling through Dean's head. Should he just tell Cas that he'd gotten him something he already had? Should he give him the gift anyway and just play dumb? Should he just leave it here and buy him something else? Dean cleared his throat and slid the box under the couch before Cas could see, and then he composed himself before walking closer to greet him. 

"Hello Dean," Castiel said warmly, smiling over at the younger boy. Apparently, he could sense Dean's distress, because he furrowed his brow and tilted his head to the side slightly before asking, "Is everything okay?" 

Sam glanced at Dean and mouthed, 'Sorry,' to him, rubbing his hands together. He knew how excited Dean had been about the gift. 

Dean cleared his throat and tried to shake it off, taking a deep breath. "Yup. Everything's fine. You ready to go?"

Castiel nodded and said goodbye to Sam before taking Dean's hand and walking outside with him. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked with concern, walking with Dean to his car and getting into the driver's seat. 

Dean got in on the other side and buckled his seatbelt before sighing softly and giving Castiel a smile. He needed to forget about this for now so he could have a good time with Castiel and his friends. "Positive."

"Good," Castiel said as he began to drive. "So we're meeting your friends at a restaurant? I can't wait to meet them."

"Mhm," Dean nodded. "Charlie, Benny, and their girlfriends." 

Castiel nodded and smiled a little. "Oh, so it will be like a triple date?"

Dean laughed loudly at that, shaking his head in amusement. "That's exactly what Sammy said."

After a few more minutes, they pulled into the driveway of the diner. Before Dean could get out, Castiel placed a hand on Dean's shoulder and raised his eyebrows. "Dean, how has your father been? It's been awhile since you've talked about him."

In reality, there was a reason that Dean hadn't mentioned his dad. He left again. Dean didn't know where he went, or why he left, or even if he would be back before Christmas. He'd been gone since Cas and Dean made up. Dean didn't want Sam to worry, so he'd just been telling him that Dad was at a car show with Bobby. Working. Doing what he was supposed to do. Sam had been repeatedly asking if Dad would be back for Christmas, and though Dean hated lying to his brother, he couldn't exactly tell him the truth either. So Dean told him that Dad would definitely be back in time. Dean really didn't want to tell Cas all of that though. At least, not now. Now, he just wanted to have a good time with Cas and his friends, so he put on a smile and nodded. "Yeah, everything's fine. He's just been working."

Castiel furrowed his brow slightly and stared at Dean for a moment before nodding. "Okay," he said, obviously a little skeptical. Dean was very relieved when Cas decided to let it go for the moment. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Dean's cheek before getting out of the car. 

Dean took a deep breath before getting out of the car as well. Castiel wrapped an arm around around Dean's waist and walked into the diner with him. Dean smiled a little once they entered. Honestly, he didn't feel nervous at all this time. The last time he went out in public with Cas, he'd been so worried that someone might see them, but now, he didn't feel that way at all. Maybe the fight had actually been a blessing, in a way. It'd humbled Dean and helped him to realize what he had, and how lost he felt when he didn't have that. 

"Is that her?" Castiel asked, gesturing to a red-haired girl sitting at a booth with another brunette girl who had her hair pulled back into a bun. 

Dean nodded and walked over there with Castiel, a smile on his face. "Hey guys."

"Dean!" Charlie said excitedly, standing up with a grin. "And this must be Castiel," she said, waggling her eyebrows at Dean not-so-subtly before holding her hand out and shaking Castiel's firmly. "Charlie Bradbury. I've heard so much about you."

"Castiel Novak. I've heard a lot about you as well," Cas said, shaking Charlie's hand as well before nodding at the girl standing behind her. "And this is your girlfriend?"

Charlie stepped aside for a moment and placed a hand on the small of the taller girl's back, letting her step forward. 

"Dorothy Baum, nice to meet you," she said with a smile, shaking Castiel's hand before turning to Dean. "It's good to see you again, Dean." 

Once they were done saying their greetings, Dean slid into the booth, and Cas sat down beside him. "So, when's Benny getting here?" Dean asked, grabbing Castiel's hand under the table. 

Charlie shrugged and slung an arm over Dorothy's shoulders, sipping her soda. "Dunno. He texted me a minute ago and said he was on his way. You know how he's always late to everything."

"Yeah." Dean chuckled, squeezing Castiel's hand softly and intertwining their fingers. "Have you met Andrea yet? I've never talked to her." Andrea was a sophomore, so Dean rarely saw her. Benny knew her because she was his neighbor, and they'd been friends for a while. 

Charlie grinned, nodding. "Oh yeah. She's really sweet."

A few minutes later, Benny walked in, his arm wrapped around a pretty girl with tan skin and a dark braid resting on her right shoulder. "Well, hey everyone," Benny said, ruffling Charlie's hair and nodding at Dean and Dorothy. When his eyes landed on Cas, he stuck his hand out and shook his hand. "Benny Lafitte. And this sweetheart here is Andrea Kormos," he said with a wink, gesturing to his girlfriend, who gave a little wave. "It's nice to finally see you in person, Castiel. Dean talks about you all the time."

"Does he?" Castiel asked with a smirk, glancing over at Dean and laughing when he saw how red the younger boy's face was. 

Charlie nodded before scooting over in the booth to make room for Benny and Andrea. "Yup. You should hear him at lunch. He goes on and on and on...right Benny?"

Benny nodded and agreement. "Yeah. It can get pretty annoying," he joked with a chuckle, glancing over at Dean.

Dean could feel his face burning to the tips of his ears and he cleared his throat, quickly calling over a waiter just to change the subject.

"Everyone ready to order?" the waiter asked, pulling out a pad of paper and a pen. 

"We sure are," Charlie said with a grin, leaning over the table to ruffle Dean's hair before looking back at the waiter. "I'll take the chicken sandwich with a side of fries. Oh, and can I have a refill of this rootbeer?" she asked, holding her half-empty cup out to the waiter. 

As everyone else ordered, Castiel leaned over and spoke to Dean. "What are you ordering?"

"A bacon cheeseburger," Dean replied, closing his menu and turning to face Cas. 

Castiel nodded and contemplated that for a moment. "Hm. I think I'll get that also. But minus the bacon. And the cheese."

Dean furrowed his brow and smiled in amusement. "So just a normal, cheeseless burger then? What, you on a health kick or something?"

Castiel's cheeks flushed slightly. "No, I'm not on a health kick. Sam has just been teaching me some useful information about nutrition, that's all," he said casually, shrugging.

Dean snorted and rolled his eyes. "Don't listen to Sam. He eats like a rabbit. That's probably why he's so small."

"Dean, Sam is almost your height. I wouldn't classify him as small," Castiel said with a small smile.

Dean ran his fingers through his dark-blond hair and shook his head. "Whatever. He's always gonna be five feet tall in my book."

"Hey, brother," Benny said, clearing his throat and raising his eyebrows at Dean from across the table. "Go ahead." He gestured to the waiter, who was standing there as if waiting to take someone's order.

Dean smiled a little and nodded. "My bad. I'll have a bacon cheeseburger and a cherry coke."

Once the waiter had that written down, Castiel spoke up as well. "I'll have a regular burger. No cheese. And just a water for me, thanks," he said, closing his menu and handing it to the waiter. 

When Dean heard Castiel order water, he turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "Not on a health kick, huh?"

***

"So, you all go to the same school?" Castiel asked the group as they waited for their food to arrive. 

"Yeah," Dorothy answered with a nod, sipping her drink. "And we're all in the same grade except for Andrea. She's a year younger."

Benny nodded. "Yep. What about you? How old are you?"

"He's twenty. And he's an old man," Dean answered for him with a grin.

Castiel rolled his eyes at that. "I am not an old man. You're just a little boy."

Andrea smiled at them from across the table. "You guys are so adorable. How do you know each other?"

"Here's the story," Dean said with a smile, scooting a little closer to Cas. "I suck at math, and Cas is a genius, so Mr. Henriksen set us up for tutoring sessions. As you can see...tutoring turned into a lot more than just that."

Charlie started laughing hysterically, so loudly that Dean was worried her drink would come spewing out of her nose. "What?" Dean asked, furrowing his brow.

"I'm sorry," Charlie said in-between laughs. "But that sounded like the opening to a porno."

***

Several minutes later, the talking had somewhat died down, because their food had arrived. Dean could feel Castiel's eyes on him as he sipped his cherry coke, and Dean chuckled softly, knowing that the other man was feeling envious. Yeah, he was definitely on a health kick. Sitting there with his bland burger and tasteless water...Dean had to admit that he felt a little bad for the guy. So he did what any supportive boyfriend would do. "Wanna sip?"

Castiel raised his eyebrows at that and cleared his throat, blinking a few times before shaking his head. "What? Oh, no, I shouldn't. Really..."

Dean raised an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side, scooting the glass a little closer to Cas. "You sure? One sip ain't gonna hurt you."

Castiel looked from the coke, to Dean, and back to the coke. "Well, as you're so insistent," he said, raising the glass to his lips and taking a small sip, then another, and then another. Just then, a baby in the back of the diner began wailing, and the noise startled Cas and made him flinch, the red liquid in the glass sloshing over the side and landing right onto Castiel's trenchcoat. "Oh..." he frowned, looking down at the mess.

Dean couldn't help but feel his stomach do a little excited flip. If the coat was ruined...then he would still be able to give Cas his Christmas gift. "Do you think it'll come out?" he asked as Castiel took the coat off and folded it up with a sigh. 

Andrea furrowed her brow and shook her head. "It probably won't. I spilled that stuff on a shirt I had once and I had to get rid of it. The stain just wouldn't come out."

"Damn," Castiel muttered, frowning. "That's my favorite coat."

Dean smiled to himself before sipping the coke to hide his grin.

***

About an hour later, they were saying their goodbyes, and Cas was holding his stained coat delicately, as if he didn't want to ruin it any more. 

"I like your friends," Castiel said as he and Dean walked out to the car, hand in hand. 

Dean smiled and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, they're pretty great. And they weren't /too/ embarrassing. So that's good."

Castiel chuckled and shook his head. "Don't be so sure. Charlie got my number, and she said she would send me plenty of pictures of you from sixth grade."

Dean's eyes widened and he felt his face heat up at just the thought. "Oh god no," he said as he got into the passenger side of Castiel's car, tipping his head back against the headrest. "That was my bad year. I was scrawny, and I had braces, and my hair was a mess..."

Castiel leaned over and kissed Dean firmly on the lips to get him to be quiet. "Relax. I bet you were adorable."

Dean shook his head and opened his mouth again, ready to protest, but he was cut off when Castiel handed him a small box wrapped in shiny green paper.

"Merry Christmas," Castiel said with a warm smile. "Open it."

Dean blushed again and grinned, tearing the paper off and opening the box that was inside it. He felt his face get even redder when he saw what was inside. A simple silver band. "It's beautiful..." he started.

"Wait. Read the inside," Cas said, a wide smile on his face.

Dean raised his eyebrows and held the ring up so he could read what was engraved on the inside. Of course there was more. There was always more when it came to Cas. He never settled for just the usual thing. He went the extra mile. Dean felt his eyes well up when he read the inside. 'Dean, I didn't know what I was missing until I met you' was engraved there, and Dean swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. "Cas..." he started. 

"It's so true. Before I met you, I felt like there was a part of me missing. I don't know how to describe it, but it was like...a hole. A void inside of me. And now it's gone. You filled that void, Dean. And I...well, I love you."

Dean felt the tears spill over and he slipped the ring onto his left ring finger before leaning over and enveloping Cas into a giant bear hug. "I love you too," he whispered. Dean wasn't the type of person who confessed their love like that. He just wasn't that vulnerable. He wasn't willing to have his feelings so on display in that way. But of course, Cas was his exception. Everything felt so euphoric in that moment. If he listened hard enough, he could almost hear harps playing in the background. 

"Your gift is at home. You'll love it," Dean said as he pulled away, wiping the tears from his cheeks and smiling at Cas.

***

As soon as they got home, Dean ran into the house and came out a few minutes later, holding the newspaper-wrapped box in his hands. "Here ya go," he said, holding it out to Cas as he slid back into the car.

Castiel grinned and held the box up to his ear, shaking it a few times before pulling the paper off. When he saw what was inside the box, he grinned widely and looked up at Dean, his eyes wide. "What? How did you know I needed another one?" He joked with a smile. "This is amazing!" he said with a wide smile, holding up the coat and looking at Dean, elated. "I love it. And this one's even higher-quality than my last one. See? Feel the fabric."

Dean smiled and sighed in relief. He was so happy that everything had worked out. Now he just needed Dad to come back before December twenty-fifth, and everything would be perfect for once.


	28. Chapter 28

Two days later. It was December twenty-fifth, and Dad still hadn't come back. Dean had called him the night before and left a frantic message about how Sam really wanted him to be there, and how he couldn't keep disappearing like this, but John either didn't get the message, or he didn't care, because he still hadn't returned. And now Dean was stressed. Really stressed, because he'd lied to Sam and told him that Dad would definitely be back, and he'd blown all his money on Castiel's trenchcoat so he couldn't even get Sam a decent gift. Christmas had just started, and it was already terrible. Great. 

Dean woke up early that morning, because he knew what he had to do. It wasn't like he was just not going to get Sam a gift. He had to. He knew that Sam wasn't a little kid anymore, and he would understand if he didn't get presents this year, but Dean just felt really, really bad. He never really had any good Christmases, so he was trying to make up for that by giving Sam the best Christmases possible. Unfortunately, that hadn't really gone to plan. So here he was, leaving the house at four in the morning to go get a Christmas gift for his little brother. 

Dean crept downstairs quietly, trying not to wake Sam. They'd decorated the house the night before. Well, 'decorated' was somewhat of an overstatement. They'd put up the four foot tall plastic tree and decorated it with a few old ornaments as well as some air fresheners that Dean found buried in a closet. They hung up the stockings that they'd had since Sam was born. All four of them, side by side. 'Sam,' 'Dean,' 'John,' and 'Mary.' They always hung up their mother's stocking as well, because it just felt right. And that was as far as the decorations went.

Dean wasn't proud of what he was about to do. He really wasn't. But he felt like he had to make up for the fact that Dad wasn't there, by getting Sam a really great present. 

Once Dean was downstairs, he grabbed his jacket and put it on before sighing and slowly leaving the house, locking the door behind him. Dean frowned as he walked to his car, getting in and driving to the store. 

Dean already knew what he was going to get Sam for Christmas. The kid was constantly complaining about how he didn't have any of his own clothes, and how he only got to wear Dean's hand-me-downs, which were too big for him anyway, and how everyone else at his school got to wear cool, 'in', clothes. And honestly? Dean felt bad for him. He could understand how crappy it must feel for Sam. So he was going to do something about it. 

Dean parked his car a few blocks away from the store, just to be cautious, and then he began to walk towards the back entrance of the store. There weren't many people around, but every few minutes a car or two would drive by, and Dean knew that he had to look pretty suspicious strolling around near a little store at four in the morning, so he tried to get to the back entrance as quickly as he could. This was a bad idea. A really, really bad idea. 

When Dean reached the back entrance, he pulled out a lock pick he'd made earlier, and jammed it into the lock. The store was family-owned, and it was small and local, so the security would be easy to get past. Dean made it past the locks almost effortlessly. He pushed open the door, and as soon as he got one foot in, he heard a store alarm begin to wail, and it was louder than he'd expected. A lot louder. Dean's heart began to pound and he started to freak out a little, running around the store and trying to find out where the alarm was sourced. It was about a minute before he found it, but it felt like hours. When he reached it, Dean slashed the wires with his pocketknife, shutting down the alarm system. He swallowed hard and took a deep breath, shaking slightly with adrenaline. 

Once Dean had calmed down enough to think properly, he began to look for some clothes for Sam. Sam could use a few jeans that weren't faded and ripped, so Dean decided to look for those first. He grabbed a couple nice pairs of jeans off the shelf and shoved those in his bag before moving onto shirts. Sam usually just wore old t-shirts and flannels that used to belong to Dean, and Dean knew he would appreciate having some shirts that weren't old and worn out. Dean picked up a few nice t-shirts for Sam, the kind that had a little pocket on the upper left side. Apparently, at Sam's school those were pretty popular. And Dean knew that Sam just wanted to fit in. Dean also grabbed a few nice button up shirts and a pack of (not holey) socks before he figured that he had enough. 

Dean knew it wouldn't be long before people started waking up, and eventually someone would notice that the shop had been opened. So he had to get out of there as soon as he could. He just felt lucky that he'd been able to turn the alarm off before authorities were alerted. He didn't even want to think about what would've happened in that situation.

As soon as Dean was out of the store, he made a run to his car, his duffel bag slung over his shoulder. The sun was gonna rise soon, and Dean didn't want to caught anywhere near the store when it happened. Plus, he still had to get home and wrap the presents, and he didn't want Sam to wake up and not know where Dean went.

Eventually, Dean made it home. He walked quietly into the house and closed the door behind him, leaning against it and taking a moment to sigh in relief. That was easily one of the dumbest and most thrilling things Dean had ever done, and he didn't regret it. Not yet, at least. What mattered most to him was Sam's happiness, and if making Sam happy meant that he had to go to these lengths, then damn right he was gonna do it. 

After catching his breath and realizing what he'd just done, Dean burst out laughing, just out of relief that he'd actually made it. He quickly clamped a hand over his mouth, not wanting to wake Sam. Dean got some newspaper out from a cabinet in the living room, and he found some tape and some scissors before he began to wrap Sam's presents. Now that Dean had actually gotten the stuff, he felt a lot better about how Christmas was gonna be this year. 

Once all the gifts were wrapped, Dean shoved them under the tree and glanced at the clock. It was five-fifteen, which meant that Sam was probably gonna sleep for at least a couple more hours. Dean smiled a little. Now he could get a little more sleep as well. He began walking towards the stairs, yawning and blinking a few times, suddenly very tired now that the adrenaline had faded. When he made it to the top of the steps, Dean peeked into Sam's bedroom, smiling when he saw a Sam-sized lump curled up under the thin blankets. Sam let out a loud snore and Dean had to stifle a laugh as he closed the door and made his way to his own bedroom. Dean quickly changed out of his clothes and flopped onto the bed, and within minutes, he was fast asleep. 

***

A few hours later, Dean woke up to the familiar feeling of Sam shaking him awake. "Mhm...I'm up, I'm up," he muttered, slowly sitting up in bed and rubbing his eyes before focusing on Sam. "Merry Christmas," he said sleepily, offering up a smile. 

"Merry Christmas," Sam said in return, smiling back at Dean before asking the question that Dean had been dreading all week. "Where's Dad? You said he would be back. You promised."

Dean swallowed hard and rubbed the back of his neck nervously, preparing himself to recite the answer he'd decided on when he'd played this scenario in his head. "Uh, Dad called and said that he wasn't gonna be back in time. Him and Bobby were on their way back from the car show and they got stuck in traffic, so they just decided to crash at a motel for the night."

"Oh." Sam looked defeated, sitting down on the edge of Dean's bed and staring down into his lap. "Well, he should be back by tonight then, right? If they start driving again this morning?"

"Uh, I don't know, Sammy. Sorry. He didn't tell me much on the phone." Dean hated lying to his brother. He really did. He and Sam were a team. They were meant to stick together, especially in times like these. So Dean felt like he was betraying Sam. And that feeling fucking sucked. 

"Why didn't you let me talk to him? When did he call? I don't remember you answering the phone last night," Sam asked, furrowing his brow.

Dean wasn't prepared for all these questions, but he should've expected them. This was Sam, after all. "It was this morning. Really early. You were still asleep. I tried to wake you up, but you wouldn't budge." 

"I don't remember that."

"That's because you were asleep, dumbass," Dean laughed nervously. 

Sam shrugged at that and stood up. It looked like he was about to move on, but then he asked another question. "Well, I'm gonna call and wish him a Merry Christmas."

Dean froze. If Sam called, John wouldn't answer, and then Sam would be even more upset. "Wait - when I talked to him earlier he said that he'd be driving and he won't be able to answer the phone."

Sam furrowed his brow at Dean. "You're acting weird. I'll call Bobby instead then, and have him put me on the phone with Dad," Sam said, pulling his phone out and starting to dial Bobby's number.

"Uh..." Dean racked his brain for a way to stop Sam. "Hold on, Dad said that Bobby's phone broke. We won't be able to call him either."

Sam stared at Dean for a long time before he sighed and shoved his phone back into his pocket. "I'm not stupid, Dean. Dad didn't call, did he?" 

Dean thought about cooking up another lie, but he realized he'd dug himself too deep a hole, and it was time to get out. "No," he said simply, fiddling with his hands. 

"Wow. So he's gone to some car show, and he didn't even bother to call and let his kids know that he won't be home for Christmas. What an asshole - " 

"Wait," Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "There's something else. Dad...Dad's not working at a car show with Bobby. I don't know where he is. I'm sorry for lying, alright? I just didn't want you to worry." 

Sam's nostrils flared and he took a deep breath as well, obviously trying to keep his composure. "Dean, I'm tired of you lying to me about crap like this. I'm his son too, I have a right to know what's really going on. I don't care how bad it is." 

"You're right. I know. I'm really sorry. Really," Dean said, sighing heavily. 

Sam thought for a moment before replying. "It's fine. I guess it's just the two of us for Christmas this year." 

"Yeah," Dean muttered, scrubbing his hands over his face and sighing again. 

"I think we can make it fun. What's for breakfast?" Sam asked, clearly trying to move on.

Dean appreciated that Sam didn't want to dwell on this for too long, because Dean really didn't want to talk about it anymore either. "Whatever you want, Sammy," Dean said, standing up and clapping a hand on Sam's shoulder. "We have bacon, and eggs. And I think we have stuff to make pancakes or waffles." Dean paused and thought for a moment. "And we have a lot of fruit. I bought it yesterday, because I know you eat like a rabbit these days."

Sam rolled his eyes in annoyance, though he had a small, amused smile on his face. "I just want to be healthy."

"Mhm. And what did you do to Cas? We went to a diner the other day, and the dude ordered a plain burger, and a freakin' glass of water," Dean asked, raising his eyebrows accusingly. 

Sam laughed at that, heading towards the door. "I didn't do anything to him. I just told him about how important your health is and stuff like that."

Now it was Dean's turn to roll his eyes. "Weirdo." 

***

Some time later, the two boys were sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast. Dean had decided to make pancakes and eggs, and he also put together a huge bowl of fruit salad (at Sam's request). 

"So...can we open presents now?" Sam asked, waggling his eyebrows at Dean. 

Dean chuckled and nodded. "Sure. Just lemme call Cas first. You should call Jess too. Girls like when you think about them," Dean said with a smile, standing up to walk to the hall so he could call Cas.

"Hey, merry Christmas," Dean said cheerfully when Cas answered, his stomach doing a little flip like it did almost every time he talked to Cas.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Dean," Cas replied, a smile in his voice. "How has your day been so far? Your father is back, right?"

Dean cleared his throat before replying. "Uh, it's been...interesting. And no, actually, he's still gone." 

"Oh." Cas paused. "Are you sure he's working? Because I hate to say this, but there's a chance that he's taking another one of his...breaks." 

Dean frowned and closed his eyes for a moment. "I know. I don't know what he's doing. But I don't really want to talk about it right now."

"I wish I could help...I worry about you and Sam. I feel like you aren't safe," Cas spoke slowly.

"No. We're doin' just fine. I'll be seventeen in a month. I can take care of Sammy on my own," Dean said, somewhat defensively. 

"Mhm. And who takes care of you?" Castiel asked.

"I take care of me. Okay?" Dean asked, then sighed again. "Look, I've got everything under control. Sam and I are fine, and Dad will come back. He always does." 

"Okay..." Castiel said skeptically. "Let me know when he does." 

"I will," Dean replied, desperately wanting to change the subject. "So, what about you? How's Christmas at the Novak house?"

Castiel chuckled softly. "Extremely unexceptional. Very...boring. I can't wait to leave."

Dean smiled a little at that. "I wish you were here."

"Me too," Castiel replied.

They were silent for a moment before Dean heard some voices in the background of Castiel's call, and then Cas broke the silence.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I have to go. I excused myself from breakfast to take this call, and unfortunately, now I have to go back."

Dean nodded and leaned against the wall, running his fingers through his hair. "That's fine. We can talk later. I hope your day gets better."

"Same to you," Cas paused. "I love you." 

"I love you too," Dean said, holding back a giggle. Saying that over the phone felt so sappy and girly and chick-flicky, it should've made him want to puke. But instead, it just made him grin stupidly. He hung up the phone and just stood there for a moment, smiling to himself before going to join Sam in the living room.

"How's Cas?" Sam asked when he entered, raising his eyebrows.

"He's bored, but he seems alright. How's Jessica?" 

Sam smiled at her name. "She's good." 

"Good," Dean chuckled, ruffling Sam's hair before gesturing to the gifts. "Go ahead." 

Sam looked over at Dean and smiled before moving from the couch to sit on the floor so he could better open his gifts. "Wow...you bought all these? For me?" 

Dean nodded, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Open 'em."

Sam smiled widely before tearing the newspaper off of the first gift, which was the socks. "Hey, I really needed some new ones! I only had one pair left that wasn't all holey." 

Dean chuckled softly. What a dork. Sam was the only thirteen year old boy in the world who would genuinely be this happy to receive socks for Christmas.

Next, Sam opened the gift with the shirts, and the pure happiness in his eyes was worth all of the stress that Dean had to endure that morning. "This is awesome," Sam said, holding the shirts up before rubbing the soft fabric against his cheek, causing Dean to laugh. 

"I'm glad you like them," Dean said, smiling. "There's one more." 

Sam set the shirts aside gently, almost as if he didn't want to hurt them, before he opened the last gift. "Oh, wow, jeans that will actually fit me!" he joked, looking up at Dean. The jeans were probably Sam's favorite gift of all. He hated having to wear Dean's ripped, faded, too-large jeans to school. He set the jeans aside and stood up, walking over to Dean and hugging him tightly. "Thanks, Dean. Really."

Dean closed his eyes and hugged Sam back, taking a deep breath. So worth it. "It's nothing, Sammy. I just want you to have a good Christmas." 

"I am," Sam promised, pulling away and smiling at Dean before going to get one of the last two gifts from under the tree. One was for John, and the other was for Dean. "Here," Dean said, handing Dean his gift. "It's not much, but I thought you might like it."

Dean smiled. God, Sam was always thinking of other people. "You didn't have to get me anything," he muttered.

"Don't start," Sam cut him off, moving up to the couch to sit beside Dean. "It's just a little something." 

Dean unwrapped the gift and pulled it out, holding it up and grinning widely. It was a bracelet with brown beads, and some of the beads resembled little skulls. "This is so cool," he said, glancing over at Sam and sliding the bracelet onto his wrist. "Thanks bro." 

"It's nothing, Dean," Sam said, repeating Dean's words from earlier and smiling back at him. 

***

A few hours later, the two of them were sitting on the couch, watching some crappy tv Christmas special. Just then, a news report interrupted their program, and Dean felt his heart stop for a moment. 

"Please pardon this interruption. This just in, a local clothes store was robbed early this morning," the news anchor said. "We're still searching for the whereabouts of this person. If anyone has seen this man, please contact your police. He was spotted near the store around the same time of the robbery." A picture came up of Dean from the side, walking around to the back entrance of the store. It was a crappy picture, so it was hard to tell who it was, but Dean still felt his blood run cold and he immediately turned the tv off. 

"Hey, what'd you do that for?" Sam asked, furrowing his brow at Dean.

"N-nothing. I just don't feel like watching the news. I'll turn it back on once it goes back to our show," Dean said, heart pounding. He kept telling himself that he wouldn't get caught and that everything would be fine, but he couldn't help feeling like everything was gonna go to shit.


	29. Chapter 29

Dean was pretty damn scared, but he wasn't going to let it consume him. He still had a few more days of break left before school started back up, and he was going to make the best of it. It was kinda hard to do, especially because he had exams the week he got back to school, and his dad still hadn't come back, and the police were still looking for the person who robbed that store...but he was trying his best to ignore all that and stay happy.

Sometimes Dean regretted what he did, but when he saw how happy Sam was, coming downstairs in one of his new t-shirts and jeans, he felt better about it.

"Looking good, Sammy," Dean said with a grin, walking over to Sam and ruffling his hair. Dean was honestly really pissed about the whole thing. Why couldn't the store owners just let it go and stop looking for him? He didn't take that much stuff, and he didn't break anything except the alarm. It was their fault they got robbed, anyway. The security sucked. So you couldn't really blame Dean for doing what he did...right? 

"Thanks," Sam replied with a smile, swatting Dean's hand away. "I need a haircut. Can you schedule an appointment or something?" 

Dean sighed a little and shook his head. "Sorry Sammy. I'm dirt broke right now. Literally, I have no money. We'd just better hope that Dad comes back before the bills need to be paid, or else we'll have to stay with Cas for a while." He sighed again, pressing his hand to his forehead. "I might have to get a job." 

Sam furrowed his brow at that. "No you won't. Dad'll come back soon. Probably."

Dean chuckled dryly and nodded. "Yeah, thanks," he said, watching Sam brush his hair out of his face. "It is getting pretty shaggy. I could always cut it for you if you want."

Sam's eyes widened and he took a step back. "There's no way I'm letting you near my hair. I'll wait."

Dean laughed and shook his head in amusement as he grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He was going over to Cas' house to study for the upcoming exams, and Sam was going to hang out with Jessica. Just then, Dean's phone buzzed and he pulled it out, reading the text from Cas. "Cas is here. Let's go," he said, heading to the door and gesturing for Sam to follow him. 

"Okay," Sam said, following Dean outside. "Why aren't we taking your car again?" 

"Gas money," Dean replied with a small sigh, looking at his baby longingly. "I don't have a lot of gas left, so I'm trying to save it for when I really need to drive somewhere." 

Sam frowned. "Oh. Maybe you should get a job then." 

Dean nodded in agreement. "That's what I'm saying." Dean was really forward to spending some time with Cas that day. He needed to study, yeah, but every once in a while he just needed to talk to someone. Now was one of those times. 

"Hey, Cas," Sam said as he got into the backseat of Sam's car, buckling his seatbelt.

Cas turned around to look at Sam and give him a smile. "Hello, Sam. How was your Christmas?" 

Dean slid into the car, listening intently to hear Sam's answer.

"Pretty good, actually," Sam replied, and Dean could hear the smile in his voice. "How about you?"

Cas sighed at the question and shrugged. "It was alright. My parents are still not comfortable around me since I came out to them. So things were tense. But it was fine." He turned to Dean, giving him a warm smile. "Hello, Dean."

"Heya, Cas," Dean said, smiling a little nervously. He knew that as soon as they dropped Sam off at Jessica's house, Cas was gonna ask about his dad. And Dean was not really looking forward to that. 

Castiel raised an eyebrow at Dean, "What? Do I not get a kiss or anything?" 

Dean rolled his eyes and leaned in to peck Cas on the lips. "There. Happy?" The two had become almost disgustingly close to each other recently. Dean couldn't get enough of Cas, and Cas felt the same way about Dean.

Sam made a gagging sound in the back seat and pulled a face. "Gross," he muttered.

"Get used to it," Dean laughed, reaching behind him to slap Sam's cheek before sitting back in his seat and sighing softly. 

***

Several minutes later, after Sam had been dropped off at Jessica's house, Cas and Dean were sitting on the black couch studying. Well, they were supposed to be studying but more talking than studying was going on, that's for sure.

"So your dad really hasn't been answering any of your calls?" Castiel asked, petting Dean's hair where his head was resting in Cas' lap. 

Dean shook his head and sighed heavily, closing his eyes and focusing on the feeling of Castiel's fingers running through his hair. "Nope. He hasn't answered my calls, my emails, my texts...anything. I have no clue where he is or what the hell he's doing." 

"Are you worried?" Castiel asked softly.

Dean scoffed at that. "Worried? No. Dad can take care of himself." That wasn't entirely true. Dean couldn't help but feel a gnawing in the pit of his stomach. A feeling that told him that something was wrong. He chose to ignore it.

"Hm," Castiel hummed, lightly scratching at Dean's scalp with the pads of his fingers. "Have you tried calling Bobby?"

Dean sighed again, that gnawing feeling returning. "Of course. He said he didn't know, and then he said that he'd been thinking about making me and Sammy go live with him. Says Dad's too...unstable."

Castiel raised his eyebrows at that. "That's not a bad idea."

"Yes it is," Dean said defensively, sitting up and looking Cas in the eye. "It is. Dad will be back. Everyone's making this into such a big deal." He huffed, folding his arms over his chest. 

"Okay, okay, I didn't mean to upset you." Castiel spoke carefully, almost as if he were talking to a frightened animal.

Dean furrowed his brow, looking at Cas for a moment before sighing for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. "I'm not upset. Just stressed. I have no money, literally - none. I can't drive my car, I can't buy food, I can't even get Sammy a goddamn haircut," Dean said, feeling a lump build in his throat. He quickly swallowed it back down, not wanting to feel sorry for himself. "So I think I'm gonna get a job." 

Castiel looked a bit surprised, and he placed a hand on Dean's arm, rubbing it gently. "Dean, I could always loan you money. You and Sam could even live here for a while. Or, you could take Bobby up on his offer..."

"No. Bobby lives really far away. I'm not - just no." If Dean and Sam went to go live with Bobby, that meant that they'd have to switch schools. And Dean would be over an hour away from Cas, and that was not happening. "And I'm not taking your money. I already owe you a lot for tutoring, so I'm not taking any more."

Castiel sighed at that and smiled at Dean, gently grabbing his hand and stroking the back of it with his thumb. "Don't worry about that. Please. You don't need to pay me for tutoring anymore."

Dean opened his mouth to protest, but Castiel pressed a finger to Dean's lips, forcing him not to speak. "Nope, I don't wanna hear it," Cas said, removing his finger and raising his eyebrows at Dean.

Dean thought about that for a moment before shrugging. "Fine. But I'm gonna pay you back one day."

Castiel rolled his eyes at that and stood up, going to the kitchen and getting their mugs of tea which had been steeping on the counter. He handed one of the mugs to Dean before sitting down and sipping his own. 

"Here," Cas said, setting his drink down and pulling out his wallet. He pulled out two one hundred dollar bills and handed them both to Dean. "This should be enough to get Sam a haircut, get some gas money for your car, and buy some food for the week."

"Cas, I...you don't have to - "

Castiel shook his head and sighed heavily. "It's the least I can do. You and Sam's situation makes me very uneasy. I don't like that you two live alone. And since you refuse to move in with Bobby, this is what I'm doing. It will give me some peace of mind," Castiel said, blushing slightly.

"Okay," Dean muttered, shoving the money in his pocket and blushing deeply as well. He hated this. Hated how weak he felt. 

Cas could obviously tell that Dean was distraught about his situation, so he leaned in and wrapped his arms around the boy, holding him close. "Breathe. Everything will be okay." 

"I know," Dean sniffed, breathing heavily and pressing himself against Cas. He refused to cry though. Not over this.

***

Cas and Dean pulled up outside of Jessica's house, and Cas honked a few times to let Sam know they were here. 

About ten minutes later, Sam came outside, cheeks red and hair ruffled. He got into the backseat of the car, a smile on his face. 

Dean arched an eyebrow and turned around to look at his brother, a small smirk playing on his lips. "What took you so long?"

Sam shrugged and cleared his throat, running his fingers through his hair. "Nothing."

"Mhm. Nothing, huh," Dean repeated, reaching back and smacking Sam playfully on the head. "Contrary to popular belief, I'm not dumb, Sammy. You and Jess had some fun, didn't you?" He asked, waggling his eyebrows.

Castiel laughed loudly from the front seat and rolled his eyes, placing a hand on Dean's shoulder. "Don't tease him."

Sam's face was as red as a fire truck by this point, and he shook his head several times. "No! Nothing happened like that! We just kissed a little. That's it."

"Whatever you say, Sammy," Dean said with a wink, turning back around as Cas began to drive. He knew Sam was probably telling the truth. He was only thirteen, after all. But hey, he was a big brother. Big brothers were supposed to make fun of their baby brothers. It was a rule.

"We're stopping at the barber shop," Castiel said as he drove, turning around to glance at Sam for a moment before looking back at the road. "Dean told me that you've been wanting a haircut."

"Well, yeah, but I thought we didn't have the money..." Sam said, furrowing his brow in confusion and looking at Dean.

Dean cleared his throat and tried to smile. "We do now."

Sam still looked confused, but he smiled anyway, shrugging. "Cool."

***

When they reached the barber shop, Sam walked right inside and sat down in one of the chairs, already talking to the hairdresser and requesting the kind of style he wanted.

Dean chuckled as he watched Sam, sitting in one of the chairs with Cas. "Kid takes his hair way too seriously. He won't even let me cut it." 

Castiel shook his head in amusement, smiling and turning to look at Dean. "He looks happy. See? I told you everything was going to be fine."

***

Cas was wrong. 

A few hours later, as they made their way back home, Dean noticed something that made all the color drain from his face. There were two police cars parked in front of their house. His heart began to beat at an alarming rate and he felt like everything was crumbling around him.

"What's going on...?" Castiel asked, his voice filled with concern as he parked the car and stepped out. 

Dean followed close behind, holding a hand out to Sam, instructing him to stay put.

"Excuse me, officer," Castiel asked, brow furrowed as he walked up to a policewoman who was muttering something into a walkie talkie. "Can you explain what's happening?" he asked calmly. Dean couldn't help but admire the composure in Castiel's voice, because he knew that if he tried to talk right now, it would be much, much worse.

The police officer turned to look at Cas and Dean before pointing at the Impala, which was parked in the driveway. "That car was spotted near a store at the same time the store was robbed. Are you the owner of that car?" She asked seriously, looking at Cas.

Dean glanced over at Castiel, and he could see the confusion on the man's face. "No...I - are you sure you have the right car?" Castiel asked with a frown, glancing over at Dean.

"Same model," the officer said, turning to look at Dean next. "Do you know whose car that is?" 

Dean swallowed hard and debated on what to say next. He could say that it wasn't his car, but he felt somehow that that would just backfire and make things so much worse. And just because it was his car didn't prove that he was the one who robbed the store, right? So it would be fine. He could tell the truth and it would be fine. "It's mine," he said, his voice coming out calmer than he'd expected it to. 

Before he knew it, Dean was turned around and handcuffs were being clipped around his wrists. The police officer was giving some spiel about taking him in 'for further questioning,' and Cas was talking to the officer frantically, trying to figure out what was going on, but Dean couldn't hear them over the pounding in his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter to hold you over until the next one. And guess what? I have a beta now!!! It's so exciting! You all should go read her fics, because they're awesome. Her username on here is superchester.
> 
> Oh, and I'm going to be putting my fics on wattpad now as well as here. My username on there is Cas_Dean_and_Sammy.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Comments and kudos are appreciated.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well everyone, I can see an end to this fic. There will be a few more chapters, but then we will have to say goodbye. It's bittersweet.
> 
> Also, I realized that I kinda messed up Sam and Dean's ages. I have them three years apart in this fic, but in the show, there's a four year difference. It's not that big of a deal, so I'm not going to change it, but I thought I'd mention it in case anyone was confused.
> 
> One last thing. Please please please pardon my lack of legal knowledge in this chapter. I know next to nothing about that stuff, so I tried my best. Forgive me, and remember that this is a fiction story.
> 
> Hope you all like the update! :)

Dean kept his head down in the police car, not  wanting to see the disappointed expression that he was sure was on Castiel's face. However, not looking up didn't block out his ability to hear. And Cas was giving that officer an earful.

"Excuse me? You cannot just do this without giving me some sort of explanation!" Cas shouted, and Dean could hear the anger in his voice. He could hear anger, confusion, and worry in Castiel's voice, and Dean felt his stomach lurch. He was going to be sick. 

"Are you his legal guardian?" The officer asked calmly, with an air of nonchalance in her voice.

"Well, no, but I - " Castiel started before the officer cut him off mid-sentence. 

"Where is his legal guardian?" The officer asked next, and Dean felt his stomach lurch again. Oh no. Oh god, no.

Dean heard Castiel pause, and a moment of awkward silence went by before he spoke again. "Uh, I'm not sure. At work, probably. He's probably at work."

Upon hearing that, Dean couldn't help but roll his eyes. Cas was the worst liar. 

A few more words were exchanged between the two of them, but Dean had kinda zoned out. This was just too much. He wished he could go back in time and just not steal from the goddamn store. He felt sick, his heart was pounding against his chest, he had a headache, and he felt cold all over. 

A little bit more time passed before the officer finally got in the car and began driving. She said a few things to Dean, but he wasn't paying attention anyway. Dean looked up and glanced out of the window as the car began to drive off, and the last thing he saw was Castiel's worried expression before closed his eyes and tried to imagine he was somewhere else. 

***

Once they reached the station, a few things happened. First, Dean was given a pat-down. They took away both his pocketknives. Not fun. Then, they took his mugshot. Also not fun. And then, just when Dean thought it couldn't get any worse, he was told that he would have to be detained for twenty-four to forty-eight hours. Not. Fun. 

"Here you are," the officer said, unclipping Dean's handcuffs before shoving him into a cell and quickly locking the door like she thought Dean was going to make a run for it. 

"Well...look what we've got here," A voice said. A voice that made Dean want to throw up. He'd been put into a group cell. 

Dean turned around and swallowed hard, trying to seem confident and intimidating. He looked at the man who'd just spoken up. He was a big guy who looked mixed. He had his long, wavy hair slicked back into a greasy ponytail, and his beard continued all the way down to his neck.

"Leave the kid alone," another voice said. A friendlier voice. Dean didn't even bother to look at the person who'd said it. He was too scared. Dean always prided himself on being strong and sure of himself. But now, surrounded by all of these creepy men who'd probably committed worse crimes that his own, he felt small. Small, scared, and helpless. 

"He's got a nice little body, eh?" a third voice said, and Dean felt chills run down his spine. "What's your name, baby?"

Dean's breathing picked up and he turned around, gripping the bars of the cell tightly and peering out, hoping the guard didn't look away for even a second. "Oh god, oh my god," he muttered to himself. He wished he still had his pocketknife with him.

"Cut it out y'all. Yer scarin' him," a man with a thick southern accent said, amusement in his voice. There was a pause before he spoke again. "What're you in here for, mm? Look too innocent to be doin' nothing that bad."

"Please just...stop talking to me," Dean said, his voice shaky and his heart pounding. He just really, really, really hoped that he could get out of there, and soon. He'd seen shows where guys were put into group holding cells together, and it never ended well. 

"Why should we? Most of us have been in here for over a day now. You're new and interesting. We're not gonna try nothing, we're just tryna have some fun with the newbie," Greasy Ponytail said, the rest of the guys agreeing.

Dean rested his forehead against the bars and closed his eyes, breathing heavily. Oh, what he would give to see Cas or Sam's face right now. 

He ended up seeing a face he recognized, and though he wasn't thrilled to see it, he was pretty relieved when he heard what the person had to say. It was the officer who had driven Dean there. "C'mon," she said, opening the cell and pulling Dean out. She cuffed his wrists together almost immediately, and as she led Dean away, he had a surge of impulsivity and he flipped the guys in the cell off. 

***

"First of all, Dean, I'm sheriff Jody Mills," the lady cop said. Ah, so she was a sheriff. Not an officer. Dean wasn't quite sure what the difference was (if there even was one) but it still felt like good information to know. Sheriff Jody Mills. "I'm just gonna ask you a few questions, is that alright?"

Dean sighed softly and fidgeted a little in his chair, his handcuffs attached to the arm of the chair and making him a little uncomfortable. "Well, I know you're gonna ask them whether I say yes or no, so sure."

Jody raised her eyebrows at Dean. "Let's try to keep the sarcastic comments to a minimum," she said before turning to her computer and typing in a few things. "Dean Winchester," she began to read, "Sixteen years old. Male. Thirteen year old brother named Sam Winchester. Mother, Mary Campbell died in a fire when Dean was four..." she paused at that, glancing up at Dean for a moment. "I'm sorry about that. Must've been hard for you growing up without a mom."

Dean looked away and slouched in his seat, frowning slightly. He didn't like talking about his mom, and he also didn't like how all of his information was so accessible. "It's fine," he muttered.

Jody continued to read Dean's records, and once she was done, she turned away from the computer and back to Dean. "Do you have any idea where your father is right now?" she asked suddenly, and Dean felt all the color drain from his face. 

"He's at work," Dean replied, the calmness of his voice contrasting his nervous features. 

"Mhm. Well, we called his personal number first and we didn't get an answer. Then, we called his place of work, and his employer said that John hadn't been at work for a while. Did you know anything about that?"

Dean shook his head, lying blatantly. He kept his eyes glued on the wall as his heart pounded in his chest. This was bad. Really, really bad. 

"We also spoke to a few of John's friends and neighbors, and they told us that his car hasn't been at the house for about the same amount of time. Which leads us to my next question. Mr. Winchester, look at me. I need you to give me a completely honest answer. Providing the police with false information is something we don't take lightly here. Now, when was the last time your father was home?"

The question caught Dean completely off guard, and he froze, his hands clenching into fists where they were confined by the cuffs. He was suddenly faced with a decision which seemed like it could mean life or death for him. If he gave up that his father had been missing, Social Services would be sent to look into it, and that would just make this whole mess even messier. But Dean had a feeling that the police already knew just how long John had been missing, and they were just asking Dean this question as a verification of sorts. Also, Dean felt like he was in enough trouble already. He didn't need to add 'lying to the police' to the list. So he took a deep breath and swallowed hard, closing his eyes for a moment. "About a week and a half, maybe two weeks," he replied, opening his eyes again.

"Okay," Jody said, her voice a bit softer now. "And is the first time he's disappeared like this?"

"No," Dean said, clearing his throat and staring down into his lap. "This isn't an uncommon thing."

Jody scribbled something down on her little yellow notepad, nodding before looking back up at Dean. "And who takes care of you and Sam when your dad's not there?"

"I do," Dean answered, his breathing heavy and his stomach flipping. 

Jody stared at Dean for a moment, her expression unreadable before writing something else down and looking back up. "Has your father ever abused you, physically, mentally, or sexually?"

Dean furrowed his brow at that, offended that she would even ask a question like that. "What? No, of course not! My dad's not a bad guy."

Jody nodded absentmindedly, writing on her paper before capping her pen and setting it aside. "Dean, you're a very independent young man, so I'm going to be honest with you. What we're looking at here is a case of neglect, in the form of child abandonment. When we find your father, he will most likely be doing time for his actions."

"What?" Dean nearly shouted. He tried to stand up, but he was pulled back down into his chair by the handcuffs. "B-but that's not true! It's not fucking child abandonment! He always comes back!"

"Has he contacted you in any way, shape or form? Has he sent money or given you and your brother some way to provide for yourselves while he's gone?" When Dean hesitated, she pursed her lips. "Then it's considered child abandonment." 

Dean couldn't hold it back anymore. The floodgates were opened and his tears began flowing out, accompanied by a runny nose and gross sobbing. His cheeks were itching because Dean couldn't use his hands to wipe his tears away, and that was just making him feel worse. He was such a baby. Dean was usually able to keep his cool when he cried. His tears flowed silently and in an almost pretty sort of way. But now, he had no way of controlling the rush of emotions he was feeling at that moment. He felt as if his life was falling apart right before his eyes.  

Jody just let him cry, which Dean was very, very thankful for. The last thing he needed was someone telling him that everything would be okay. Because that was a lie. A fucking lie. 

After a few moments, she spoke up again and Dean looked at her through his red, puffy eyes. "Dean, I know how you feel. I know that may sound dumb coming from an old lady like me, but just listen. I went through something similar when I was around your age. I used to rob little things from stores often just to provide for the family. My mom was very sick and my dad worked out of town, and so most of the responsibility was put onto my shoulders. Now, I don't really know why you robbed that store, but if it's for a reason similar to mine, we can contact the owners and ask them not to press charges. You may still have to perform community service and pay for the broken alarm system, but that's not bad at all." She paused a moment. "So I have two questions now. Did you rob the store, and why?"

Dean took a few deep breaths to compose himself before glancing up at the sheriff. "Yes. It was Christmas, I didn't have any money, and I wanted to get Sam something nice. That's it."

"Is that the truth?" Jody asked, her pen moving rapidly on the paper. 

"Yes ma'am, it is," Dean said, sniffling and wiping his nose off on his shoulder.

"Okay," Jody said, writing one final thing down on her notepad before standing up and walking over to Dean so she could remove his cuffs from the chair and pull him up to a standing position. 

Before they left the room, Dean stopped walking and swallowed hard, chewing on his bottom lip. "What's gonna happen to me and Sam?"

Jody didn't answer for a moment, as if she was expecting Dean to ask that, and now she was figuring out how to reply. "Assuming that your father wants to take this to court, whether he continues to have custody of you two is up to them. If he doesn't want to take this to court, then Social Services will probably conduct their own investigation, and they'll figure out who you'll be staying with." 

"But we'll be staying with someone we know, right? Like a family friend or something," Dean asked nervously. He'd seen too many movies where the kids are put into foster care and end up getting split up. And okay, maybe that was a little far-fetched, but Dean was terrified.

Jody nodded. "Most likely, yes."

Dean sighed in relief and followed Jody back to the group cell where those sleazy guys seemed to be waiting for him. Once the cell door was locked, Dean sighed again and pressed his face against the bars, watching Jody walk off. 

"Well, look who's back. Your eyes are a lil' red, sweetheart. Did things get tough in there?" One of the voices asked, and Dean rolled his eyes.

"Fuck off," Dean said as confidently as he could, turning around and giving the men the best glare he could. He was so tired of their bullshit, and he just wanted to be left alone. "I know you aren't gonna do anything to me. I'm not afraid of you. There's a guard right over there, and I'm pretty damn sure that none of you want to be in here any longer than you have to." He huffed and turned back around, pressing his face between the bars again.

He heard a little mumbling from the guys, but he just ignored them. Dean had bigger things to worry about. 

***

Several more hours passed before Castiel and Sam finally, /finally/ showed up. Dean had no idea what day it was, what time it was, or anything like that. The guys in the cell had left him alone for the most part, aside from a few snide comments that didn't really bother Dean anyway. A few hours prior, Dean had gotten his first meal since being there. Rice krispies in one of those little boxes, and a separate carton of milk. At first Dean was confused about how he was supposed to eat it with no bowl or a spoon, but then he saw how the other guys were doing it. Dean copied their actions, pouring some of the cereal into his mouth and then having a sip of milk. It wasn't efficient, but Dean was hungry, so it was satisfying enough. 

"Dean, you've got some visitors," Jody said, opening the cell again and taking Dean by the arm to pull him out. He was handcuffed immediately after getting out, but he couldn't even bring himself to care. He was too excited to see Sam and Cas.

Jody led him into another room, where Cas and Sam were waiting. They both were wearing the same clothes they had on the last time Dean saw them, and they looked tired and worn-out. 

"Dean," Sam said, standing up as soon as he saw Dean enter. He walked over to his brother and wrapped his arms around him, pressing his face into Dean's shoulder and not letting go. Dean wished he could hug back, but his hands were secured behind his back, so all he could do was stand there and feel his eyes get all watery. 

"Heya Sammy," Dean said, smiling a little and swallowing hard. 

After Sam let go, Castiel stood up, and Dean got ready for a kiss and a loving hug. But all he got was a small little squeeze and a small smile. Dean frowned at that. He didn't know if Cas was mad at him or what, but right now, what he wanted more than anything was affection, and Cas just wasn't giving him that.

"So this is Sam," Jody said after the hugging was over. She gestured to the smaller Winchester and raised her eyebrows at Dean. 

Dean nodded at that, glancing at Sam. "Yeah." 

"And who's this, then?" Jody asked next, gesturing to Cas.

"He's my b- " Dean started, but he was quickly interrupted by Castiel. 

"I'm a family friend," Cas said, giving the sheriff a polite smile. 

Dean's eyes widened and he tried not to display his horror at the words which had just left Castiel's mouth. A family friend. A family friend? Did Cas just indirectly break up with him? Dean's mouth felt dry.

"Castiel Novak, nice to meet you," Cas said, sticking his hand out and shaking Jody's. "Sam's been staying with me while Dean's been here." 

Jody nodded at that and smiled a little, shaking Castiel's hand in return before she headed towards the door. "I'll let you three catch up. Dean, you have twenty minutes."

Dean nodded and watched as Jody left the room, waiting for the 'click' the door made when it closed before he turned to Cas. "Is there something you wanna tell me?" he asked, his voice sounding much angrier than he'd intended it to. 

Castiel didn't even reply, just grabbed Dean's face and leaned in, kissing him deeply and passionately. Dean had no choice but to kiss back, and even if he did have a choice, he would've kissed back anyway. 

"Gross," Sam muttered, looking away.

About a minute later, Castiel pulled away, and Dean stared at him, his green eyes wide and his cheeks flushed. "Now I'm just confused," Dean said.

"I'll explain. Sit down," Castiel said, sitting down in one of the chairs and gesturing for Dean to do the same. 

Once Dean was seated, Cas began speaking. "The officers explained everything to us. And before you ask - no, I'm not mad at you. At all. And I don't want you to be mad at yourself either."

Dean sighed heavily. "Well you can't expect me to be happy with myself," he muttered. "My family is gonna fall apart and it'll all be my fault."

Castiel shook his head adamantly at that. "No. Your family isn't falling apart. Sure, maybe you shouldn't have stolen from that store, but I think there's a silver lining to all of this, even if you can't see it."

Dean snorted at that. "What is it?"

"They're going to find your dad, and he's going to get help."

"Right," Dean said, nodding a few times and taking a deep breath. "You're right. But who are Sam and I gonna live with? I love Bobby, but he lives so far away...I don't want my life to change more than it has to." 

"You're going to live with me," Castiel said firmly, holding a hand out to stop Dean from saying anything. "That's why I didn't say I was your boyfriend earlier. I don't think I can be your legal guardian if I'm also your boyfriend," Castiel said, furrowing his brow for a moment. "At least, that's what Wikipedia said."

"Wikipedia isn't always right, y'know," Sam said.

"I didn't want to take any chances," Castiel said before looking at Dean and raising his eyebrows. "See? Everything's gonna work out."

"If you say so," Dean said, trying to smile. He wished he was as optimistic as Cas, and he wished he could see the silver lining to all this, but it was hard when all he could think about was how their family was now going to be even more broken.


	31. Chapter 31

The next few days were...interesting, to say the least. Not bad, but not good either. Once the owners of the store found out about Dean's situation, they decided not to press charges, which was a huge relief. So, for the time being, Sam and Dean were staying with Castiel, and Jody was coming by each day to check on them.

Dean had been a little bit distant since his arrest. He felt like he'd let everyone down, and it was not a good feeling. He hadn't been eating as much, he was quieter than usual, and he spent most of his time locked up in the guest room of Castiel's apartment. 

"Dean?" Castiel asked, knocking on the door of the guest room. "Dean, I have some breakfast for you. You have to eat. Come on, for me." 

Dean sighed heavily and laid there for a moment before dragging himself out of bed and over to the door. He felt terrible, and he knew he looked bad too. When he walked, it felt like all of his limbs turned into fifty pound weights. It took such an effort just to lug himself around. "Hey," he said as he opened the door, his voice raspy from lack of use.

"Hello," Castiel said, giving Dean a small, sad smile and looking him up and down. "How are you feeling?" he asked, carrying the tray of food into the room and setting it down on the bedside table.

Dean inhaled deeply and with great effort before following Cas to the bed and flopping down on it. "Tired," he muttered. And fuck, he was. So, so tired. Tired of everything. Dean let out a shaky sigh and placed his face in his hands, his elbows resting on his thighs.

Cas frowned a little and sat down beside Dean on the bed, his blue eyes wide and searching. "I know, Dean. But I promise, I /promise/ you that everything will be okay." He wrapped an arm lightly around Dean and let the boy rest his head on Castiel's shoulder. The two of them stayed like that for a few moments, pressed together and listening to each other's breathing. 

"Hey," Castiel spoke up after a while, his voice soft. "I need you to eat something. You didn't have lunch or dinner yesterday, and I know you're in a bad place right now, but you still need to take care of yourself," he said, his voice a bit sterner than before. He grabbed the tray and placed it on Dean's lap, raising his eyebrows at the other boy. It was a simple dish, just a toasted bagel with a bit of butter spread on it, as well as a tall glass of orange juice.

Dean lifted his head off of Castiel's lap and looked at the food, his eyelids heavy. "Alright," he said, picking up one half of the bagel and bringing it up to his lips.

Castiel smiled a little at that, his arm still wrapped low around Dean's waist. "Sam's at Jessica's house. She's all he ever talks about," he chuckled, rubbing Dean's back softly.

Dean snorted and rolled his eyes, giving Cas a little half-smile. "I know. Trust me, I know." Dean hadn't talked to Sam much since he got back. He knew Sam wasn't mad at him, but Dean was mad at himself, and he felt awful for doing this to his little brother. Sam couldn't be happy about all the stress they were going through right now, and it was all Dean's fault. 

***

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang, and Castiel stood up, running his fingers through his dark hair. "Jody must be here." He extended a hand out to Dean to help him up. 

The two of them walked out to meet Jody, Dean still taking small bites of his bagel every few seconds. Dean enjoyed the stability of living with Cas. He didn't have to worry about putting food on the table or finding the money to give Sam so he could take Jess to the movies. It was nice and refreshing, and even though Dean felt like a burden on Cas, it wasn't like he could just leave. And Cas insisted that it was fine. So it was.

"Hey boys," Jody said once Castiel opened the door for her. She was decked out in her usual uniform, her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail and her gun clipped onto her belt. "I have news." 

Dean perked up at that, his eyebrows lifting slightly. "What is it?"

Jody stepped into the house, closing the door. She took a deep breath before looking up at Dean. "We found your dad." 

***

Dean couldn't even speak. He didn't trust himself enough to filter the words that would come out. They were pulling up to the station now, and Dean's heart wouldn't stop pounding. They'd picked up Sam on the way there, and judging by his sullen disposition and the way his fists were clenched together tightly, Dean could assume that he had a few choice words to say to his father as well.

"Here we are," Jody announced once she'd parked the car, getting out and stepping around to open the door for Sam. 

"So, do you know where he was?" Castiel asked as he got out of the car. He was the only one who was staying calm. 

Jody sighed heavily and locked the car once everyone was out. She began to walk up to the door, holding it open for the three boys as they walked inside. "Well, we found him about fifteen miles from here, staying in some grungy motel. He didn't seem too surprised to see us though, and he didn't fight back when we told him where he was going." She shrugged a little and nodded at the man sitting behind the desk, letting him know that Sam, Dean, and Cas were with her.

Dean didn't say a word. He could barely even breathe properly. His face was red, his jaw was tight, and his fists were clenched, because it had finally hit him. This wasn't his fault. /None/ of this was his fault. It was John's. Everything that'd happened in these last few weeks could all be traced back to John. And Dean was so done. Done giving him second chances, done being forgiving, and done trying to be the good son. John obviously didn't care about any of that, so why should Dean? He was done putting his ass on the line just to cover up for his deadbeat dad. And he was gonna tell him that. 

All of those thoughts went down the drain when Jody led them to the room where John was and opened the door. "Dad," Dean whispered, already feeling his eyes start to water. So much for coming in here, guns blazing and all. 

Dean was still mad. He really was. But his dad just looked so...ruined. John's face was impossible to describe. He looked like all the happiness, all the light had been sucked out of him. What was sitting in front of them was not John Winchester, but an empty shell. 

Sam on the other hand had no problem marching right up to John and giving him the scariest glare he could. He didn't even say anything, just stood in front of his dad, chest heaving. But if looks could kill, John would be long gone. 

"I'm going to step out. But I will be watching," Jody said, raising her eyebrows at John and gesturing to the glass window which she would be watching through. She didn't watch when Dean, Sam, and Cas were reunited, so she must not have trusted John very much. 

Castiel nodded and followed Jody to the door. "I'll be out here as well," he said, locking eyes with Dean for a moment before leaving the room and closing the door. 

There was a moment of silence, and Dean could feel his heart pounding. He was standing in the corner of the room, a safe distance away from his father and Sam. His green eyes were wide, and he felt frozen. Like there was nothing he could do but just stand there.

"Sammy," John said after a moment, looking up at his youngest son.

Sam seemed to be searching for the right words to say, and all Dean could do was watch. When Sam finally did find the words, Dean wished that he would take them back. The words weren't even directed towards him, and somehow, Dean still felt crushed by them.

"I hate you," Sam said with pure and utter disgust in his voice. And when Dean looked at Sam's expression, at those hazel eyes, he saw that it was true. There was no love there. None. And Dean wanted to speak up and say something, but he just couldn't. He was frozen. 

John took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment before responding. "Sam, I - "

"No, you don't get to talk. You've ruined my life, I hope you know that. Is it really that hard to take care of your kids? Do you really despise us that much that you have to leave for weeks at a time?"

John took another deep breath before looking up at Sam again. "Son, me leaving had nothing to do with you or Dean. I just needed to take a break - "

"Yeah. Whatever," Sam said, folding his arms over his chest.

"Sam," John said, standing up. Sam was tall for his age, but he still wasn't as tall as John, who towered over him threateningly. "I told you, I needed a break."

"Hey," Dean said, finally able to move. John's hands were cuffed behind his back, but Dean didn't like the way he was standing over Sam. "Hey," he repeated calmly, walking over to the two of them and pushing them apart a little. "Dad, you were wrong," Dean said, turning to look at his dad, but still keeping a protective hand on Sam's shoulder. "The least you could do is apologize. And I mean the /least/. What you really should be doing is getting down on your fucking knees and begging for our forgiveness, because you've blown it now. You've really blown it, and now you're not gonna be allowed to live with us anymore," Dean said, a few silent tears escaping his eyes as he said the last part.

John finally crumbled. He sat back down in his chair and began to cry, his face red and his eyes wet. 

Sam and Dean almost never saw their dad cry, so they just stood there uncomfortably as he sobbed. 

"Um..." Sam muttered. 

Dean was torn between consoling his dad, yelling at him some more, or just letting him cry. He rubbed his hands together nervously and glanced at Sam, not really sure what to do.

John sniffled before looking up at his sons again. "Maybe that's a good thing. You boys deserve someone who can actually provide for you. I...I just can't do that." 

Dean bit down on his bottom lip, still rubbing his hands together, unsure of what to say. "That's alright, Dad," he said, gritting his teeth because it wasn't alright, and he knew it wasn't. He was ready to leave. He looked up at Jody, who was watching through the window, and he gave her a subtle gesture that said he was done. 

Seconds later, Jody was in the room. "Alright boys, time to go. Mr. Winchester," she said, speaking to John. " Officer Mike will be here in a moment to take you back to your cell. Stay put." 

"Wait," John said as the boys as they began to head towards the door. "When can I see them again?" 

Jody stopped walking and turned around, sighing softly before she responded. "Um...I can probably arrange for them to visit you a couple times each month. You can also call them," she said professionally before leading the boys out and closing the door.

As soon as they were out, Sam turned to Jody, his eyes wide. "How long is he gonna be locked up?" 

"Well, he's still awaiting his trial, but anything that has to do with child abuse, abandonment, etc, is always a sore subject, so I doubt they'll go too easy on him," Jody said, rubbing a hand against her forehead. "But neither of you were significantly hurt, so that will definitely be a factor..." She hummed to herself, thinking. "My guess is around two to two and a half years."

***

Jody was right. A few days later, after John's trial, he was sentenced to two years in prison. The judge said that John was lucky that neither of his children had been injured, because that would've meant several more years.

***

"Alright Mr. Novak, just sign here, and you'll be the boys' legal guardian," a worker said, handing Cas a pen and showing him where to sign.

"Okay," Castiel said, not hesitating a moment before signing his name and handing the paper and the pen back to the worker.

***

"Oh god. I can't believe I just did that," Castiel said on the drive back home.

"Why?" Dean asked, furrowing his brow slightly. "You're not regretting it already, are you?"

Castiel shook his head quickly, glancing over at Dean in the passenger seat. "No. Not at all. It's just that...several months ago - before I met you - if someone told me that I would be the guardian for two kids about a week after the new year started, I would've laughed at them. It's just crazy how much you've changed me, Dean," Cas said, glancing over at Dean again and giving him a small smile.

Dean smiled back. He'd been doing a lot better lately. He was finally starting to realize that the circumstances were not his fault, and that everything would be okay. "Well, I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me and Sammy these past few months. I don't know where we would be right now if it wasn't for you. You...you're a real angel, Cas," Dean said, swallowing hard.

Castiel blushed deeply and shook his head, glancing at Sam in the rearview mirror. He was asleep in the backseat, his head resting against the window and his breath fogging up the glass. "Uh, I've been meaning to tell you something." He swallowed hard as he pulled into the parking lot of his apartment complex. "I'm switching majors. I'm majoring in creative writing and education. Y-You've taught me that I have to live my life for me. Not for my parents or anyone else. So, thank you," he said, parking the car and looking over at Dean, his eyes watering as he parked the car.

"Oh my god, Cas, that's amazing!" Dean said, reaching over and pulling Castiel into a tight hug and feeling his own eyes start to get a little wet. "That's amazing. You're amazing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for 500 freakin kudos!!
> 
> I'm finally done with school so there will be no more late updates or anything of that sort. Yay!
> 
> So I'm thinking that I'll do one more chapter and then maybe an epilogue. Thoughts?


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter. Oh my god. I can't believe this.
> 
> I just want to thank you all for sticking with this story. I hope it was worth it.
> 
> There will be another chapter (an epilogue) but I'm gonna keep that short and sweet, so this is the last legit chapter. 
> 
> Please enjoy, and again - THANK YOU.

Saturday, January 24th. Dean's birthday. He was seventeen years old, and if it wasn't for the loud, 'Happy Birthday!' that was yelled at him by Cas and Sam as soon as he woke up, he probably wouldn't have remembered.

Birthdays had just never been a big deal at the Winchester household. There were never any parties, or presents, or nice dinners. It was just a regular day. But now that they were living with Cas, Dean's birthday already felt about a thousand times more special. Cas made pancakes for breakfast, and he stuck a candle in the middle of Dean's. He let Dean put as much whipped cream as he wanted on his pancakes, and he didn't tell him to stop, not even when Dean started squirting it in his mouth. He let Dean play his music as loud as he wished, he took out the trash (which was usually Dean's job), and he even baked a small batch of cupcakes. So basically, this birthday had already been more amazing than every birthday Dean had had since he was four years old. And it was only mid-afternoon.

Although Sam and Dean had been living with Cas for a few weeks now, they were still in the process of moving all their stuff to Cas's apartment. It was a pretty big change, moving from a two-story home to a two-bedroom apartment, but they managed. Sam and Dean shared the guest bedroom (except on the nights when Dean slept in Cas's room), and even though the three of them were kinda crowded, Dean was still far more comfortable there than he'd ever been at home. Well, at his old home.

Currently, Dean was driving back to the old house to get his last few belongings and bring them to the apartment. They'd moved all of the big things already, so Dean was just getting stuff like posters, pictures, and other knickknacks like that.

Dean sighed as he pulled up in the driveway, looking at the old place. Moving was a little bittersweet, considering that he'd lived in this home for most of his life, but he knew it was for the best, and he was so much happier living with Cas.

When Dean walked inside, he took a moment to just look around. It didn't look that different because they hadn't taken most of the furniture, but somehow, it just /felt/ empty. It was a bit unsettling, and Dean didn't like spending too much time there. He quickly made his way upstairs to his old bedroom so he could begin gathering what he needed to get.

Cas had told Sam and Dean that since the apartment was their home now too, they should feel free to hang up pictures of their own family. Although most of them were old, worn, and faded, Dean did have a few pictures that he wanted to bring over.

When Dean reached his bedroom, he walked inside and went over to his bedside table, (which was now pointless since they'd moved his bed to the apartment), and opened up the first drawer. He rummaged through some of the junk before he finally found what he was looking for. There were three pictures that Dean had saved. One was of his whole family, back when Sam was a baby and before his mom passed. Dean smiled a little as he looked at that one. Everyone just seemed so...happy. So carefree. Even Dad was smiling widely. Dean tucked that picture into his pocket before grabbing the other two - both of which were pictures of himself and Sam.

One was taken when Sam was still an infant. Dean was holding him for the first time with a look of pure terror on his face, as Sam was wailing uncontrollably. It was crazy how vividly Dean remembered that moment. He was worried that little Sam hated him already.

The final picture was of him and Sam just a couple years back. It was a simple picture, just Dean with his arm wrapped tightly around his little brother, both of them smiling for the camera. But as simple as it was, it warmed Dean's heart. He decided that they needed to take more pictures.

***

The ride back home was quiet. Dean had the radio on, but he kept the volume on low, because it was easier to think that way. He was thinking about what an amazing guy Cas was.

Cas wasn't exactly cold towards Dean when they first met, but he was very professional. For the first several sessions, he treated Dean as a student and nothing more. It was almost surreal to see how much things could change in just a few months. Castiel was a freakin' savior. He'd helped Sam and Dean so much, and Dean hated that he'd never be able to show how grateful he was for all of Castiel's love and generosity. Hell, he was a young college student, and instead of living it up like most people his age, he was looking after two kids. He was great. A really, really great guy.

***

Dean hummed to himself as he headed up to Castiel's apartment, the pictures tucked safely into his pocket. He used his new key to unlock the door, and his heart skipped a beat when he pushed it open.

"Happy Birthday Dean!" Everyone yelled, blowing on kazoos and noisemakers as he walked in. And by everyone, I mean /everyone/. Dean saw Charlie, Benny, Dorothy, Andrea, Gabriel, Ellen, Jo, Bobby, and of course Sam and Cas. Dean knew it had to be some kind of fire hazard to have so many people in one apartment, but he didn't really care. There were balloons bouncing on the ceiling and streamers hanging on the walls, and even a stack of presents in the corner of the living room.

Dean's cheeks flushed red and he stopped in his tracks, his green eyes widening slightly. "What's goin' on here?"

"It's your birthday party! Sam's idea," Cas said with a wide grin on his face, walking over to Dean and cupping his blushing face in his hands.

"Birthday party?" Dean asked in disbelief, his eyebrows furrowing and his jaw dropping slightly. "Really? I-I mean, I don't think I've had one of these before. At least, not since I was little."

Cas smiled and stroked Dean's cheeks with his thumbs before leaning in and kissing him briefly. "Yes. Really."

"Wow," Dean said, trying not to get too emotional over this. It was just a birthday party, after all. People had birthday parties every day. But then again, it /wasn't/ just a birthday party, and Dean couldn't help it if his eyes got a little watery as he wrapped his arms around Castiel's neck and leaned in to kiss him again.

"Awww," Dean heard a few voices say, but he couldn't really focus on them because he was still too awestruck by all of this.

After a few seconds, Dean pulled away and smiled, rubbing his eyes before walking over to Sam, who was beaming excitedly.

Dean chuckled and ruffled Sam's hair before raising his eyebrows. "So this was your idea? Why?"

Sam shrugged and kept smiling, though he blushed slightly. "You deserve it."

Dean shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. He knew that was a lie. Even though it was Dad's fault for being absent in the first place, Dean himself made the decision to rob that store, and that just made everything else spiral out of control. "That's not true. But thanks," he said with another smile, moving on to say hello to everyone else.

"Hey." Sam grabbed the sleeve of Dean's shirt, stopping him from going any further. "It is true, Dean. It is."

Something in Sam's voice told Dean that it was best not to argue, so he just nodded. "Alright," he said softly, waiting for Sam to release him before he continued greeting everyone.

***

Once Dean had finished saying hi to everyone, he saw the food. The /food/. How had he not noticed that before? He stepped into the kitchen and his jaw nearly dropped. They'd really gone all out for this. "Woah...look at all this stuff!" Dean exclaimed in surprise, his eyes already feasting upon everything that was on the table. There were three huge pies and plenty of cupcakes and candies, as well as some actual food like pizza, chicken wings, sandwiches, and fruit salad. "When did all of this happen?" Dean asked, referring to the food as well as all of the decorations. "I was gone for less than an hour."

"Well, Dean-o," Gabriel said with his trademark smirk, "the food was prepared hours in advance, courtesy of yours truly." He winked and did a little bow. "And everyone pitched in to help decorate."

Dean rolled his eyes in amusement and grinned. "Well it looks awesome. This whole thing is just...awesome."

"Well, should we begin?" Castiel asked after a moment, clasping his hands together and looking around at everyone.

Dean furrowed his brow in confusion. "Begin what?"

"The activities," Cas replied with an excited smile. "You didn't think that I'd invite everyone here and not have anything planned, did you?"

Dean shrugged and took his jacket off, walking over to the coat rack and hanging it up. "Guess not." He smiled and raised his eyebrows. "So, what are the activities then?"

***

The first one was pin the tail on the donkey. Dean had seen that game played in movies and TV shows, but he'd never actually played it himself.

"This is gonna be easy," Dean said with a confident smirk from where he stood at the front of the line. "C'mon. Blindfold me," he said, closing his eyes as Cas tied the fabric around his eyes.

Once Cas was done tying it, he stepped back and raised his eyebrows. "Can you see anything?"

"Nope," Dean replied honestly. He just knew that this game was gonna be a piece of cake, so he didn't need to cheat.

"Okay," Cas said, smiling as he gripped Dean's shoulders and began spinning him in circles. Dean had to admit, he was getting a little dizzy, but the confident smirk stayed on his face nonetheless. This was child's play. He could do this.

When Dean felt Castiel's hands leave his shoulders, he swayed in place for a moment before taking a step forward and trying to picture where the donkey was. "Alright," he said to himself, raising the tail and pinning it to the spot which he assumed was the donkey's ass.

As soon as he pinned it, he heard laughter erupt from behind him, and he frowned, furrowing his brow and turning around. "What? Did I get it? Why is everyone laughing?" he asked as Castiel's hands came back up to untie the blindfold.

"See for yourself," Cas said, chuckling softly as he pulled the blindfold off.

Dean scowled as he turned to look at the donkey, and he pouted even more when he saw where he'd pinned the tail. It wasn't even on the donkey poster. He'd pinned it on the wall right beside it. "Oh shut up. It was my first time," he said to everyone, crossing his arms as he moved to the back of the line.

"Don't worry about it, boy. I've never been good at this game either," Bobby said, leaning against the wall near the back of the line, Ellen right beside him.

Dean smiled and walked up to them, blushing a little. He knew what was coming. "Thanks Bobby. And thanks for coming, both of you. I know it's a long drive."

"It's no problem." Ellen reached out and pinched Dean's cheek before raising an eyebrow at him. "So, when did you and Cas get together? And why wasn't I informed?"

There it was. Dean's blush deepened and he shifted on his feet. Ellen was the closest thing Dean had to a mother, so this was almost like coming out to his parents. He knew they would accept him, because, well, he and Cas had kissed a few times earlier, but he was still nervous. "Um, I don't know when we officially started dating, because at first I was still kinda unsure and uncomfortable with the fact that I'm bisexual." His heart pounded in his chest and he glanced at Bobby. This was probably the first time Dean had said that out loud. "I-I'd say we've been together for maybe a month and a half now."

Bobby nodded reassuringly at Dean, giving him a small smile. "Good for you, son."

"Yeah, that's great, Dean. I can't remember the last time I've seen you this happy. And Cas seems like a really nice guy," Ellen said with a glance at Cas, who was currently spinning Jo around so she could take a turn.

Dean smiled widely and breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't sure why he was so nervous about that. Bobby and Ellen were two of the most caring, supportive people Dean knew. "Thanks guys," Dean said with a smile, a blush still resting on his freckled cheeks. He turned to see whose turn it was now, and when he saw that it was Sam, he smiled a little, glad that Sammy was getting to be a real kid again.

***

Charlie ended up winning the game, which didn't surprise Dean, for some reason.

"Now we're going to play musical chairs," Castiel announced as he began to make a circle out of several plastic folding chairs. "Does everyone know how to play?"

"Yeah, let's just get started! I'm gonna win this," Dean said, cracking his knuckles. This, this he could win. Cas never said that a little bit of aggression was against the rules. He chuckled to himself before glancing over at Bobby and Ellen, who were sitting off to the side with amused smiles on their faces. "You're not playing?" Dean asked.

Bobby shook his head a few times. "I've got a feeling that this one's gonna get out of hand, so I'm sitting it out."

"Yeah, I say let's leave this one to the kids," Ellen agreed.

"Well, Gabriel's playing," Dean said, gesturing to the man, who seemed more excited than anyone.

"That's because Gabriel is a child," Castiel said, walking up to them and placing a hand on Dean's shoulder. "We're about to start."

Dean nodded and walked back over to the chairs, rubbing the palms of his hands on his jeans and taking a deep breath. He was ready.

Cas had his phone hooked up to the speakers, and he walked back over to it, smiling a little. "Even though everyone said they know how to play, I'm going to explain it anyway." He looked around at everyone who was standing around the chairs. "It's very simple. When the music plays, you walk. You cannot stop walking. When the music stops, you have to try and sit in one of the chairs."

"Question," Gabriel said, raising his hand. "Is physical contact okay? Like, are you allowed to push someone out of the way so you can get to chair?"

Dean glanced at Gabriel and narrowed his eyes slightly. Looks like someone else had the same idea as he did.

Cas thought about Gabriel's question for a moment before nodding slowly. "Yes. Just try  
not to seriously injure anyone, please." He paused. "Are we ready to begin?"

"Yeah!" Dean exclaimed, bouncing on his heels, his heart pounding in his chest.

"Okay," Castiel said, grabbing his phone and starting the music.

The song that came on was "Ramble On" by Led Zeppelin, and Dean smiled a little to himself as he began to walk.

The song played right up until the chorus started, and then Cas stopped it.

Dean inhaled sharply before immediately stepping towards a chair and sitting down. He didn't even have to fight anyone yet, which was a relief. He let out a breath and looked around to see who got out. Sam.

"Come on, Sammy!" Dean said, in between laughs. "You've gotta be aggressive!"

"I tried!" Sam said, though he was laughing too hard for Dean to really take him seriously.

***

Several minutes later, there were only three people left. Dean, Gabriel, and Jo.

"Okay. This is gonna get us down to the final two," Castiel said as he began to play "The Legend Of Wooley Swamp" by The Charlie Daniels Band.

Dean rubbed his hands together as he began to walk, feeling as if his life depended on whether or not he got a seat. Finally the music stopped, and Dean dove for a seat right away, shoving Jo out of the way and sighing heavily.

Jo stuck her tongue out at Dean and went off to the side to go sit beside Sam.

"That's how the game works, sweetheart," Dean said, shrugging at Jo unapologetically and chuckling softly.

But now they were down to the real battle. Dean versus Gabriel. It wouldn't be easy, but Dean knew he could do it.

As soon as they were up, and the music started again, Dean began walking. He kept his eyes glued onto that glorious chair, not focused on anything else. Cas let the song play for a while this time before he finally stopped it.

After that, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Gabriel started to sit down. Dean inhaled sharply and did the first thing that came to his mind. He leapt onto Gabriel's back and tackled him to the ground before scrambling up and sitting down in the chair triumphantly.

"Foul! Foul!" Gabriel called from the floor.

Castiel laughed and shook his head. "No foul. Dean is the winner!"

"Bullshit," Gabe muttered under his breath.

Dean just smiled down at him, feeling very, very happy with himself.

***

Later, everyone was gathered around the table, eating and just chatting with each other. Dean had never been surrounded by this many people he loved all at once, so it was a bit overwhelming to try and decide who he should talk to.

He'd decided to sit in between Charlie and Benny, and across from Sam and Cas. But he still had access to everyone.

"Okay, can we cut the pie now? Please?" Dean asked, bouncing impatiently in his seat.

Castiel shook his head and raised his eyebrows at Dean. "Not yet, Dean. You haven't even had any real food yet. I know it's your birthday, but I don't want you to get a stomachache. Here, have some fruit and eat a slice of pizza, and then you can have some pie," Castiel said, loading Dean's plate up with a lot of fruit and a slice of cheese pizza.

"Aw...you've turned into a mom," Gabriel teased as he watched the exchange between the two.

Castiel wasn't fazed by his brother's comment. Instead, he just shrugged and smiled a little. "Well, if I'm going to be a mom, I might as well be a good one."

Dean ate the pizza quickly and took a little bit longer to eat the fruit, but once his plate was clean, he held it up and showed Cas. "All done. Time for pie."

Castiel looked at Dean's plate and nodded in satisfaction before standing up and going to get a knife. "I'm about to cut the pie. If anyone doesn't like pie, Gabriel made cupcakes as well."

"Who the hell doesn't like pie?" Dean asked, almost offended that Cas would even say that.

Charlie shrugged a little. "Eh. I don't really like pie."

Dean turned and glared at her. "Why am I friends with you again?" he asked, half-joking.

Meanwhile, Cas was sticking candles into the pies. He stuck a few normal candles into the apple pie and the blackberry pie, and then he stuck a special numbered candle that said '17' into the cherry pie.

"Okay," Cas said once he was done, walking over to the lights and dimming them. "Sam, record this, please," he said to the younger Winchester before he got out a lighter and began to sing "Happy Birthday" as he lit each candle.

Soon, everyone joined in, and Dean was feeling extremely loved and special at that moment. He felt like he was floating. He didn't know if he'd ever had a birthday party, but if he had, he must've been too young to remember, because he definitely felt like he was experiencing all of this for the very first time.

Once everyone was done singing, Dean leaned in to blow out the candles, but Cas stopped him before he could.

"Wait, you have to make a wish," Cas said, smiling at the green-eyed boy.

Dean nodded and thought about that for a moment before shrugging. "I honestly don't know what to wish for." It sounded sappy, but it was true. Dean had everything he needed and wanted.

Even in the dim light, Dean could see Castiel's blush, and he smiled a little as Cas hastily covered for it, saying, "Well, just wish for anything. Hurry. The wax is melting."

Dean ended up wishing that things would just stay as awesome as they'd been recently. And if it was possible, maybe things could even get awesome-er.

***

"Oh god, I feel like I'm gonna explode," Dean said once he'd finished eating. He'd had five huge slices of pie, and he already knew that he was gonna feel sick later. But it was all worth it.

"Well," Benny said, looking down at Dean and laughing at his discomfort. "We did tell you to stop after your third slice."

Dean pursed his lips. "Shut up," he snapped, groaning as he rubbed his aching stomach.

Castiel stood up once it looked like everyone was finished eating. "We're going to head back to the living room to open presents," he said, glancing at Dean, who was leaned back in his chair with one hand resting on his stomach. "Someone might need to volunteer to carry Dean," he joked with a smile.

***

Dean didn't even understand how it happened, but somehow he'd managed to make his way over to the couch without collapsing. Cas slid in beside him and wrapped an arm around Dean, pulling him close and pressing a soft kiss to his temple.

"Alright, presents!" Castiel said, running his fingers through Dean's hair before standing up and walking over to the stack. "Which one do you want first, Dean?"

"The big one. With the red bow," Dean said, pointing to the largest present there. He perked up when Cas brought it over to him, grinning as he shook it and held it up to his ear.

"Who's it from?" Someone asked.

Dean found the tag and lifted it up, reading the names. "Ellen, Jo, and Bobby."

Dean tore off the paper excitedly, gasping when he saw what was inside. "Holy shit!" he said, pulling a record player out of the box, his stomachache forgotten. Dean had a bunch of records, but he didn't have a record player, so he just told people that he was "collecting" them. But in reality, he'd wanted nothing more than to be able to listen to each and every one of those records. "This is amazing!" The record player was classic, too. It wasn't a modernized version, it was old. And Dean loved it. "I love it! Thank you so much!" he said with a wide grin, gently setting the player back in the box before running over to Ellen and Bobby and giving each of them big hugs. When he gave Jo her hug, he lifted her off the ground and squeezed tightly for a moment before letting go. "This is awesome," he said, walking back over.

After the excitement died down, Cas brought the next gift over to Dean. This one was pretty big too, covered in shiny orange paper. "This one's from Gabe," Dean said as he opened it, his stomach immediately growling, despite its fullness, when he saw /seven/ whole pies stacked on top of each other. Each pie was contained in its own plastic tin, and it looked like each was a different flavor, too. "This is Heaven," Dean said, not taking his eyes off the pie tower.

"I'm adding pie to the menu at my restaurant, so I thought I'd test the recipes on the best pie connoisseur I know," Gabriel said with a smile. "There's apple, pecan, blackberry, blueberry, cherry, pumpkin, and banana cream."

Dean's tongue ran over his lips involuntarily and he had to force himself to set the pies down before walking over to Gabriel and giving him a well-deserved hug. "You may be annoying, but you can bake a mean pie. Thanks Gabe," Dean said with a chuckle as he walked back over.

"Open ours next," Charlie said, walking to the stack of presents and pulling a single envelope from it. "We all pitched in," she said, meaning herself, Benny, Andrea, and Dorothy. She handed the envelope to Dean and sat back down on the couch, clearly excited to see what he would think of it.

Dean smiled a little and opened the envelope, his mouth falling open when two ACDC concert tickets fell out. "You can't be serious."

"As serious as an undertaker," Benny said, chuckling softly at Dean's surprise. "One for you, and one for whoever you choose."

"I can't believe this!" Dean nearly screamed, running over to his friends and giving each of them a huge hug. "This is incredible!"

After Dean's excitement died down (it took a while) Sam walked up to him with another present. "This one's from me," he said with a grin, biting his lip nervously. "I made it. I hope you like it."

Dean knew he was gonna like it, especially since Sam made it himself. Sam had always been into the crafty gifts, and honestly, those meant just as much to Dean as any other gift would. He tore off the wrapping paper and swallowed hard. Sam had put together a photo album. Dean didn't know how Sam knew that he'd been thinking about pictures, and he didn't know how Sam had acquired enough pictures to put together an album, but there was no question that that's what this was, and Dean felt his heart rate increase as he opened it. "Sammy...this is beautiful," he said as he looked through. The album was arranged in chronological order. The first picture was one of John and Mary as young adults, standing in front of the Impala and smiling brightly. In the second picture, Mary was pregnant, presumably with Dean. In the third, John was holding a newborn son. The next few pictures were Dean as a toddler, and then one of Dean holding a new baby brother. There was one more picture of Mary with the boys, and then there were no more pictures of her. The pictures were more spread out after that. After Mary died, John stopped taking as many. But there were still quite a few that Dean had never seen before. Like one of him and Sam digging holes in the backyard, one of Sam wearing Dean's oversized tennis shoes, one of the boys, a little older, watching a movie together. "This is amazing," Dean said, his voice tight with emotion as he flipped through. "Where did you find all these?"

Sam smiled and blushed slightly. "From Dad. Last time he called, I asked if he had any pictures, and he said he kept a whole box of them under his bed. I thought this was a much safer place to keep them."

Dean nodded, unable to keep the tears from falling. "Thank you so, so much Sam." Dean wished there was a way that he could get it across to Sam how much all this meant to him, but he just couldn't, so he'd have to settle for a hug.

***

About an hour later, everyone was slowly making their way out. Once they were gone, Cas turned to Dean and Sam with a smile. "I have to give Dean my gift. Well, it's a gift for the whole family, but I figured that this is a good occasion to reveal it. I'll be right back," he smiled and then left the apartment.

Sam turned to Dean and raised his eyebrows. "What do you think it is?"

"I got no clue," Dean said, confused and a bit excited.

Cas returned a few minutes later, a bundle in his arms. Dean furrowed his brow and peered at it, his heart stopping for a moment when the bundle jumped out of Castiel's arms and began running around.

"A dog?" Dean asked, his eyes wide in disbelief.

"A dog!" Sam screamed out of excitement, chasing after the small puppy and trying to capture it.

Castiel nodded, laughing at Sam as he chased the creature around. "I promise I did not mean to get this dog. It was a complete accident. I was just walking by, and the animal shelter was holding adoptions, and I saw him, and he jumped right into my arms and I...I couldn't resist."

Dean laughed and looked over at Sam, who'd captured the puppy and was now holding it in his arms. "You're such a sucker," he said to Cas. "Well, what kind of dog is it? What's its name?"

Castiel smiled a little. "St. Bernard. And he doesn't have a name yet."

Dean's eyebrows shot up at that. "St. Bernard? Cas, those things get huge! Can we really keep him here?"

Castiel shook his head. "For now, yes. But long-term, no. Which is why we're moving." He held up a hand before Dean could start talking. "I'm not sure where yet, or even when. I thought I'd include you and Sam in the search. But the place definitely needs to have a backyard."

"Can we name him Rocket? He's pretty fast." Sam asked, a goofy smile on his face as he walked up to Dean and Cas, the puppy licking his chin repeatedly.

Castiel shrugged and glanced at Dean, who shrugged as well. "I don't see why not."

"Awesome!" Sam squealed.

Dean smiled at the dog before holding out his arms. Dean liked dogs just as much as the next guy, but he never thought that he'd actually own one. But still...the little guy /was/ pretty cute...

"Here," Sam said, passing the dog.

And Dean was hooked. As soon as the puppy started licking his face, Dean began giggling, and he couldn't stop.

***

Later that night, Sam was tucked into bed, and Rocket was sleeping at the foot of his bed. Dean and Cas were sitting on the couch, cleaning up the trash from the party, when Dean leaned in. "I got you a thank you gift. It's in your bedroom. We should go get it," he whispered into Castiel's ear, his mouth pressed against it.

Castiel just nodded, taking Dean's hand and leading him to the bedroom. As soon as the door was closed, Dean pressed Cas against it and sank down onto his knees, unbuckling Castiel's jeans and pulling those down as well as his underwear.

"This is for being such an amazing person," Dean said, gripping Castiel's dick at the base and leaning in to engulf it with his mouth.

"Unf," Castiel groaned, his hand falling into Dean's hair and his head tipping back to rest against the door.

This wasn't Dean's first blowjob. Over the past few weeks, he and Cas had had plenty of fun in the bedroom, so Dean knew what to do by this point. He made his eyes wide and looked up at Cas as he bobbed his head, his cheeks hollowed out as his tongue rubbed along the bottom of Castiel's cock. 

"Dean..." Castiel moaned, his grip in Dean's hair tightening as he slowly began to thrust into Dean's mouth. 

Dean just took it, letting his mouth go slack and allowing Cas to take what he needed. Dean was incredibly grateful for the party, and everything else Cas had done, so the man deserved this much. He deserved more. 

***

Dean was lying awake in bed that night, tangled up in Castiel's arms and thinking about his wish earlier. Dean had never thought that he'd make it to this point in life. To the point where it was difficult for him to think of a wish. But here he was. And Dean had never felt happier than he did in that moment.

He felt Cas stir next to him, and then the man woke up, just staring at Dean for a moment before leaning in and giving him a kiss that left Dean breathless and satisfied.

Satisfaction. That's the perfect word for how Dean felt about life now. He had everything, and he just felt so...fulfilled. Dean smiled to himself with this realization and placed his hands on the back of Castiel's head, pulling him down for another kiss. "Thank you," he whispered quietly, probably too quietly for Cas to even hear. "Thank you."

 

THE END


	33. One Year Later

"Is Sam /still/ in the shower?" Castiel asked, pacing nervously and rubbing his hands together. "I knew it was a bad idea to let him have his own bathroom when we moved here. He takes forever." Cas sighed and walked over to the stairs, cupping his hands around his mouth and yelling, "Sam, please hurry! We're going to be late!" 

Dean chuckled softly and walked over to Cas, placing his hands on the other's shoulders and rubbing them gently. "Breathe, Cas. We'll get there on time." 

Castiel turned around and continued to pace, clearly stressed. "You have to be there in thirty minutes and we live fifteen minutes away. This is a very important day. I want you to be punctual."

Cas was right. It /was/ a very important day. Graduation. It was still hard for Dean to believe that he'd actually made it this far. He was graduating high school, and he was gonna go to college too. It was exciting. 

All of a sudden, Rocket started barking, and that didn't seem to help ease Castiel's frustration. "Why are you barking at me?" Castiel asked, crouching down in front of the dog and looking at him with concern in his eyes. 

The tone of Castiel's voice made Dean laugh. He asked like he actually expected the dog to answer. Rocket had grown a lot since they got him. He was about a year and a half now, and he was /huge/. He was a sweet dog though, and he was always trying to climb onto someone's lap or jump up and lick their faces.

As soon as Cas knelt down, Rocket began licking all over his face, leaving a trail of slimy slobber wherever his tongue went. "Oh, gross," Castiel said, standing back up and wiping his face off with his sleeve. 

"I think he's telling you that he wants you to calm down, because everything's gonna be fine," Dean said, leaning against the wall and smiling at Cas. 

Castiel rolled his eyes fondly and smiled at Dean, walking over to him and pressing a brief kiss to his lips before pulling away and patting him on the cheek. "I'll be right back. I'm going to see if Sam's almost ready." 

"Okay," Dean said, leaning in to get one more kiss before he nodded and let Cas head upstairs to go get Sam. 

Once Cas left, Dean reached down to scratch Rocket behind the ears and just think for a moment. It was insane just how much his life had changed since he met Cas. He never thought that he would actually make it here. He'd always been pretty sure that he was going to drop out before senior year. Cas had changed all that. But Dean would give himself some credit too. He knew that there must've been some sort of drive in him as well. Something in him was determined to make it. And he did. 

Even in just the past year, their lives had changed drastically. They'd moved into a two-story house with a large, fenced in backyard, Sam had started high school, and Cas got his first teaching job. He was teaching third grade at the local elementary school, and while he eventually wanted to be a college professor, this was still a good start. Even Dean got a job. He was just waiting tables at a nearby restaurant, but it was still a job, and he was working there with Benny, so that just made it even more fun. 

Just then, the phone rang, and Dean walked over and picked it up, his brow furrowed. "Hello?" he asked.

"Hey Dean," said the gruff voice on the other line. 

"Oh. Hi Dad," Dean said, running his fingers through his hair. 

Things were still a bit tense between Dean and his father. But that was understandable. Things would probably never be completely normal between them. 

Dean heard some shuffling, and then his dad spoke up again. "Uh, I just wanted to call and wish you a happy graduation day. I'm very proud of you."

Dean smiled a little at that. "Thanks." It felt good to know that someone was proud of him.

"I wish I could be there," John said.

Dean's smile faltered a bit and he nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Me too." 

There was a long, slightly awkward moment of silence before John cleared his throat. "Uh, is Sam around?"

"He's upstairs getting dressed," Dean said, wandering around the living room aimlessly as he spoke. 

"Oh. Well tell him I said hi," John said.

"Will do," Dean said, still walking around the room. He glanced at his watch and frowned a little. Maybe Cas was right to be a little worried. They were cutting it a bit close. 

There was another pause on the other line. "Okay. I'll talk to you later, Dean. Have fun today." 

Dean nodded again, smiling. "Thanks," he said before hanging the phone up and walking over to the stairs again. "Guys, we probably want to get going!" he called, glancing at his watch again and tapping his foot impatiently.

A minute later, Cas and Sam both came downstairs, and Dean raised his eyebrows at Sam and frowned a little. "What took you so long?"

Sam blushed a little, embarrassed. "I couldn't find my other shoe."

Dean couldn't help but laugh, ruffling Sam's hair and shaking his head in amusement. "Dummy." 

"Okay. Are we ready?" Castiel asked, raising his eyebrows at the boys. After they both nodded, Castiel began to walk towards the door, grabbing his keys on the way out. "Dean, don't forget your cap," he reminded as he opened the door and walked out into the garage. 

"Oh, yeah," Dean said, hurrying back into the living room and grabbing his cap from the coffee table before joining Sam and Cas in the car.

***

"Dean, Sam and I are both very proud of you," Castiel said as he drove to the school, glancing over at Dean and giving him a smile.

Dean grinned at that, feeling all giddy like he felt every time someone told him they were proud of him. Cas had already given Dean his graduation present, which was a cruise to the Caribbean. Dean was really freakin' excited about that, because he'd only been out of Kansas a couple times, and he'd always wanted to travel. "Well, I couldn't have done it without you two," Dean said honestly, returning Castiel's smile and then glancing to the back seat to smile at Sam as well. 

***

As soon as they pulled up to the school, Dean got out of the car and hurried into the auditorium while Cas parked. The ceremony had already begun, but they were just making some announcements and other such things that Dean didn't really care about. 

He stood off to the side, looking for somewhere to sit. His class was pretty big, and it didn't look like there were any open seats. Dean frowned until he spotted Charlie and Benny. They were gesturing for him to come sit with them, and it looked like they'd saved him a seat. Awesome.

Dean grinned and went over, taking his seat right in between the two of them and grinning. "I can't believe this is actually happening," he whispered, so as not to disturb the person who was currently speaking. 

"I know, right?" Charlie said, pulling her phone out and clicking on the camera. "Let's take a quick selfie so we can remember this moment forever."

Benny rolled his eyes and chuckled softly. "The valedictory speech is about to happen, Char. Isn't that kinda rude?" 

Charlie turned to Benny and narrowed her eyes slightly before sticking her tongue out at him. "Just pull that stick out of your ass and smile. It's our fucking graduation day," she whispered, smiling as she reached over and punched Benny on the arm. 

Dean laughed softly and rolled his eyes as well before smiling up at camera and wrapping an arm around each of his friends. 

***

Dean waited not-so-patiently for his name to be called so he could go up and get his diploma. His /diploma/. He still couldn't really believe that this moment was finally here. His heart was beating so fast and he could feel his face heating up as he waited, extremely nervous. He felt like he was gonna trip and fall, or do something else of that nature to embarrass himself. God, it sucked having a last name that started with a letter so late in the alphabet. Going last gave you way too much time to think about everything that could go wrong. 

Finally, his name was called. Dean grinned and stood up, and everything felt like it was happening in slow motion as he walked up onto the stage. His whole life had led up to this one moment, and Dean felt great. His hands shook as he took the diploma and began to walk off. He looked out into the crowd just before he stepped down, and through his haze of excitement and anxiety, he could faintly hear two familiar voices cheering his name. 

Dean grinned and stood there for a moment longer before walking off. Cas was proud of him, Sam was proud of him, and even his father was proud of him. But right then, no one was more proud of Dean than Dean himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone. <3


End file.
